drum roll please...

And now this is really, truly actually the 100th post!!!!

IN YOUR FACE, LEON!

Funny story...J gets one of her nicknames from the word that comes up in T9word for text messaging on a cell phone...Leon instead of Jenn.

Has anyone noticed that I've been posting nonsense just to get us to the 100th post? BOOYA!

OVER IT!

So sorry to be political but I just have to say to Hillary, Obama and the Democratic Party:

I'M OVER IT!!

Actually, I should be directing some of this at the media. But this primary season has gone on way too long. And if I have to hear one more of these shetbags talk about Reverend Wright or something else that DOESN'T MATTER I am going to scream. This primary is damaging the party and its chances of winning back the presidency. So I beg you...Hillary...just DROP OUT. Thank you. It should now be an easy decision...superdelegate Cole has backed your opponent.

SHOES

So here's another thing I stole from Liam Sullivan's blog. This is hilarious and definitely in the same vein of I Can Has Cheezburger.

i'm gonna betch slap you!

So D and I went with some friends to see Margaret Cho this weekend. She was fabulously funny as usual. But the guy that opened for her, Liam Sullivan, is pretty funny. His character Kelly is hilarious. Here's an example:

Superdelegate Revealed

In a political stunner, Cole Erik O'Donnell has just revealed himself to be one of the fabled Democratic Party superdelegates!  C.E.O., President of the Cook County Cats for Change, has thrown his support behind Democratic front-runner Barack Obama.  O'Donnell refused to comment on his decision, but his sister, Sheila Beyoncé Solange Knowles Dytri, held a press conference to announce her support for George W. Bush's third term.  It is unclear what Dytri's support will mean considering a third term is unconstitutional, and considering she has absolutely no say in the matter.  We will have more on this breaking story as it unfolds.

Photo Caption: Cole Erik O'Donnell in his office at the Cook County Cats for Change

This blog best on Mac

Not to disappoint all you Windows kids out there, but the blog is super crisp and a pleasure to read on my Mac.  When I am at work and blogging (if my boss is reading this, I'm kidding!), it's like I have Vaseline on my screen.  This is why I need an iphone.  I want to blog on the go!  I'm positive I would blog way more than I do now, and my iphone would work seamlessly on my Mac.  If I saw a disgusting person on the bus, I could take their picture and blog something awful about them in a span of five minutes!  

This is where you come in, Apple.  We'd love you to sponsor our blog.  Think of the opportunities!  We'd let you use us in your commercials, for starters.  You could use the blogging craze as a justification for Americans to try the iphone.  AND you could set our commercial to one of Madonna's Hard Candy songs (in stores Tuesday!) -- I'd suggest "Beat Goes On" since the commercial would likely have a travelin' theme.  It really would be a win-win for all of us -- Apple, Madonna, AND this blog.  We'd move products off the shelves, and people would learn to love P. D. and J.  And Madonna!  Honey!  You could give us free tickets to your concerts and we could blog live from the concert.  This just gets better and better, doesn't it?  

As I'm sure Apple execs reading this will need to know where to begin, please send one of us an email.  We'll provide our mailing addresses so that you can send our FREE iphones, and we'll get this party started.  

Anxiously awaiting your e,

P. D. and J.

How To

One of my favorite additions to my iGoogle page is wikiHow. You can find all SORTS of helpful information. Like, How to Draw Graffiti Names, or How to Win a Street Fight. While I have never tried those out, they might come in handy some day should I be initiated into a gang. (What I picture: some set of circumstances by which I find myself in an inner city and need the help of some gang members in order to continue my mission. But they refuse to help me until I prove myself. Thus, the initiation. Scene ends with said gang members thinking I am cool.)
But others I HAVE found helpful: How to Open a Door With a Credit Card, How to Exercise Your Eyes, How to Write a Rap Song, How to Run up a Wall and Flip. Not that any of those went especially well, but yet another reason I love the internet: it makes me think my potential is unlimited.

Distribution of Me

This is not meant as a competing post to P's, but I wanted to include the graphic.  This is a distribution of D's across the United States.  And it's based on "listings", so we know there are more.  I'm not listed currently, so add "one" to Illinois!

This was also one my faves.

Then, there's always this one.  But generally speaking, I only get the "Are you Ozzy and

 Harriet's son" crap from supermarket check-out ladies.  

Am I really that unique?

Have you ever googled yourself? I just did (can you tell I'm busy at work today?) and it came back with 125,000 hits (D would get A LOT MORE...I'm just saying...trying to make myself feel better). Now that doesn't necessarily mean that there are 125,000 other P's out there but still...that's a lot.

Also, those that share my moniker are BORING. And on the whole nerdy and unattractive (try an images.google.com search of your name too...scary!). Lots of men of the cloth as well. Why is that?

LinkedIn also gives another indication of just how boring my kind are: project manager (dig at someone I know), director of pricing (yawn), self-employed (smokes weed), underwriting officer (sounds so official...officially boring!), accountant (taped glasses), regional sales manager (isn't that like...everyone on the Office?), independent professional (smokes weed AND crack), credit risk and insolvency administrator (I just may be at risk of becoming insolvent right now...huh?).

So I ask all of our readers to search themselves on the internets. What you find may scare you!

(And now I've officially contributed to this blog...I am busy!)

Recycling: Now at Work!

Today they announced a new recycling initiative at work! I promptly filled up the new bin in our area with all the crap I've been meaning to take home. But, it's about freakin' time, work!

So, this wasn't much of a post, but it's something, right? Enough to keep the "D" in the name, I hope!

100TH POST!

And it's MINE, ALL MINE.

Happy Earth Day!

So my new focus on the green front is personal care. I found this great website:



The website has tons on information on green living.

Specifically, the True Beauty section has recipes for face cleansers and moisturizers (olive oil!), body scrubs, etc. So simple and cheap! And good for the environment. I can't imagine the waste product generated by packaging the face lotion I normally use. I slathered on some olive oil this morning and was surprised--it doesn't feel greasy at all! I will keep you posted on my progress in this area.

Heartwarming

Watch this elephant, rescued from abusive treatment in Burma, now paint an amazing self portrait. You'll be amazed at how his talent unfolds.

So touched by their horrific backgrounds and loving personalities, ExoticWorldGifts.com now supports, "Starving Elephant Artisans" by selling their paintings so they can continue to have a new life in Thailand.

Restaurant Review. Next Time You're in Denver...

try TOAST!

Dave, who is not a foodie, loves the way Westword food critic Jason Sheehan writes (he happens to be up for this year's James Beard award). When Dave pointed out this article, I knew I had to someday try Toast.

I LOVE pancakes. I consider myself a connoisseur. I know what they should be. But what they could be--after this morning, I intend to seek out many more pancake experiences.

First of all--a shout-out to Carrie and the McDowells who directed us to Lulu's in Brooklyn for the most fabulous pancakes in that city. Those were definitely eye-opening.

We had driven by yesterday when I yelled (so he said) to Dave that we still need to try Toast. We read the review in January, for Pete's sake!

This morning, my wonderful husband surprised me when I stuck my face in his and begged for something to get me out of bed at 10am. He said, "We could go to Toast..." I was pretty much dressed and ready to go in even LESS than my usual 5 minutes.

It's a ways away, but so worth it. After scanning the menu, Dave spotted before I did my obvious choice: the Pancake Flight.

The platter features "four stacks of pancakes, sampling each of our three signature flavors and the pancake of the month!" Which might sound daunting (esp. when the waitress assured me NO ONE ever finishes it), but it came out on a 4 x 10 rectangle plate and the "stacks of pancakes" were only 2 dollar-sized pancakes for each type.

I need to interject I am not a big fan of flavored pancakes. Pancakes plain are good enough for me. If given a stack of 3, I will eat the first two plain (okay, with butter) and finally add a touch of syrup to the third.

The varieties of pancakes this morning were:

Lemon Blueberry Buttermilk Pancakes. "Gingersnap cookie crusted pancakes with lemon zest, blueberries, and topped with blueberries and fresh whipped cream." If "lemon zest" and "fresh whipped cream" didn't give it away, these were DELIGHTFUL.

Bananas Foster Pancakes. "Banana and pecan pancakes topped with fosters sauce, bananas and pecans. Served with fresh whipped cream." Now that I read it, that doesn't come CLOSE to doing these pancakes justice. It tasted like a cloud of homemade banana pudding with just a hint of toffee crunch and caramel sauce on top.

Strawberry Banana Cheesecake Pancakes. Are you getting a stomach ache reading this? They really were not overwhelming. They were pancakes first, flavors second. Which I appreciated. I also declared to our waitress seven different times I was definitely going to finish all of them. And asked if I would get a free t shirt if I did. (Answer: No.) "Graham cracker crusted strawberry banana flapjacks (there's my synonym!) topped with warm cream cheese sauce, strawberries, and finished with strawberry coulis and fresh whipped cream." Again: I'd describe them as pancakes first, strawberry-banana cheesecake second.

And finally: (are you ready??) Oreo Cookie Pancakes. "Oreo cookie crusted flapjacks, with vanilla marshmallow fluff and hot fudge (say it with me: ) topped with fresh whipped cream."

Unfortunately, after the first two bites, I knew I had to be done. Otherwise I knew I'd feel stretch marks breaking out on my internal organs. Not enough to take home (and I hate soggy Oreos--kudos to Toast for keeping the ones on my pancakes fresh and crisp!), so I had to sneak out with my tail between my legs. Dave said he was still proud of me. (He had the Big Breakfast and said it was "perfect". And raved about the bacon. Which I kept having to have a bite of to "cut the sweetness". And he let me. Even though it was his favorite. Sometimes, he really is amazing.)

So. If that wasn't enough to tempt you to fly to Denver JUST to eat at Toast, they also had "Crab Cake Benedict" on the menu. (And a bunch of sandwiches on the other side, but REALLY...)

Oh, this game of politics

I think a big part of why I find politics so interesting is because of the take on the Big Game by shows like The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Don't you?? Also, do only liberals watch these shows? Just curious.

Is it my imagination, or could D (or P, but he's always "too busy") have been the screen writer on EdWords?

Madonna Reference

It's that time again...

The Secretary just put on her Afternoon Perfume. She puts it on in the bathroom, which has a fan, and is approximately 35 feet and around 2 corners from my office.

Nevertheless, it always meanders down here and invades my office. My tiny, hot office. It makes me claustrophobic and I am feeling a bit nauseous.

It's a nice idea (from someone who thought she was getting away with not wearing deodorant for a while only to find she was not, in fact, getting away with it), but LIGHTEN UP! Why don't perfume bottles come with directions?

It probably is a nice perfume when worn in moderation. Right now, however, it strikes me like something trying too hard to cover up something ELSE.

I am tempted to say something. Maybe: "Whoa! Did you spill perfume?!" Or, "What I like to do is spray one mist and walk into it. It's more subtle that way." Or perhaps, "I'm SO SORRY, but I have allergies and I need you to stop wearing so much perfume." Or, I could just find another job since I am so unhappy with this one that the Secretary's excessive perfume sends me into a tizzy.

Wilde Happenings

On Saturday night, P and I went out with Derek and his friends to celebrate Derek's birthday. Derek is P's childhood friend who also happens to live in Chicago.

We met at Wilde Bar & Restaurant. It was a really nice place. We sat by a roaring fire sipping our drinks while we waited for a table. The food was incredible. I had a chipotle turkey burger, and P had the rosemary roasted garlic chicken. They also brought Derek a fab dessert: Guiness chocolate cake. Derek's friends were lovely company.

THEN our check came. *ominous music* I was paying with a check card, along with two other people. There was a large pile of cash. Two of the cards made it back to the table. Mine did not. My receipt made it, though. We immediately notified the waiter. Turns out THEY LOST MY CARD ON THE WAY BACK FROM THE CASH REGISTER! It was literally twenty feet from our table. They pulled out flashlights and everything. I was enraged, as was everyone else. He took my name and number so he could get in contact with me later, and that's ALL he did. No free food, no real apology, nothing.

So, I cancelled my card when I got outside. The operator said, "They LOST your card?!". Yes, Ms. Operator, they did. I use that check card for everything. As I'm sure most of you know, I never carry cash. I'm still waiting for my replacement. The good news is, I got a call about an hour later saying they'd found my card. It was under someone else's table. I can only assume he was so animated when swiping my card that it flew out of his hand. Too bad I'd already cancelled it.

Bus Etiquette?

As I've mentioned several times now, I take the bus to work. I get on at the third stop, and get off very close to the end of the line. That means I always get a seat.

This morning, I heard a man in a burgundy blazer loudly complaining to a young girl that got on at his stop how "rude" people who do not let a "lady" sit down are. I'm curious how our readers feel about this. I took offense. A "lady"?! Meaning this 26 year old young woman was so fragile and weak that a man should immediately offer up his seat to her? I will give my seat to (1) an old person, (2) an injured person, (3) a disabled person or (4) someone pregnant or having small children. I will not simply stand so that a perfectly healthy woman can sit her ass down where I was. And why should I? Didn't women work incredibly hard for the same rights as the "menfolk"? Aren't there STILL disparities in how much women are paid compared to men? And couldn't this mentality that women be offered the seats of men because they have boobs contribute to sexism in general?

I should point out that "Ron Burgundy" was also loudly talking on his cell phone at one point during our trip. Talk about rude.

Album of the year

Cole has been having trouble getting his MySpace page up and running (he's not as tech-savvy as Sheila although she isn't that great either). He wants the space to promote his new album. So, being the gracious guy that I am, I let him have some space on our blog to tell you all about it. (I think he was a little jealous that Sheila had a post and he didn't.)

"Album of the year. Dat's [sic] what they [sic] be sayin' [sic] at da [oh, you get the idea...] next MTV VMAs and da Grammys and da Country Music Awards and da American Music Awards and da Billboard Music Awards and da MTV Europe Awards. You want a album produce by Timberland? [sic...I can't let you think that I don't know it's Timbaland]...I got dat shit! You want dat guy JT? Check out my track "Sexxy Crack"! Ladonna? [he means Madonna...he's stupid...] She's on there too wit my hot mess single "Me Against Ladonna". Buy dis now on iTune, AmazonMP3.com, Napster and guys can also send you a signed copy if you send me $99.95 plus S&H. Dat's hot!!!!!!!!!!"

1. Fart Lady 3:43
2. Sexxy Crack (feat. Justin Timberlake, Timbaland) 4:54
3. Me Against Ladonna (feat. Madonna) 5:30
4. Everybody Look At Me (Guyeater) (feat. Nelly Furtado) 12:30
5. What Da Hell Dat Noize? (Radio Edit) 2:20
6. I Hate Dat Bitch Sheila (feat. Kanye West, Andre 3000) 3:45
7. Do You Realize? (How F'in Hungry I am) 5:44
8. Get Offa My Ass (feat. Mick Jagger) 4:30
9. Stupid Monkey Head (Under The Bed) 185:43
10. Fart Lady (Victor Calderone Club Dub) 7:40
11. Fart Lady (DJ Sheila D Techno-Bass-Jungle-Rave Mix) 8:01
12. Fart Lady (Daft Punk's Sickest Smell Mix) 5:40
13. What Da Hell Dat Noize (Long Version) 6:30
14. Sexxy Crack (Timbaland's Litterbox Journey Mix) 7:02*
15. I Hate Dat Bitch Sheila (Stupid Bitch Mix) 6:44**

*Bonus track with purchase of autographed copy

**Available only on Japanese version

You decide...

GLASSES...

...OR CONTACTS?

I'm a Disgusting Pig, Part Deux

I was just cleaning up my office a bit (it IS, after all, the end of the week!) when I discovered the oatmeal I made earlier this week and didn't finish, perched atop my computer tower under my desk.

This is how I make oatmeal at work: 1/2 c frozen blueberries, 1/2 c. rolled oats, 1 c. milk, microwave on high 2 min, add 1/2 c. All Bran and 1/4 c. walnuts. After a week, this is what it looked like:








Only with a spoon stuck in it.


I scraped it into the trash and put the bowl in the dishwasher, but now my office smells of spoilt milk. I hope no one notices.

And I'm a lawyer!

Just Because

I wanted to see a happier image on the blog since I check it quite frequently.

I got a new 'do!*


*okay, I don't have a picture of me YET. For those of you who don't know what I look like, the fact that my sunglasses are being held hostage should have tipped you off that that's not me.

Ew! And I just realized the hand on her thigh may or may not be that of Tom Cruise! Although, oftentimes Dave holds me in the car like that. He's big into my safety.

Riveting Photo Essay from Slate

The photograph that captured Boston's busing crisis: How it was taken, and why it still matters.

By Louis P. Masur

Also,

Do a Google image search for "limbo".  Thanks to J for that tip!

Dear Clarkson Philanthropy Office,

My name is D, BS Chemical Engineering '01.  I'm writing to let you know that I plan never to answer your calls asking for money, so please stop calling.  I have caller ID, and you've tried to contact me something like 30 times now.  And remember last time you got me to pledge?  You had to send me three reminders before I bothered to send my check.  Who needs all that hassle?  And, as I'm sure your financial records will show, I did pay $50 (the exact amount of my incredibly late last pledge) so that I could watch Clarkson hockey games on the internets this year.  That, my friends, is all you're getting out of me.  I had a great time at Clarkson, don't get me wrong, but I'm still paying off my loans!  Give a guy a break.  As soon as my loans are repaid, I will gladly give more than my annual $50.  Oh, and if you decide to go back to FREE hockey video, I'll send my usual pledge posthaste!  

Thank you for your urgent attention to these matters,

D

Opt Out of Receiving Catalogs

I kick myself everytime I get ANOTHER catalog in the mail. So today I FINALLY remembered to go to Catalog Choice to opt out of receiving so many. FYI, it helps to have the customer # on the catalog itself (but you can apparently do it by name of company as well).

I also just recently (again: kicking myself) opted out of getting all three professional magazines at work in print. They are all online! And, as if you didn't know, I am much more likely to view them online than I am in print.

Planet Earth: Now owned by Google

I'm pretty sure Google is on its way to trying to take over everything, but I DO think this is pretty cool. It's a step up from the CTA's own transit software, THAT'S for sure. This is for anyone that might be thinking of visiting us in the near future (I'm talkin' to YOU, family).

Also, now I have even MORE of a reason to get an iphone. I can google map my way around Chicago on the CTA! That and I'd be able to blog on the go.

All Aboard the Funky Train!

IKEA has decorated a train in Kobe, Japan, to celebrate the opening of a new store. I will keep my ears open to word of a funky fresh Light Rail.
Love. IKEA.

We're gonna have to sweeten this blog. That's a showbiz term for "add sugar to"

So I assume you all have heard Mitch Hedberg. But my iGoogle Quote of the Day just reminded me how very funny he is.

I didn't go to college but if I did, I would've taken all my tests at a restaurant "'cause the customer's always right."

I like escalators because an escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You'll never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs". Sorry for the convenience. We apologize that you can still get up there.

When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy so they start a waiting list, they say, "DuFresnes, party of two, table ready for DuFresnes, party of two." And if no one answers they'll say the name again: "DuFresnes, party of two." But then if no one answers, they'll move on to the next name. "Bush, party of three." Yeah, but what happened to the DuFresnes!? No one seems to care! Who can eat at a time like this!? People are missing. You people are selfish. The DuFresnes are in someone's trunk right now, with duct tape over their mouths. And they're hungry. That's a double whammy. We need help. "Bush, search party of three. You can eat once you find the DuFresnes."

Blast from the past

This is one of the first known pictures taken of P. D. and J. (actually, it's D. P. and J. -- we really need to get organized, don't we?). Truth be told, it was incredibly difficult to find a picture of the three of us together! And this is back when P and I didn't drink beer, as you can see. Don't we look YOUNG?! What HAPPENED to P and J? HA!

I have a shiny dime for anyone who can tell me WHERE the above photo is taken. And no, P and J, you can't guess!

Spring is Here!

The climate in Denver, while generally mild compared to the mountains to the west and the plains further east, can be very unpredictable. Measurable amounts of snow have fallen in Denver as late as May and as early as September.



Here is a picture of my office building on a nice, lovely fall day.

On Saturday last, it was 72 degrees. Today, this: ¹

Sheila's testimonial

A few weeks ago, Sheila insisted that we get her a Jitterbug, the Senior Cell Phone. After a few weeks of use, she loved it so much that she called the company and asked if she could provide a testimonial. Here is a preview of that testimonial (please note that she refers to D and I as "guys"):

"Technology scares me. When guy's cell phone would vibrate or ring or do anything, I would run the other way and hide under the table. I tried to use regular cell phones but I could never dial they [sic] number with those too-small keys. I also inadvertently sent text messages to Olde Country Buffet when I was simply trying to call them to find out what the daily special was. And I have several pictures of my crotch because I accidentally used they [sic] camera function on guy's cell phone while trying to call for the time and temperature. And I can't even tell you how many times guys have yelled at me for a high cell phone bill because I accidentally accessed the internets [sic] while trying to phone in refills to Walgreens.

"That's why guys got me a Jitterbug. I love my new Jitterbug! They [sic] keys are big enough for me to dial without having to use my dialing stick [a pencil]. There are no complicated, new-fangled features like text message, a camera or the internets. And I can finally read the number that I'm dialing before I make a call so that I know it's Sizzler and not a gay phone sex line. And I've gotten to know Candy, my favorite operator with Jitterbug who helps me place calls when I don't know the number. She even helped me build my contact list! With guy's cell phone, I could never figure that out! And I can't even tell you how many times the beaded lanyard has prevented me from dropping my jitterbug in the litterbox.

"THANKS, JITTERBUG!"

You know you're a nerd when...

The fourth and final season of Battlestar Galactica (or BSG to devotees) premiered last night. It's by far my favorite show on TV and I'll be very sad when it's over. And I don't actually think liking the show is that nerdy. If most people gave it a chance, I think they'd like it. It's really well written, has very timely themes and the sci-fi stuff is just the icing on the cake. But it does make me think that if people could glimpse into my life, they would laugh hysterically, pointing figures at me while screaming, "NERD!!!" Here are a few reasons why:

1. I spent an hour in line at work waiting to meet Lucy Lawless. Yes, Lucy Lawless...Xena: Warrior Princess. But more importantly, she plays D'Anna Biers, one of the cylons on BSG. If you want proof that I met her, see the picture to the right.

2. As a pre-teen / teenager, I attended several Star Trek conventions. Yes, I was THAT nerdy. And I freely admit that I would still watch TNG (the Next Generation...duh!) if I saw that it was on (ok, I'll admit it...I have a couple of seasons on DVD...and several of the movies).

3. Comics are considered a nerdy thing, right? Well, that was me too! I still have a very large collection of comic books sitting in storage in Omaha. But...wait for it...it's not just comic books...it's all sorts of comic-related paraphernalia...action figures (some still in their original packaging...I was a collector!), trading cards, books, price guides. And it's all wrapped in plastic, sealed to preserve their condition.

4. We own not one...not two...but three video gaming systems. A PS3, a Wii and a DS (2 of those, actually...D and I both have one).

5. Several years ago, my friend Art and I dressed in costume for a Madonna party at our favorite dance club (the historic Tracks 2000 in Denver...now replaced by condos...reminds of a song I once wrote about Denver and...you guessed it...condos). We were dressed as her dancers did in the opening number of her Drowned World tour. Gas masks and all. See left (that's me with the gas mask). If there is such a thing as a gay nerd, I've got that down.

6. I am a pharmacist...specialized in infectious diseases. 'Nuff said.

There's probably more that people would tell me are nerdish tendencies but I submit to you that I am a hip nerd (and by saying that, I am not...). At least I don't dress like a freak (see earlier post including a picture of that guy from Project Runway).

Randi Rhodes Suspended for Calling Ferraro and Clinton Wh*res

I have mixed feelings about this and wonder what our readers think? (Poll at right)

Air America Host Randi Rhodes Suspended For Calling Hillary A "Big F*cking Whore"

Air America host Randi Rhodes called both Geraldine Ferraro and Hillary Clinton "whores" in a recent appearance, seen below. Rhodes, who hosts a weekday radio show on Air America, said to the cheering crowd, "What a whore Geraldine Ferraro is! She's such a fucking whore!" She then proceeded to say, "Hillary is a big fucking whore, too" to a mixed audience reaction. "You know why she's a big fucking whore? Because her deal is always, 'Read the fine print, asshole!'"

I don't know. I mean, isn't Randi Rhodes employed as someone who gives her frank and sometimes offensive opinion? Then I wonder if I am not appreciating how the term might be sexist (not that Rhodes is sexist--she's not. But maybe she is not using the term as the general public might hear it.)? I wonder if I'd be super-sensitive if someone said something derrogatory about Obama's race. Then again, men can be whores, too. Just look at McCain BA-DUMP-BUMP!

Madonna's New Video Debuts

Since the other 2 are busy, I will post this on their behalf.


If dancing can save the world, then Madonna and Justin Timberlake may as well be superheroes: The two join forces in the feisty, special effects-laden video for the Madonna's latest single, "4 Minutes." As a giant clock offers an ominous four-minute countdown, the two cavort on cars, down a grocery checkout counter and even in a bedroom as a giant prism-like effect encroaches. The singers trade verses, dance-moves and even faux kisses in the clip. Things get hotter as time continues to fly – and the they even share a small striptease and a liplock. Just call it sexy sci-fi! Look for a cameo from Timbaland, who also appears on the song. Bottom line: We're not exactly sure what the two are battling – but never has the apocalypse seemed hipper.

Watch a Clip of the Video

(Everything on You Tube said "This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Warner Music Group". Boo. Also, I am too lazy to look up and see if WBMG has it posted on THEIR site...)

We Can Solve It

This was sent to us by special contributor: Jill!

Join the We Can Solve It Campaign

Former Vice President Al Gore is launching a $300 million, bipartisan campaign to try to push climate change higher on the nation's political agenda.

The three-year campaign by the Alliance for Climate Protection will begin Wednesday with network television advertising that will include "American Idol" and other non-traditional shows that reach a non-news audience.

The debut ad, "Anthem," is posted here.

Pat Robertson and Al Sharpton just filmed an ad for the We Campaign, sitting on a couch on the beach. In the ad, now being produced, they say that while they may not agree on many things, they do agree that they have to work to save the planet.

A future couple in the "strange bedfellows" or "unlikely alliances" spots will be recorded soon: Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Republican former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.

The campaign aims to harness the growing awareness of the climate crisis and turn it into one of the top issues on which voters make decisions.

The campaign is being paid for in part with profits from Gore's global-warming book and movie, "An Inconvenient Truth," and with the prize money from his share of the Nobel Peace Prize, which he matched.

The alliance is also raising money online through a new website, WeCanSolveIt.org.

Beast of Burden

Remember back in the day when people used to wash their own dishes?  It's TRUE, they DID!  Back before dishwashers.  Well, I just did for olde time's sake.  Really, I did it because the dishwasher was full and there were too many dishes to just leave.  Nothing makes me more angry than walking into the kitchen and seeing a sink full of dirty dishes (J and Dave).  Now my hands are all dishpanny, and I got soap suds on my sweater.  Why did it take so long for someone to INVENT the dishwasher!?

Work.

Oy vey. I'm REALLY busy this week, hence my lack of blog posts. I apologize to all of my fans. I will do my best to post something witty, timely and amusing very soon.

The End is Not the Point

Dave showed me this Trey Parker/Matt Stone video last night based on a talk given by Alan Watts (philosopher, writer, speaker, and student of comparative religion. He was best known as an interpreter and popularizer of Asian philosophies for a Western audience.)

Wayward Sunglasses

Dear P and D,

I still haven't received my sunglasses--the ones I left when I visited? Do you think something is wrong at the post office? D, would you be so kind as to inquire of your mother?

Okay, I KNOW you haven't sent them, but why not? You know that I rarely buy name-brand accessories... I NEED THEM! Desperately!

Are you holding them hostage until I upgrade my coat, purse and shoes (and socks)? I'm in the process of doing so. Promise. But, really, it's getting real sunny here and I am squinting so much, it's exacerbating my crow's feet.

Also, have you seen my jeans?

Career Watch: J

Ah, yes, it's the first of the month which means my monthly hours are due. And, like always, they suck.

For the lay people, lawyers typically bill their clients for their time via the firm. So, every month, I report how much time I spent working on each client. My goal is to bill 5 hours per day. I averaged 3 this month. The thing is, in ANY other firm, I would have to bill closer to 8 per day.

The problem, to me, is that I am not busy enough. My boss will retort that I still have stuff to do. Which is true. But it's the never-ending loose-ends type of stuff. Stuff that if all the planets aligned and everyone involved cooperated, would take me 10 minutes to finish.

A more ambitious sort would no doubt look into acquiring new clients of her own. I have two major problems with this: 1. I am not the ambitious sort. No, I am, it's just that I have never been a good salesperson and HATE having to sell myself and 2. there's not really much incentive unless I want to be partner someday. New clients bring in new money to the firm, but not to me directly. So, I would make the FIRM more money which is good and all, but... I have hobbies to keep up with.

Which brings me to the blog. Some (like my boss, if he knew) would argue I spend too much time on email, the internet and this blog which is distracting me from work. I believe that, as part of the MTV generation, I NEED the distraction. I can't remember the last time I felt productive and was only focused on one thing. Nope. If I am productive, I perform several tasks at once. That way, it feels like I am not tied to one project (opression!) and my short attention span is used to its potential.

So. Now I am trying to figure out what to do. I will have The Talk with my boss (trying to explain I need more work--my paltry hours this month do not reflect a lack of willingness to work on my part!), but I think I need to be proactive in solving this problem. Perhaps I should try to write a novel? Find a part-time job I can do from work and potentially bill through work? Or, find a new job/career altogether?

I'll keep you posted.