An open letter

Dear flamers,

We live in a time of great change. Gays, lesbians and transgender people are more visible than ever and it seems as if for the first time ever there might be light at the end of the tunnel in terms of winning equal rights in this country. Sure, there are setbacks but in the end I'm confident that we will win equal rights. People will eventually look back on asshole far right-wing conservatives that want to deny us our rights and think they were bigots. (Any far right-wing conservatives that may have stumbled onto this blog will read this as "homosexual agenda"-speak but we've already established that they are assholes.)

In the mean time, please refrain from being so GD obnoxious. Stop hysterically defending talentless pop stars and get a life. Work on a real career and don't grasp at 15 minutes of fame by being mean to egomaniacal celebrities. And please stop saying that everything is "fierce" because it's not and you're not.

Yes, you are increasing our visibility but ignorant people who want to characterize us as screaming, empty-headed and farcical queens are gaining much useful fodder. People living in BFE Kansas who have YouTube as their only exposure to gays are likely stupid enough to think that all gays are like this. (Hell, they want to teach creationism and "intelligent design" in schools so would you put it past them to believe that Boystown or Chelsea is full of flaming bitches with bad hair? [Well, they sort of are...]) They get the impression that we all act like that. In fact, most of us do not. They wouldn't be able to pick us out of a lineup.

So maybe I am bitter that there is a definite lack of non-flamer gay role models visible in the mainstream. And is it wrong to tell you queens to tone it down? Maybe. I'm not saying you should "act more straight." But come on, do you really act so ridiculous in your daily life? Isn't there some element of it just being an obnoxious persona that you project to get people to watch your video clips? Stop giving the rest of us a bad name! We aren't all so over-the-top FAB-U-LOUS (or "fierce"...douche). Those of us that aren't so stereotypical lack the egotistical desire to be so visible and hence there is no balance.

Therefore shut it. When we win the "culture wars" (which we didn't start...we are just trying to live our lives), you can be as ridiculous as you want and cry till your heart's content about people being mean to Britney. You can wear your hair as douche-ily as you want (watch for a future DBAD [Don't Be A Douche] column re: "douche-dos").

Sincerely,

P