Mario Batali's Brown Line Adventure!

OK, so I'm sure it wasn't REALLY Mario Batali, but the guy on the train did really look like him.  

Red hair tied back in ponytail?  Check!  Beard?  Check!  Figure?  Check!  Sloppy style?  Check!  

The only thing missing were the Crocs.  I assume he wears them even when not in the kitchen, though they didn't mention that on his Chefography.  Also, I picture MB as tall.  This guy wasn't.

Another interesting thing on my train ride home (don't get too excited as it's not that great) -- I saw a man reading a Russian/Polish entertainment mag.  I didn't recognize any of the "stars", but there was one article that looked promising.  Some woman in a slinky black dress was singing and sloppy drunk (presumably on Vodka).  But, as I cannot read the language and do not talk to strangers, I guess we'll never know.

How did I end up on the "old man" mailing list?

I just got a subscription offer from Reader's Digest, and I want to know why.  I'm not even thirty yet!  They provide a "summary of benefits" with the offer.  A small sampling of what is listed:

• 50 very funny jokes and stories each month
• 12 Celebrity profiles
• Thousands of tips to make life easier, safer and more fun
• 15 new vocabulary words every month to increase your word power

Clearly this digest is meant for people who have never been online (though they DO have a web presence).  I can get all of that from YouTube and Wikipedia.    And also, safer?  Like what, exactly?  How to spot a terrorist in a crowded room?  Remembering to check your smoke detector batteries twice a year?  How to spot telemarketing scams before they happen to you?

I wonder if this has anything to do with my recent purchase of a new nose hair trimmer.  That's right, I said new.  My old one died.

Color Correction Part Deux--J's Suggestions

I do like the dark chocolate brown idea (that I suggested in my comment to D's post), but this (although--not that baby-blue) would be interesting...

But I also like the yellow idea... like this:

Or then there is lavendar-gray. Like a silvery purple?

Color Correction

In preparation for my parents coming to visit (in 2.5 weeks!), P and I will be painting our bedroom this long weekend!  I'm excited, and P is not.  This is necessary for two reasons:

1. The paint job in our apartment is crap.  Our landlord painted it with color, which is a nice change of pace from normal apartment living, but they cheaped out on the type of paint.  It gets dirty very easily, and when you try to wash it, it comes off on the sponge.  
   
2. My parents got P and I a lovely duvet cover for Christmas, as well as some paintings for the wall.  The problem: the duvet cover and painting colors do not go with the current scheme in our bedroom, so they remain in the packaging in which they came.  

Here's where you come in.  I need color suggestions for the walls, please.  The duvet cover looks like this (ours is in blue) :

The paintings are a dark indigo blue, with white frames, and a very similar color to the duvet as an accent.  So, what do you think?  The other catch is, we have a faux fur coverlet that is a deep red.  I was thinking grey walls, but P says that is boring.  

Please engage in a lively discussion via post comments.

Are you trying to tell me something?

I have this friend (we'll call her "J") who absolutely refuses to add me as a friend on Facebook.  I'm trying not to take offense, but it's getting pretty hard to ignore.  I mean, I thought we were close.  I was in her wedding, even!  And we practically lived together in Denver.  Sometimes we'd spend the entire weekend together.  That is, until either (1) she'd start to stink (she showers an average of .5 times per weekend) or (2) one of us got annoyed with the other.  I'm not sure what I could have done.  Except... well, I'm keeping her sunglasses held hostage.  But is THAT enough to prevent e-networking?  This blogger thinks not!  OK fine.  I'll TRY to remember to go to the Post Office this weekend.  I promise.  But, I'll ONLY do that if J adds me as a friend on Facebook.  

Come back to me, J. Come back to Cold Mountain.

An Apology

Sorry, readers, for the dearth of posts lately. I know the other two are busy at work and therefore haven't the luxury I have of staring at a computer all day. As for myself, well... I just can't seem to think of much to blog about. Are there any requests? suggestions? starters?

The Two Monas

As many of you know, I often ride my bike along the Cherry Creek Trail to work. If you continue on the Trail past my office, you get to Confluence Park which is where the REI Flagship Store is located. It's a lovely little area called Riverfront: there is a park, tons of new architecture, Vitamin Cottage, and a little shopping area with Proto's Pizza, The Spice Store and a Wine Shop I have never been in, but hear the guy who owns it hand-picks wine and has a good relatively inexpensive selection.

There is also Mona's Restaurant which is blue on the outside, has a pair of mannequin legs crossed over its doorway and a large beguiling black and white mural of Mona Lisa on its east outside wall. (If I had a camera, I would post a pic. Alas.) I decided to walk up there for lunch and then decided to try the restaurant since, for once, there didn't seem to be a crowd.

I wasn't impressed by the menu. Pretty standard fare. They are only open for breakfast and lunch, so there were egg dishes, french toast, eggs Benedict, a breakfast burrito, blueberry pancakes. (For lunch: sandwiches) Nothing jumped out at me, so I went for the cheapest and ordered the huevos rancheros. It arrived very quickly (maybe five minutes after I ordered, if even). I was so pleasantly surprised. Turns out, this wasn't standard fare. (Again, if I had a camera...) The pinto beans and cheese were spread on the dish, topped with a lightly-fried flour tortilla bowl. Inside were my eggs, a delicious pork green chile, lettuce, tomatoes, topped with guacamole. And garnished with a lime. It was delicious and simple and so pretty. It was such a lovely addition to my day!

Dave and I have noticed a Mona's on Broadway a few blocks down from where we live. I wondered if it had the same owners as the Riverfront restaurant. Apparently so. It seems to me the one on Broadway looked more like a dinner-type place, somewhat fancy. And something reminded me of Greek food (a sign maybe? *shrug*) I will be sure to review that location soon!

Maaaahhhhwwwwwaaage

Today, California's highest court ruled that denying same-sex couples the right to marry is unconstitutional, granting loving, committed gay and lesbian couples the dignity and support their relationships have so long been denied.


Well, duh. I am a student of American history and The Law. I totally understand the opposition to gay marriage (while I do not sympathize with it, I think anti-gay rights people make their position very clear: they think it's immoral and since the government tries to prevent other immoral acts, like murder, they think it's the government's role to try to prevent this particular immoral act. There are quite a number of things wrong with this premise, namely: being gay is not universally considered immoral and even something as seemingly straight(ha!)forward as murder has its own exceptions). However, what people opposed to the legality of gay marriage fail to understand, beyond the whole civil rights issue (for further study, submit "right to privacy and the Constitution" to Google) is the legal issue of marriage.

Marriage is two-fold. On one side is the Church which represents the spiritual/religious side of marriage. However, the Church does not control marriage in this country. For example, you don't have to have a Christian church perform the ceremony to be married. Nor do you have to have a religious ceremony to be married. However, you DO have to follow certain legal formalities to be considered married (even to be considered common-law married).

The legal side of marriage is where the state comes in (not the federal government, dillweeds). The state's role, historically, is to uphold the contract of marriage. There are many traditional reasons the state became involved in marriage, but fundamentally it was to enforce the contract. The right to freedom of contract (basically, that consenting adults have the right to strike a bargain among themselves and expect that they can legally enforce their rights and the obligations of the other parties in a court of law) is one that I know opponents to gay marriage hold dear. Who doesn't? Can you imagine if you sold something to someone else under a contract, they took the item but refused to pay you, but a court told you you're SOL, contract or not? No! We rely on the government to enforce the agreement s we enter into.

Of course, illegal contracts are not upheld by the courts (so if you hire someone to kill your neighbor and sign a contract, the contract cannot be enforced). So opponents want to make gay marriage illegal. But there is no basis for doing so. So long as two adults consent, they can determine the nature of their relationship and it is the government's duty to honor the contract they form together.

I think instead, opponents of gay marriage should work on their churches. Churches have the right to determine whether to honor certain types of marriages. For example, the Catholic Church used to refuse to marry people who had been divorced (I think they've loosened up on this one, right?). But the state does not have the same power.

It used to. In the past, different states have made bi-racial marriages illegal. They have made family planning illegal. They have made certain sex acts illegal.

If people really thought about the implications of the government telling you who you can marry and define what your relationship should be --how many people would support that and be willing to apply it to their marriage?

Songs for a bad day

So I officially had a bad day. I'm in the ICU right now and one or our patients coded (i.e., cardiac arrest) and died. She was very young (late 20s) and after she had passed, we realized that it was her birthday. The first time she coded, we got a pulse back for a little bit and then lost it again and were in the middle of compressions when they let the mother come in...she walked up to the bed and told them to stop compressions and then started to thank everyone for the care they had given her daughter. I almost lost it. I often am close to losing it when a code goes poorly and someone dies and it's worse when they are young and you see the family reacting. I guess that's one reason I'm glad I'm not an MD.

On the way home, I cranked in to some of my favorite "bad day" songs and I don't know about you but sometimes I like to listen to sad songs. And so here are a few of my favorites for days like this (in the order in which I think of them):

1. "Asleep" by the Smiths (the lyrics = totally depressing)
2. "One" by U2 (U2 has so many good songs like this...)
3. "Breath Me" by Sia (featured in the last sequence of Six Feet Under...which ALWAYS makes me lose it)
4. "A Bad Dream" by Keane (featured in the scene where Carla says goodbye to a dying Laverne, one of the nurses on Scrubs)
5. "How To Disappear Completely" by Radiohead
6. "Fade Into You" by Mazzy Star
7. "I Know" by Jude
8. "Famous Blue Raincoat" by Leonard Cohen (but best performed by Tori Amos)
9. "Dissolved Girl" by Massive Attack
10. "Milk" by Garbage (no idea what the lyrics mean but the music is very sad)
11. "You Have Been Loved" by George Michael

If I had more time, I would link these to sites where you could listen but I have to make dinner.

P.S. To all my loyal fans, sorry I haven't posted much lately...*usual song and dance*

Madonna concert, here we come!

We bought our Madonna tickets today!  We're in section 101, row 11.  The last time I did a presale, we were in section 5.  There were absolutely no floor tickets available, and I got my tickets less than a minute after they went on sale.  I assume that blank space in front of section will be stage as it was the last time.  If so, our seats aren't SO bad, but we won't be able to see Madonna sweat this time.  :(  

You can catch me poppin' now...

As I mentioned in my last post, one of my favorite songs from Madonna's new album is Heartbeat.  In the song, Madonna sings, "You can catch me poppin' now... droppin' now.  Ain't no stoppin' now.  Are you watchin' now?"  In my constant attempt to improve my dancing skills*, I wanted to see if I could learn how I might go about "poppin' that".  Turns out this is what that would look like.  In answer to Madonna's question: YES!  I AM watchin' now.  How could I NOT?  However, I'm fairly certain this will not wind up in the skills section of my resume in the near future.

EDIT: I didn't actually watch the entire video before posting it.  I'm not sure if she's pregnant or just fat.  Can anyone else tell? I mean, I know they SAY she's pregnant but...

*I am never ever successful. Rhythm and I do not get along.

This is VERY funny to me.

Wanted: Catchy Posts

I'm just going to come out and say it: I can't think of anything to blog about. I was going to write about how Starbucks makes me feel, but now... well, I don't want to be judged by other people for putting my feelings on display. I thought I would just click the "New Post" link and type to see if anything creative might happen.

One thing that IS exciting in my life right now: Madonna just announced that her "Sticky & Sweet" Tour kicks off this fall! I know what most of you are thinking: "WTF kind of sick-ass name is THAT for a tour?!" Well, one of her songs ("Candyshop") is full of candy terms that have sexual connotations. In it, she not only repeats "sticky and sweet" many times, she also says things like "my sugar is raw" and "I've got turkish delight baby and so much more". Despite what it probably sounds like to someone who hasn't heard the song, it's catchy. As is the entire album. I would encourage you to at least have a listen to a couple of tracks. My current faves are "Give it 2 Me", "Heartbeat" and "Beat Goes On (feat. Kanye West)". Where was I? Oh right! The Tour! Tickets go on presale to fan club members on Monday at 10am, so you know where I'll be. The last time I got tickets this way, we could see her sweat on stage!

*replayed joke for some of you* I think I just peed my pants in anticipation... now I'M sticky and sweet.

On a good day: bemused; on a bad day: enraged

Dave has commented about this SAME THING to me: why do certain people who comment on news websites think anyone CARES about what they have to say? I understand comments about the way the news is reported. I do not understand a posting of how the news makes me feel. The general exception being national tragedies, I suppose, where people need to reach out to others who feel the same as part of a universal healing process.

Specifically, this is the type of thing I am referring to:

Show me the lemon, Starbucks!

by Al Lewis on May 6, 2008

All I want is a damn lemon for my iced tea. It’s a $2.10 drink that they make for pennies. Is it too much to ask for a lemon? Or even a package of lemon concentrate?

When I brought this to the attention of the top brass at Starbucks,
all they gave me was the run-around.

The best Starbucks executive vice president Michelle Gass could do for me was refer me to mystarbucksidea.com and suggest that I write down my comments there.

COMMENTS:

I also prefer lemon-flavored iced tea. When I make a gallon jug of sun tea at home, I include a bag of Celestial Seasonings Lemon Zinger along with the Lipton Cold Brew tea bags. For a stronger lemon flavor, I sometimes use 2 bags of Zinger. I’ve also used lemon-flavored Crystal Light On the Go Hydration in my iced tea. The main purpose of that product is to flavor bottled water, but it works good in tea, both hot and cold.

ANOTHER COMMENT:

Denver is a Party Town

The reason Denver residents can’t participate in high quality public education through Charter Schools is because they are unfortunate enough to live and stay in the City and County of Denver. Yes, Denver is a liberally run, Democratic Party Town. One of the biggest constituencies and politically influential lobbies of the DNC is the National Teachers Association and National Education Assoc. (a.k.a.Teacher’s Unions). Public School Teacher unions (K-12) don’t want competition. Teacher unions don’t like school vouchers or charter or even magnet schools. Instead, teachers unions want more money and political power, often at the expense of someone else.

The one thing these leaches don’t want to do is to be held accountable or have to perform at a higher standard. Too bad if your kids live in a big city like Denver, where Federally ordered school busing is still the law. (Even if you lived near a good public school, your kids would be required to attend a more distant, mediocre inner city school with more ethnic diversity and higher crime.

It is all about dumbing down the next generation so all they can do is work for foreign-owned or managed sweat shops or be the equivalent of Turkish Mamluks in the Corporate or Government Bureaucracy.

I found this picture on Google when I searched for "disbelief". She definitely expresses the annoyance/boredom I feel towards these commentaters. I call it simply: "MM-HMMM..."

Pike Place

What IS it I find so damn charming about Starbucks? I was standing in line this morning admiring their artistic collection of promotional items advertising the Pike Place Blend of coffee, which (as if you don't already know) is in honor of the very first Starbucks on Pike Place in Seattle, 1971. The new cup logo (I wouldn't know first hand, I always bring my mug)is a throwback to their original logo showing a siren. But the original logo was too racy, so the later version (the one we probably all know--in green) was just the siren's head. They chose the name Starbucks after a character in Moby Dick. I know all this because I looked it up long ago, so early was my near-infatuation with the "local" coffee shop. What I did just recently learn, though, is that the 3 founders were 2 teachers and a writer. Perhaps my intellect is drawn somehow to their coffee?

Another thing I LOVE about Starbucks is the Pick of the Week. Every Tuesday, they put out a stack of cards on the counter for that week's free song from iTunes. I never remember to go on Tuesday, but they inevitably have some still lying around when I DO go. Has no one else picked up on this? The songs are generally very good! For anyone looking for a worthwhile freebie, I encourage you to go to Starbucks!

Jenn to the rescue!

Honestly, people, I am busy, too, but the Blog is one of the reasons I actually make it to work in the morning!

I went to Montrose, CO for a trial yesterday afternoon. It's a 5 hour drive from Denver and just beautiful. I took 285 to 50
View Larger Map which takes you over a few passes, through some crazy curves, overlooking wide valleys and finally opens up on the Western Slope.

I stayed at a Bed and Breakfast which I have never done before and it was perfect! It felt like a vacation! I will save details of the B&B for my next blog, when I get my pics up.

The trial was very interesting. It was my first. Nothing too exciting--it was a clear-cut contracts case, but the other attorney was a piece of work--I got to object and rebut and make all sorts of lawyer moves I learned on Law & Order. Kidding! No, really, practice in the courtroom is different from your every day practice as a lawyer, but I held my own. It was funny because everytime I made an objection, I didn't stand up and say, "objection!", I would politely interrupt and say, "Excuse me, Your Honor, but I don't understand the relevance of this line of questioning." You're supposed to name the reason you object anyways, so I figured this was good practice. Apparently it was because I won. I'd be more excited if it had been a tough case or one where I really wanted Justice to prevail. But it was just about money, who owes how much. * sigh *

Anyways, having to travel to another part of the state reminded me 1. how beautiful Colorado is and how much there is to discover within a day's drive of Denver, and 2. how important it is to get away sometimes. Much as I missed my husband, my house, my cats, my email and this Blog, it was still nice to get away from it all. It forced me to relax (although, I would have been a lot MORE relaxed if I hadn't been preparing for, or at least thinking about, trial).

For the love of Wii

If you still need a reason to get a Wii, I have one for you: Mario Kart Wii.  First of all, it has many of the tracks from previous games that you know and love (Rainbow Road anyone? Pwa pwa pwa pwaaaa pwa-pwa pwaaaaaaaa pwaaaaaaa!) only with updated graphics.  This Mario Kart is better because you actually "drive" with a steering wheel that you hold in front of you.  AND, you can play online with people from around the world.  AND, you can play with friends simply by registering their Wii ID with your system.  S, L and I used to have all-day Mario Kart matches -- that is until L got carsick and had to stop playing.  You can play with up to 12 people in this version!  

And another reason for you to get a Wii: Wii Fit.  I promise I'll exercise if P buys me this!  At least once a week :)

For the Love of Pickles

I discovered these little packs of pickles at the store. They're so HANDY! I do realize that I could buy a jar of pickles and put them in a small container, which I fully intend to do, but just wanted to give Mt. Olive's pickle pak its due for rekindling my love of pickles.

A Time for Peace

I second P's expressed frustration with the news of late. I'm no therapist, but seems to me a lot of people (the everyday kind and the media) are doing a lot of emotional reacting these days. Isn't that what feeds the news, anyways? We want drama! Scandal! Tragedy! Fear!

Well, I'm done for a bit. Just taking a break. I am going to focus on paying down my credit card bills with my stimulus payment. (I know W asked me to go spend it, but I already DID.) I am going to focus on planting a garden in my backyard. I am going to focus on eating organic and shopping local farmer's markets. I am going to focus on what I really want to do for work. Nice things. Things about Hope and Happiness and a Brighter Future. I'm not going to argue for it anymore. People have to decide for themselves what they want.

But my advice to my President is to stop indulging in the defensive spiral. Don't defend the pastor of your church--talk about the fact that you are the only one of the candidates to regularly attend the same church for 20 years. Don't defend HIS comments--when asked, just remind people that the only person who speaks for you is you. Let certain people get their panties in a bunch. It's funny to watch.

drum roll please...

And now this is really, truly actually the 100th post!!!!

IN YOUR FACE, LEON!

Funny story...J gets one of her nicknames from the word that comes up in T9word for text messaging on a cell phone...Leon instead of Jenn.

Has anyone noticed that I've been posting nonsense just to get us to the 100th post? BOOYA!

OVER IT!

So sorry to be political but I just have to say to Hillary, Obama and the Democratic Party:

I'M OVER IT!!

Actually, I should be directing some of this at the media. But this primary season has gone on way too long. And if I have to hear one more of these shetbags talk about Reverend Wright or something else that DOESN'T MATTER I am going to scream. This primary is damaging the party and its chances of winning back the presidency. So I beg you...Hillary...just DROP OUT. Thank you. It should now be an easy decision...superdelegate Cole has backed your opponent.

SHOES

So here's another thing I stole from Liam Sullivan's blog. This is hilarious and definitely in the same vein of I Can Has Cheezburger.

i'm gonna betch slap you!

So D and I went with some friends to see Margaret Cho this weekend. She was fabulously funny as usual. But the guy that opened for her, Liam Sullivan, is pretty funny. His character Kelly is hilarious. Here's an example:

Superdelegate Revealed

In a political stunner, Cole Erik O'Donnell has just revealed himself to be one of the fabled Democratic Party superdelegates!  C.E.O., President of the Cook County Cats for Change, has thrown his support behind Democratic front-runner Barack Obama.  O'Donnell refused to comment on his decision, but his sister, Sheila Beyoncé Solange Knowles Dytri, held a press conference to announce her support for George W. Bush's third term.  It is unclear what Dytri's support will mean considering a third term is unconstitutional, and considering she has absolutely no say in the matter.  We will have more on this breaking story as it unfolds.

Photo Caption: Cole Erik O'Donnell in his office at the Cook County Cats for Change

This blog best on Mac

Not to disappoint all you Windows kids out there, but the blog is super crisp and a pleasure to read on my Mac.  When I am at work and blogging (if my boss is reading this, I'm kidding!), it's like I have Vaseline on my screen.  This is why I need an iphone.  I want to blog on the go!  I'm positive I would blog way more than I do now, and my iphone would work seamlessly on my Mac.  If I saw a disgusting person on the bus, I could take their picture and blog something awful about them in a span of five minutes!  

This is where you come in, Apple.  We'd love you to sponsor our blog.  Think of the opportunities!  We'd let you use us in your commercials, for starters.  You could use the blogging craze as a justification for Americans to try the iphone.  AND you could set our commercial to one of Madonna's Hard Candy songs (in stores Tuesday!) -- I'd suggest "Beat Goes On" since the commercial would likely have a travelin' theme.  It really would be a win-win for all of us -- Apple, Madonna, AND this blog.  We'd move products off the shelves, and people would learn to love P. D. and J.  And Madonna!  Honey!  You could give us free tickets to your concerts and we could blog live from the concert.  This just gets better and better, doesn't it?  

As I'm sure Apple execs reading this will need to know where to begin, please send one of us an email.  We'll provide our mailing addresses so that you can send our FREE iphones, and we'll get this party started.  

Anxiously awaiting your e,

P. D. and J.

How To

One of my favorite additions to my iGoogle page is wikiHow. You can find all SORTS of helpful information. Like, How to Draw Graffiti Names, or How to Win a Street Fight. While I have never tried those out, they might come in handy some day should I be initiated into a gang. (What I picture: some set of circumstances by which I find myself in an inner city and need the help of some gang members in order to continue my mission. But they refuse to help me until I prove myself. Thus, the initiation. Scene ends with said gang members thinking I am cool.)
But others I HAVE found helpful: How to Open a Door With a Credit Card, How to Exercise Your Eyes, How to Write a Rap Song, How to Run up a Wall and Flip. Not that any of those went especially well, but yet another reason I love the internet: it makes me think my potential is unlimited.

Distribution of Me

This is not meant as a competing post to P's, but I wanted to include the graphic.  This is a distribution of D's across the United States.  And it's based on "listings", so we know there are more.  I'm not listed currently, so add "one" to Illinois!

This was also one my faves.

Then, there's always this one.  But generally speaking, I only get the "Are you Ozzy and

 Harriet's son" crap from supermarket check-out ladies.  

Am I really that unique?

Have you ever googled yourself? I just did (can you tell I'm busy at work today?) and it came back with 125,000 hits (D would get A LOT MORE...I'm just saying...trying to make myself feel better). Now that doesn't necessarily mean that there are 125,000 other P's out there but still...that's a lot.

Also, those that share my moniker are BORING. And on the whole nerdy and unattractive (try an images.google.com search of your name too...scary!). Lots of men of the cloth as well. Why is that?

LinkedIn also gives another indication of just how boring my kind are: project manager (dig at someone I know), director of pricing (yawn), self-employed (smokes weed), underwriting officer (sounds so official...officially boring!), accountant (taped glasses), regional sales manager (isn't that like...everyone on the Office?), independent professional (smokes weed AND crack), credit risk and insolvency administrator (I just may be at risk of becoming insolvent right now...huh?).

So I ask all of our readers to search themselves on the internets. What you find may scare you!

(And now I've officially contributed to this blog...I am busy!)

Recycling: Now at Work!

Today they announced a new recycling initiative at work! I promptly filled up the new bin in our area with all the crap I've been meaning to take home. But, it's about freakin' time, work!

So, this wasn't much of a post, but it's something, right? Enough to keep the "D" in the name, I hope!

100TH POST!

And it's MINE, ALL MINE.

Happy Earth Day!

So my new focus on the green front is personal care. I found this great website:



The website has tons on information on green living.

Specifically, the True Beauty section has recipes for face cleansers and moisturizers (olive oil!), body scrubs, etc. So simple and cheap! And good for the environment. I can't imagine the waste product generated by packaging the face lotion I normally use. I slathered on some olive oil this morning and was surprised--it doesn't feel greasy at all! I will keep you posted on my progress in this area.

Heartwarming

Watch this elephant, rescued from abusive treatment in Burma, now paint an amazing self portrait. You'll be amazed at how his talent unfolds.

So touched by their horrific backgrounds and loving personalities, ExoticWorldGifts.com now supports, "Starving Elephant Artisans" by selling their paintings so they can continue to have a new life in Thailand.

Restaurant Review. Next Time You're in Denver...

try TOAST!

Dave, who is not a foodie, loves the way Westword food critic Jason Sheehan writes (he happens to be up for this year's James Beard award). When Dave pointed out this article, I knew I had to someday try Toast.

I LOVE pancakes. I consider myself a connoisseur. I know what they should be. But what they could be--after this morning, I intend to seek out many more pancake experiences.

First of all--a shout-out to Carrie and the McDowells who directed us to Lulu's in Brooklyn for the most fabulous pancakes in that city. Those were definitely eye-opening.

We had driven by yesterday when I yelled (so he said) to Dave that we still need to try Toast. We read the review in January, for Pete's sake!

This morning, my wonderful husband surprised me when I stuck my face in his and begged for something to get me out of bed at 10am. He said, "We could go to Toast..." I was pretty much dressed and ready to go in even LESS than my usual 5 minutes.

It's a ways away, but so worth it. After scanning the menu, Dave spotted before I did my obvious choice: the Pancake Flight.

The platter features "four stacks of pancakes, sampling each of our three signature flavors and the pancake of the month!" Which might sound daunting (esp. when the waitress assured me NO ONE ever finishes it), but it came out on a 4 x 10 rectangle plate and the "stacks of pancakes" were only 2 dollar-sized pancakes for each type.

I need to interject I am not a big fan of flavored pancakes. Pancakes plain are good enough for me. If given a stack of 3, I will eat the first two plain (okay, with butter) and finally add a touch of syrup to the third.

The varieties of pancakes this morning were:

Lemon Blueberry Buttermilk Pancakes. "Gingersnap cookie crusted pancakes with lemon zest, blueberries, and topped with blueberries and fresh whipped cream." If "lemon zest" and "fresh whipped cream" didn't give it away, these were DELIGHTFUL.

Bananas Foster Pancakes. "Banana and pecan pancakes topped with fosters sauce, bananas and pecans. Served with fresh whipped cream." Now that I read it, that doesn't come CLOSE to doing these pancakes justice. It tasted like a cloud of homemade banana pudding with just a hint of toffee crunch and caramel sauce on top.

Strawberry Banana Cheesecake Pancakes. Are you getting a stomach ache reading this? They really were not overwhelming. They were pancakes first, flavors second. Which I appreciated. I also declared to our waitress seven different times I was definitely going to finish all of them. And asked if I would get a free t shirt if I did. (Answer: No.) "Graham cracker crusted strawberry banana flapjacks (there's my synonym!) topped with warm cream cheese sauce, strawberries, and finished with strawberry coulis and fresh whipped cream." Again: I'd describe them as pancakes first, strawberry-banana cheesecake second.

And finally: (are you ready??) Oreo Cookie Pancakes. "Oreo cookie crusted flapjacks, with vanilla marshmallow fluff and hot fudge (say it with me: ) topped with fresh whipped cream."

Unfortunately, after the first two bites, I knew I had to be done. Otherwise I knew I'd feel stretch marks breaking out on my internal organs. Not enough to take home (and I hate soggy Oreos--kudos to Toast for keeping the ones on my pancakes fresh and crisp!), so I had to sneak out with my tail between my legs. Dave said he was still proud of me. (He had the Big Breakfast and said it was "perfect". And raved about the bacon. Which I kept having to have a bite of to "cut the sweetness". And he let me. Even though it was his favorite. Sometimes, he really is amazing.)

So. If that wasn't enough to tempt you to fly to Denver JUST to eat at Toast, they also had "Crab Cake Benedict" on the menu. (And a bunch of sandwiches on the other side, but REALLY...)

Oh, this game of politics

I think a big part of why I find politics so interesting is because of the take on the Big Game by shows like The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Don't you?? Also, do only liberals watch these shows? Just curious.

Is it my imagination, or could D (or P, but he's always "too busy") have been the screen writer on EdWords?

Madonna Reference

It's that time again...

The Secretary just put on her Afternoon Perfume. She puts it on in the bathroom, which has a fan, and is approximately 35 feet and around 2 corners from my office.

Nevertheless, it always meanders down here and invades my office. My tiny, hot office. It makes me claustrophobic and I am feeling a bit nauseous.

It's a nice idea (from someone who thought she was getting away with not wearing deodorant for a while only to find she was not, in fact, getting away with it), but LIGHTEN UP! Why don't perfume bottles come with directions?

It probably is a nice perfume when worn in moderation. Right now, however, it strikes me like something trying too hard to cover up something ELSE.

I am tempted to say something. Maybe: "Whoa! Did you spill perfume?!" Or, "What I like to do is spray one mist and walk into it. It's more subtle that way." Or perhaps, "I'm SO SORRY, but I have allergies and I need you to stop wearing so much perfume." Or, I could just find another job since I am so unhappy with this one that the Secretary's excessive perfume sends me into a tizzy.

Wilde Happenings

On Saturday night, P and I went out with Derek and his friends to celebrate Derek's birthday. Derek is P's childhood friend who also happens to live in Chicago.

We met at Wilde Bar & Restaurant. It was a really nice place. We sat by a roaring fire sipping our drinks while we waited for a table. The food was incredible. I had a chipotle turkey burger, and P had the rosemary roasted garlic chicken. They also brought Derek a fab dessert: Guiness chocolate cake. Derek's friends were lovely company.

THEN our check came. *ominous music* I was paying with a check card, along with two other people. There was a large pile of cash. Two of the cards made it back to the table. Mine did not. My receipt made it, though. We immediately notified the waiter. Turns out THEY LOST MY CARD ON THE WAY BACK FROM THE CASH REGISTER! It was literally twenty feet from our table. They pulled out flashlights and everything. I was enraged, as was everyone else. He took my name and number so he could get in contact with me later, and that's ALL he did. No free food, no real apology, nothing.

So, I cancelled my card when I got outside. The operator said, "They LOST your card?!". Yes, Ms. Operator, they did. I use that check card for everything. As I'm sure most of you know, I never carry cash. I'm still waiting for my replacement. The good news is, I got a call about an hour later saying they'd found my card. It was under someone else's table. I can only assume he was so animated when swiping my card that it flew out of his hand. Too bad I'd already cancelled it.

Bus Etiquette?

As I've mentioned several times now, I take the bus to work. I get on at the third stop, and get off very close to the end of the line. That means I always get a seat.

This morning, I heard a man in a burgundy blazer loudly complaining to a young girl that got on at his stop how "rude" people who do not let a "lady" sit down are. I'm curious how our readers feel about this. I took offense. A "lady"?! Meaning this 26 year old young woman was so fragile and weak that a man should immediately offer up his seat to her? I will give my seat to (1) an old person, (2) an injured person, (3) a disabled person or (4) someone pregnant or having small children. I will not simply stand so that a perfectly healthy woman can sit her ass down where I was. And why should I? Didn't women work incredibly hard for the same rights as the "menfolk"? Aren't there STILL disparities in how much women are paid compared to men? And couldn't this mentality that women be offered the seats of men because they have boobs contribute to sexism in general?

I should point out that "Ron Burgundy" was also loudly talking on his cell phone at one point during our trip. Talk about rude.

Album of the year

Cole has been having trouble getting his MySpace page up and running (he's not as tech-savvy as Sheila although she isn't that great either). He wants the space to promote his new album. So, being the gracious guy that I am, I let him have some space on our blog to tell you all about it. (I think he was a little jealous that Sheila had a post and he didn't.)

"Album of the year. Dat's [sic] what they [sic] be sayin' [sic] at da [oh, you get the idea...] next MTV VMAs and da Grammys and da Country Music Awards and da American Music Awards and da Billboard Music Awards and da MTV Europe Awards. You want a album produce by Timberland? [sic...I can't let you think that I don't know it's Timbaland]...I got dat shit! You want dat guy JT? Check out my track "Sexxy Crack"! Ladonna? [he means Madonna...he's stupid...] She's on there too wit my hot mess single "Me Against Ladonna". Buy dis now on iTune, AmazonMP3.com, Napster and guys can also send you a signed copy if you send me $99.95 plus S&H. Dat's hot!!!!!!!!!!"

1. Fart Lady 3:43
2. Sexxy Crack (feat. Justin Timberlake, Timbaland) 4:54
3. Me Against Ladonna (feat. Madonna) 5:30
4. Everybody Look At Me (Guyeater) (feat. Nelly Furtado) 12:30
5. What Da Hell Dat Noize? (Radio Edit) 2:20
6. I Hate Dat Bitch Sheila (feat. Kanye West, Andre 3000) 3:45
7. Do You Realize? (How F'in Hungry I am) 5:44
8. Get Offa My Ass (feat. Mick Jagger) 4:30
9. Stupid Monkey Head (Under The Bed) 185:43
10. Fart Lady (Victor Calderone Club Dub) 7:40
11. Fart Lady (DJ Sheila D Techno-Bass-Jungle-Rave Mix) 8:01
12. Fart Lady (Daft Punk's Sickest Smell Mix) 5:40
13. What Da Hell Dat Noize (Long Version) 6:30
14. Sexxy Crack (Timbaland's Litterbox Journey Mix) 7:02*
15. I Hate Dat Bitch Sheila (Stupid Bitch Mix) 6:44**

*Bonus track with purchase of autographed copy

**Available only on Japanese version

You decide...

GLASSES...

...OR CONTACTS?

I'm a Disgusting Pig, Part Deux

I was just cleaning up my office a bit (it IS, after all, the end of the week!) when I discovered the oatmeal I made earlier this week and didn't finish, perched atop my computer tower under my desk.

This is how I make oatmeal at work: 1/2 c frozen blueberries, 1/2 c. rolled oats, 1 c. milk, microwave on high 2 min, add 1/2 c. All Bran and 1/4 c. walnuts. After a week, this is what it looked like:








Only with a spoon stuck in it.


I scraped it into the trash and put the bowl in the dishwasher, but now my office smells of spoilt milk. I hope no one notices.

And I'm a lawyer!

Just Because

I wanted to see a happier image on the blog since I check it quite frequently.

I got a new 'do!*


*okay, I don't have a picture of me YET. For those of you who don't know what I look like, the fact that my sunglasses are being held hostage should have tipped you off that that's not me.

Ew! And I just realized the hand on her thigh may or may not be that of Tom Cruise! Although, oftentimes Dave holds me in the car like that. He's big into my safety.

Riveting Photo Essay from Slate

The photograph that captured Boston's busing crisis: How it was taken, and why it still matters.

By Louis P. Masur

Also,

Do a Google image search for "limbo".  Thanks to J for that tip!

Dear Clarkson Philanthropy Office,

My name is D, BS Chemical Engineering '01.  I'm writing to let you know that I plan never to answer your calls asking for money, so please stop calling.  I have caller ID, and you've tried to contact me something like 30 times now.  And remember last time you got me to pledge?  You had to send me three reminders before I bothered to send my check.  Who needs all that hassle?  And, as I'm sure your financial records will show, I did pay $50 (the exact amount of my incredibly late last pledge) so that I could watch Clarkson hockey games on the internets this year.  That, my friends, is all you're getting out of me.  I had a great time at Clarkson, don't get me wrong, but I'm still paying off my loans!  Give a guy a break.  As soon as my loans are repaid, I will gladly give more than my annual $50.  Oh, and if you decide to go back to FREE hockey video, I'll send my usual pledge posthaste!  

Thank you for your urgent attention to these matters,

D

Opt Out of Receiving Catalogs

I kick myself everytime I get ANOTHER catalog in the mail. So today I FINALLY remembered to go to Catalog Choice to opt out of receiving so many. FYI, it helps to have the customer # on the catalog itself (but you can apparently do it by name of company as well).

I also just recently (again: kicking myself) opted out of getting all three professional magazines at work in print. They are all online! And, as if you didn't know, I am much more likely to view them online than I am in print.

Planet Earth: Now owned by Google

I'm pretty sure Google is on its way to trying to take over everything, but I DO think this is pretty cool. It's a step up from the CTA's own transit software, THAT'S for sure. This is for anyone that might be thinking of visiting us in the near future (I'm talkin' to YOU, family).

Also, now I have even MORE of a reason to get an iphone. I can google map my way around Chicago on the CTA! That and I'd be able to blog on the go.

All Aboard the Funky Train!

IKEA has decorated a train in Kobe, Japan, to celebrate the opening of a new store. I will keep my ears open to word of a funky fresh Light Rail.
Love. IKEA.

We're gonna have to sweeten this blog. That's a showbiz term for "add sugar to"

So I assume you all have heard Mitch Hedberg. But my iGoogle Quote of the Day just reminded me how very funny he is.

I didn't go to college but if I did, I would've taken all my tests at a restaurant "'cause the customer's always right."

I like escalators because an escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You'll never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs". Sorry for the convenience. We apologize that you can still get up there.

When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy so they start a waiting list, they say, "DuFresnes, party of two, table ready for DuFresnes, party of two." And if no one answers they'll say the name again: "DuFresnes, party of two." But then if no one answers, they'll move on to the next name. "Bush, party of three." Yeah, but what happened to the DuFresnes!? No one seems to care! Who can eat at a time like this!? People are missing. You people are selfish. The DuFresnes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct tape over their mouths. And they're hungry. That's a double whammy. We need help. "Bush, search party of three. You can eat once you find the DuFresnes."

Blast from the past

This is one of the first known pictures taken of P. D. and J. (actually, it's D. P. and J. -- we really need to get organized, don't we?). Truth be told, it was incredibly difficult to find a picture of the three of us together! And this is back when P and I didn't drink beer, as you can see. Don't we look YOUNG?! What HAPPENED to P and J? HA!

I have a shiny dime for anyone who can tell me WHERE the above photo is taken. And no, P and J, you can't guess!

Spring is Here!

The climate in Denver, while generally mild compared to the mountains to the west and the plains further east, can be very unpredictable. Measurable amounts of snow have fallen in Denver as late as May and as early as September.



Here is a picture of my office building on a nice, lovely fall day.

On Saturday last, it was 72 degrees. Today, this: ¹

Sheila's testimonial

A few weeks ago, Sheila insisted that we get her a Jitterbug, the Senior Cell Phone. After a few weeks of use, she loved it so much that she called the company and asked if she could provide a testimonial. Here is a preview of that testimonial (please note that she refers to D and I as "guys"):

"Technology scares me. When guy's cell phone would vibrate or ring or do anything, I would run the other way and hide under the table. I tried to use regular cell phones but I could never dial they [sic] number with those too-small keys. I also inadvertently sent text messages to Olde Country Buffet when I was simply trying to call them to find out what the daily special was. And I have several pictures of my crotch because I accidentally used they [sic] camera function on guy's cell phone while trying to call for the time and temperature. And I can't even tell you how many times guys have yelled at me for a high cell phone bill because I accidentally accessed the internets [sic] while trying to phone in refills to Walgreens.

"That's why guys got me a Jitterbug. I love my new Jitterbug! They [sic] keys are big enough for me to dial without having to use my dialing stick [a pencil]. There are no complicated, new-fangled features like text message, a camera or the internets. And I can finally read the number that I'm dialing before I make a call so that I know it's Sizzler and not a gay phone sex line. And I've gotten to know Candy, my favorite operator with Jitterbug who helps me place calls when I don't know the number. She even helped me build my contact list! With guy's cell phone, I could never figure that out! And I can't even tell you how many times the beaded lanyard has prevented me from dropping my jitterbug in the litterbox.

"THANKS, JITTERBUG!"

You know you're a nerd when...

The fourth and final season of Battlestar Galactica (or BSG to devotees) premiered last night. It's by far my favorite show on TV and I'll be very sad when it's over. And I don't actually think liking the show is that nerdy. If most people gave it a chance, I think they'd like it. It's really well written, has very timely themes and the sci-fi stuff is just the icing on the cake. But it does make me think that if people could glimpse into my life, they would laugh hysterically, pointing figures at me while screaming, "NERD!!!" Here are a few reasons why:

1. I spent an hour in line at work waiting to meet Lucy Lawless. Yes, Lucy Lawless...Xena: Warrior Princess. But more importantly, she plays D'Anna Biers, one of the cylons on BSG. If you want proof that I met her, see the picture to the right.

2. As a pre-teen / teenager, I attended several Star Trek conventions. Yes, I was THAT nerdy. And I freely admit that I would still watch TNG (the Next Generation...duh!) if I saw that it was on (ok, I'll admit it...I have a couple of seasons on DVD...and several of the movies).

3. Comics are considered a nerdy thing, right? Well, that was me too! I still have a very large collection of comic books sitting in storage in Omaha. But...wait for it...it's not just comic books...it's all sorts of comic-related paraphernalia...action figures (some still in their original packaging...I was a collector!), trading cards, books, price guides. And it's all wrapped in plastic, sealed to preserve their condition.

4. We own not one...not two...but three video gaming systems. A PS3, a Wii and a DS (2 of those, actually...D and I both have one).

5. Several years ago, my friend Art and I dressed in costume for a Madonna party at our favorite dance club (the historic Tracks 2000 in Denver...now replaced by condos...reminds of a song I once wrote about Denver and...you guessed it...condos). We were dressed as her dancers did in the opening number of her Drowned World tour. Gas masks and all. See left (that's me with the gas mask). If there is such a thing as a gay nerd, I've got that down.

6. I am a pharmacist...specialized in infectious diseases. 'Nuff said.

There's probably more that people would tell me are nerdish tendencies but I submit to you that I am a hip nerd (and by saying that, I am not...). At least I don't dress like a freak (see earlier post including a picture of that guy from Project Runway).

Randi Rhodes Suspended for Calling Ferraro and Clinton Wh*res

I have mixed feelings about this and wonder what our readers think? (Poll at right)

Air America Host Randi Rhodes Suspended For Calling Hillary A "Big F*cking Whore"

Air America host Randi Rhodes called both Geraldine Ferraro and Hillary Clinton "whores" in a recent appearance, seen below. Rhodes, who hosts a weekday radio show on Air America, said to the cheering crowd, "What a whore Geraldine Ferraro is! She's such a fucking whore!" She then proceeded to say, "Hillary is a big fucking whore, too" to a mixed audience reaction. "You know why she's a big fucking whore? Because her deal is always, 'Read the fine print, asshole!'"

I don't know. I mean, isn't Randi Rhodes employed as someone who gives her frank and sometimes offensive opinion? Then I wonder if I am not appreciating how the term might be sexist (not that Rhodes is sexist--she's not. But maybe she is not using the term as the general public might hear it.)? I wonder if I'd be super-sensitive if someone said something derrogatory about Obama's race. Then again, men can be whores, too. Just look at McCain BA-DUMP-BUMP!

Madonna's New Video Debuts

Since the other 2 are busy, I will post this on their behalf.


If dancing can save the world, then Madonna and Justin Timberlake may as well be superheroes: The two join forces in the feisty, special effects-laden video for the Madonna's latest single, "4 Minutes." As a giant clock offers an ominous four-minute countdown, the two cavort on cars, down a grocery checkout counter and even in a bedroom as a giant prism-like effect encroaches. The singers trade verses, dance-moves and even faux kisses in the clip. Things get hotter as time continues to fly – and the they even share a small striptease and a liplock. Just call it sexy sci-fi! Look for a cameo from Timbaland, who also appears on the song. Bottom line: We're not exactly sure what the two are battling – but never has the apocalypse seemed hipper.

Watch a Clip of the Video

(Everything on You Tube said "This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Warner Music Group". Boo. Also, I am too lazy to look up and see if WBMG has it posted on THEIR site...)

We Can Solve It

This was sent to us by special contributor: Jill!

Join the We Can Solve It Campaign

Former Vice President Al Gore is launching a $300 million, bipartisan campaign to try to push climate change higher on the nation's political agenda.

The three-year campaign by the Alliance for Climate Protection will begin Wednesday with network television advertising that will include "American Idol" and other non-traditional shows that reach a non-news audience.

The debut ad, "Anthem," is posted here.

Pat Robertson and Al Sharpton just filmed an ad for the We Campaign, sitting on a couch on the beach. In the ad, now being produced, they say that while they may not agree on many things, they do agree that they have to work to save the planet.

A future couple in the "strange bedfellows" or "unlikely alliances" spots will be recorded soon: Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Republican former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.

The campaign aims to harness the growing awareness of the climate crisis and turn it into one of the top issues on which voters make decisions.

The campaign is being paid for in part with profits from Gore's global-warming book and movie, "An Inconvenient Truth," and with the prize money from his share of the Nobel Peace Prize, which he matched.

The alliance is also raising money online through a new website, WeCanSolveIt.org.

Beast of Burden

Remember back in the day when people used to wash their own dishes?  It's TRUE, they DID!  Back before dishwashers.  Well, I just did for olde time's sake.  Really, I did it because the dishwasher was full and there were too many dishes to just leave.  Nothing makes me more angry than walking into the kitchen and seeing a sink full of dirty dishes (J and Dave).  Now my hands are all dishpanny, and I got soap suds on my sweater.  Why did it take so long for someone to INVENT the dishwasher!?

Work.

Oy vey. I'm REALLY busy this week, hence my lack of blog posts. I apologize to all of my fans. I will do my best to post something witty, timely and amusing very soon.

The End is Not the Point

Dave showed me this Trey Parker/Matt Stone video last night based on a talk given by Alan Watts (philosopher, writer, speaker, and student of comparative religion. He was best known as an interpreter and popularizer of Asian philosophies for a Western audience.)

Wayward Sunglasses

Dear P and D,

I still haven't received my sunglasses--the ones I left when I visited? Do you think something is wrong at the post office? D, would you be so kind as to inquire of your mother?

Okay, I KNOW you haven't sent them, but why not? You know that I rarely buy name-brand accessories... I NEED THEM! Desperately!

Are you holding them hostage until I upgrade my coat, purse and shoes (and socks)? I'm in the process of doing so. Promise. But, really, it's getting real sunny here and I am squinting so much, it's exacerbating my crow's feet.

Also, have you seen my jeans?

Career Watch: J

Ah, yes, it's the first of the month which means my monthly hours are due. And, like always, they suck.

For the lay people, lawyers typically bill their clients for their time via the firm. So, every month, I report how much time I spent working on each client. My goal is to bill 5 hours per day. I averaged 3 this month. The thing is, in ANY other firm, I would have to bill closer to 8 per day.

The problem, to me, is that I am not busy enough. My boss will retort that I still have stuff to do. Which is true. But it's the never-ending loose-ends type of stuff. Stuff that if all the planets aligned and everyone involved cooperated, would take me 10 minutes to finish.

A more ambitious sort would no doubt look into acquiring new clients of her own. I have two major problems with this: 1. I am not the ambitious sort. No, I am, it's just that I have never been a good salesperson and HATE having to sell myself and 2. there's not really much incentive unless I want to be partner someday. New clients bring in new money to the firm, but not to me directly. So, I would make the FIRM more money which is good and all, but... I have hobbies to keep up with.

Which brings me to the blog. Some (like my boss, if he knew) would argue I spend too much time on email, the internet and this blog which is distracting me from work. I believe that, as part of the MTV generation, I NEED the distraction. I can't remember the last time I felt productive and was only focused on one thing. Nope. If I am productive, I perform several tasks at once. That way, it feels like I am not tied to one project (opression!) and my short attention span is used to its potential.

So. Now I am trying to figure out what to do. I will have The Talk with my boss (trying to explain I need more work--my paltry hours this month do not reflect a lack of willingness to work on my part!), but I think I need to be proactive in solving this problem. Perhaps I should try to write a novel? Find a part-time job I can do from work and potentially bill through work? Or, find a new job/career altogether?

I'll keep you posted.