Oh SNL short videos

SNL hasn't been at it's best for a few years but occasionally they still have some hilarious stuff.

Happy freakin' holidays!

So it's not even Christmas day and I can officially say that this is the worst Christmas ever. And I blame that in general on working in healthcare and specifically on the current situation where I work. I got the un-luck of the draw and have to not only work Christmas day but the entire week of and weekend after. Seven days straight. AND we were supposed to go to Omaha for a 3-day weekend last weekend to celebrate Christmas with my family. We were supposed to go leave Thursday night. But after sitting at the airport for 4 freakin' hours our flight (and all flights) to Omaha was cancelled due to an ice storm. So we had to rebook for Friday afternoon. And because of the same storm hitting Chicago, that flight was 1.5 hours late. Then our flight home on Sunday night was delayed by 2.5 hours. It's AWFUL trying to travel in the midwest in winter.

So now I need some help coming up with new career paths that will forever get me out of working holidays. And weekends / evenings to boot. Here is my list of good choices so far:

1. Photographer for National Geographic. Sure, I have no training in photography. And I've barely left the U.S. But I think I take some pretty decent pictures AND I'm a quick learner. And I like to travel. Isn't that all I should need? (Not to demean those of our loyal readers that are NG photographers...there must be a few in our vast legion of follower [intentional omission of plurality]... I'm sure it's a challenging career).

2. Work as an aid worker in Africa for the Clinton Global Initiative. I have a background in HIV / AIDS so that should help. Plus see #1... I like to travel. And I'm open minded and money would be no object if I loved what I was doing and felt as though I were helping people in Africa. So I'd like to ask those of you with connections to the Clintons to hook me up, please.

(Ya know technically for both of these jobs I would probably end up working evenings and weekends... but I wouldn't care).

3. Professional cat wrangler. Hell, we have a dog whisperer so why not a cat whisperer? Qualifications: I have two cats who are both a handful. 'Nuff said.

4. Personal shopper. I have good taste AND I like to shop. And I would be very thorough... just ask D & J about our trip to Urban Outfitters in Boulder a few years ago... how long did it take me to pick out some T's?

Any other suggestions? And is anyone willing to help me put my CV in order to get one of these jobs? It would take just a tad bit of creativity...

In honor of the holidays (note the PC title)

Steven Colbert + Dance Off = Hilarity

It took a while for SC to grow on me, but that man is FUNNY.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Rain Dance-Off

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

OMFG

This is one of the many things I would worry about if I had a child. GOOD GOD.

Oh, the Obama Obsession will NEVER end!

Bonjour! and Merci! and bon... jour...

Dave and I went to Montreal! Above is a picture I took while helping Dave navigate our way back to the interstate, back to the states. As you can plainly see, I was not completely to blame for misleading directions.

Dave and I make an annual trek to Dave's hometown of Coventry, CT every year (well, okay, for the past THREE years now) after Christmas. This year, we decided to switch it up a bit and go for Thanksgiving. Plus, Dave had a high school reunion that weekend.

The thing about Canada is, I never expect it to be that different from the States. But it is--as soon as you cross the border, things are just a bit different.

After MILES of flat farmland, you suddenly see Montreal across the river. It's a wonderful city. Of course, IT instantly feels different because of all the French everywhere. And, for all those little differences. For example, KFC is PFC in Montreal:










We stayed at the Omni, which is a 5 star hotel (Dave got a us a rocking deal) and is in the central shopping district. It was perfect. Here is a picture of one of the must-see sights we saw in our 24 hours in the city: Notre Dame. It is spectacular!


Here we are taking our own picture there:

We then spent the next night at a family friend's beach resort on the coast in Maine. I fell asleep to the sound of crashing waves. Here we are on the beach:

The rest of our time was spent in Coventry, which if you haven't been is quite a cool little town. At least the way Dave gives the tour.

Back to Canada: Dave and I decided Canadians are extraordinarily nice. Even the angry callers to the talk show we listened to on our way back to the States were extremely polite in their arguments and then took forever to thank the host and say goodbye. It's remarkable.

Hate

I posted a slideshow from Picasa on another blog with the tag "Obama". Suddenly, it seems, many of the pictures that pop up are hate-based. I plan on clicking on all of the pictures and tagging them for hate. You can, too--if you see a picture on the slideshow you want to tag, click on it and it should show up on the poster's picasa site. In the right column at the bottom there is a link to tag it.

See, for example this one.

In the spirit of the season...

Have a listen.

I find the comments at the bottom of the page fascinating. This goes back to J's post on comments. Seriously? This is offensive to you? Because "Italian" is mentioned? Really? That must be so sad for you. You must really be broken up about italian dressing.

OMFG

P is at work, which means I have a bit more freedom to watch all the "crap" (as he would call it) I want on TV.  Presently, I am watching a show called "17 Kids and Counting" on TLC.  The family pictured above is REAL.  And the mom either just had or is about to have her 18th child!  As you can tell from their hair and clothes, they are uber religious -- "be fruitful and multiply" and all that.  They live in what looks like a metal barn and have several sets of appliances.  I just saw their laundry room and it has at least 4 sets of washers/driers.  It seems to me that by the time she's done, her "parts" are going to fall right out.  There doesn't appear to be an end to how many kids they will have.

They just got into a discussion about the "evils of porn on the Internet".  In case you're wondering (and you're probably not), the oldest sisters and mom will sometimes go to the Library to "go on the Internet", but they don't have online access at home.  I would ask how people used to live without the Internet, but that's pretty obvious just from the few minutes I've watched of this show.  

Mammaries...

We had one of these when I was growing up, and it was one of my favorite Christmas decorations:

I know... ugly, right?  But it's one of my favorite Christmas decorating memories.  That's why I've been asking Mom to send it to me since moving away from home.  She hasn't been able to find it, which means she did not have the same emotional attachment to it that I did.  This is when I'm glad for ebay* -- I was able to find the lovely plastic monster you see above for $12.99.  The funny part: it shipped from West Seneca, NY which is very close to my parents' house.  I wonder if the woman who sold it bought it from my Mom's yard sale?  

*Yes, even though the CEO was a McCain campaign advisor.

Also, I thought I would take this opportunity to show everyone P's and my Christmas tree.  I am including two photos below.  The first is blurry, but I find it funny because Sheila is staring at the camera.  She won't do that normally -- only when you are trying to get a picture of something you don't want her in.  

From both photos, you can tell the cats like to play on the tree skirt.  And you can see Cole in the back.  He's the black lump.

Cheers!

Goth v. Vampire

This one is for P, especially. I caught this clip, then watched the full episode. I am guessing it mark Peter Murphy's comeback with a new hit "Burning Down Hot Topic"

Over the Line

I SOMEHOW found this website selling a children's book titled "Mama Voted for Obama". While I had high hopes, it looks really dumb. (it's a rhyming book, not a version of history for kids)

The seller also has a book called Why Mommy is a Democrat. In my humble opinion, it overreaches. Excerpt below. Notice the guy selling drugs in the background. "Democrats are tolerant of drug use." hahahaha

The big 3-1

Happy birthday to... you...
Happy birthday... to you...
Happy birth... day... Mr. President...
Happy birth... day... to... you...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAUL!

I want a shiba inu!

OMG, the puppies in this video are what I want for Christmas...

M. Night Shyamalan, you owe me 201 minutes I can never get back

Like everyone, I was taken in by The Sixth Sense several years ago.  Yes, I remember jumping out of my seat several times in the theater.  And countless dumbasses played off variations of "I see dead people..." for way past its prime and we had a pop culture phenomenon on our hands.  Then Signs was a decent movie with several good scares and it was before most people realized how much of a mega douche Mel Gibson is.  But then it started to go downhill fast.  I believe I saw Unbreakable (yes, I'm being smart...) and then it started to seem like maybe M. Night had just gotten lucky.  The Village was just bad and I for one started to wonder if the director / "actor" / writer / producer really thought moviegoers would let him get away with over-wrought movies based on a twist.  

Then came The Lady In the Water.  That was just about THE WORST movie I have EVER seen and that is saying something...I was also just recently made to watch Xanadu.   The dialogue was horrible.  The story was cheesy as hell.  And the acting was marginal at best.  I feel obligated to mention at this point that D made me rent this.  (Speaking of which...I am now blogging so as to not have to pay attention to D's current selection Alvin & The Chipmunks.)  The last straw came just the other night with The Happening.  Another completely stupid premise and the trademark heavy-handed attempt at social and/or environmental commentary.  I found myself laughing at scenes that I'm sure were mean to be horrifying.  For example, I was laughing out loud when the construction workers were throwing themselves off of buildings and crashing to the ground all around their mortified friends.  

I probably wouldn't be so hard on M. Night were it not for the fact that he seems to be SO full of himself.  He takes himself and his movies way too seriously.  And appearing in your own movies?  I'm sorry, but you are NO Alfred Hitchcock.  

So please figure out how to give me back that lost 201 minutes.  Hey, that's a bargain...I'm not charging you for The Village or Unbreakable.  

  

I want to puke

This article was reprinted in the Red Eye today.  I know there are a lot of assholes out there but they are teaching their children to hate and that is the epitome of disgusting.  I am hopeful for the future of this country but we apparently have a long way to go.  Considering these people can't get along with those that are different with them I think Obama's first executive order should be shipping them off to an island where they have to survive (without guns) while being reprogrammed to love and respect those that are different than them.  Or here's an idea:  ship them to Gitmo, which Obama has said he'd shut down with another executive order.  Like killing two (racist) birds with one stone! 

Happy Holidays from the Obamas

I know it's a little early, but I couldn't wait to share:

Comments

I think I have commented on this before, but I find it ASTOUNDING what people will comment on and the nature of their comments.

Today's Example: I checked the weather forecast on the local news channel: 9news.com

The forecast is told in narrative form, but pretty much says there will be a winter weather advisory for the mountains, Denver could see light snow and cold. Mmm kay. Got it.

Then I scrolled down and there are PAGES (7, apparently) of comments. To a short story about tomorrow's weather. The likes of which I have excerpted here:

kamcakes wrote:
YAY for snow!!! It's about time!! I can't wait until Thanksgiving and Christmas!!

(um... no one cares)

User Image
HIYA1 wrote:
denver2008 wrote:
Snow? I really do not think it is nearly cold enough to snow. Now, this makes the 6th time it was SUPPOSE to snow in the Denver Metro area. Please....can you guys predict the weather more accurately?
-------------------------------------------------------------
It is called a PREDICTION for a reason... they can't control the weather; only guess as to what they have going on and what would be more likely to happen... no way of telling if the winds will change etc. Bet you couldn't do any better.

(Yikes...)


denver2008 wrote:
HIYA1....your damn straight I could not do any better. However, I did not go to school for that, nor is that what I do for a living. If I did my job, like these guys do theirs....you better believe I would be fired. Predicting snow 6 times and not one time is right....well, I guess that is all I need to say.

(oh! denver2008 actually SAW the response to their comment and thought they should comment AGAIN. Interesting...)



HIYA1 wrote:

DENVER, I am assuming then that your job is not pending on nature...sht even a doc can predict that chemo would work or a med would work, but doesn't mean that it will... plus they predicted snow in the mountains, which they got. And have you calculated the percentage of correct over incorrect? I bet you have had errors in your job as well.



HIYA1 wrote:

and denver, read sirpukealot's comment- I believe that is directed at you- someone who does such a good job and can't get your/you're correct



Wow. It's THE WEATHER, people!

A Plug for Green produce Bags

Kelly bought these for me as a gift. They're grrrrrreat!

Keith Olbermann talks good

What he said.

Apparently THIS is one reason why people have kids...

So they don't end up living alone, with their dead siblings in the other room.  

GOOD.  LORD.

Inside look at the night

THANK. GOD.

P's post pretty much sums it up.  The only thing I'll add is that one of my favorite parts was walking back to the bus.  People in buildings were looking down at us and waving excitedly.  I'm with P, I had no idea how many people would be so excited about this.

This was going to be my concession post should the election have gone the other way.  

"Dear Loyal Readers,

As you are reading this blog, P and I are on our way to Montreal, Canada.  We've packed up the cats and our most precious belongings, and are sending for the rest of our things.  It has been a good run here in the States (like how I already know the lingo, eh?), and we were really hoping things would work out in this election.  The good news is, we'll have free health care (have I mentioned I'm a hypochondriac?  Yes?  Oh... right), and you'll have a new place to visit!  And to my dear family, I'll be much closer to home now!  We can meet at Clarkson hockey games!  

P and I aren't sure that Canucks have the internet, but assuming they do, we'll be back shortly!  All our posts will be in french and english, and our vocab may get a bit strange, but P and I will write at you soon!  

Yours in being hosers, 

D & P

P.S. Good luck with that whole "Palin" thing."

One word: relief

I feel like the weight of years of anxiety has been lifted off of my shoulders. November 4th, 2008 turned out to be one of the happiest days of my life. David and I were also there to witness history. Yes, we were in Grant Park for the election night rally. We missed getting tickets from the campaign by hours (if only I had been able to check my e-mail all day!) so we had to go to the overflow area north of the rally and watch coverage on a jumbotron. They played CNN all night. I was on edge all night but started to feel relief when they called Pennsylvania for Obama. Then for the next few hours, I was still on pins & needles. Actually, more accurately, I was on goose shit and other people's feet. Grant Park is COVERED in goose shit and it was unavoidable. So I can say that I sat in goose shit for Obama to witness history.

More relief came when they called Ohio. CNN's John King had the difficult job of still keeping his cool and trying to see a path for McCain and everyone in the park laughed when he made an off the cuff comment about how hard it was.

While we waited for more of the battlegrounds to be called (WHY was it taking so long for Virginia and Indiana to be called!?), I had a chance to soak it all in. It was a very young crowd for the most part but the one thing that amazed me most was how diverse the throngs of people were. Black, white, Asian, Hispanic...children, teens, young adults, middle aged and elderly...gay, straight. And TONS of Obama t-shirts, buttons, signs.

About 10pm central time, as the polls were about to close on the west coast, they called Virginia for Obama. It seemed to go very quickly from there and when they called the election shortly after, people were screaming and crying and hugging and dancing. I almost lost it and was choking back tears.

It was amazing how peaceful the rally was and how orderly and easy getting home was. The CTA actually did something right. And did it fairly smoothly. David and I were on a bus within minutes and home within 45 minutes.

The next day it was like the world changed. I know I live in a liberal, Democratic bubble here in Chicago. It also doesn't hurt that I work and associate with the "highly educated" (who broke overwhelmingly for Obama as 58% of those with a postgraduate education voted for him). Still, I couldn't believe it. Maybe it was my own good mood but I felt like everyone was smiling and more friendly. On the train, I saw people tearing up at the newspaper covers (which sold out in minutes and were impossible to find). When I got to work, I was amazed at how many people were not only talking about the historic victory but were at the rally AND how many had tickets. SO MANY! And despite the fact that we got home at almost 1 am, I wasn't tired at all. (Although it did help that I had a small, private Obama celebration of my own by treating myself to one of Starbuck's new holiday treats, the espresso truffle. OMG, good.)

Here is an attempt to show you how exciting the moment that night was (BTW, in the begging you see a building lit up with USA in the background. Yeah, ,that's only a little bit further back than we were):

Does this help?

Talk me down

I'm not even joking: two nights this week I've woken up from nightmares in which McCain won the election. Ridiculous I know but I can't handle the prospect of McCain and (especially) Palin in the White House...picking judges, making other appointments, proposing health care plans, vetoing Democratic legislation, keeping us in Iraq forever...the list goes on. (Yes, I know, a McCain presidency would be very tough at best given the fact that there will be even stronger Democratic majorities in both houses of congress but still...) I know things look good for Obama but I still think McCain and the Republicans will try to steal another election.

"Don't Speak for Me Sarah Palin" to the tune of "Evita"

Awesome.

*pee pants*

This was my favorite part of the concert.  Vogue.  The picture above was taken by P.  The video below was not.  I should point out that she has had time to practice since starting her tour in Europe.  The singing was WAY better than this.  That, or it was so loud you couldn't tell... 

Don't interrupt...RUDE!

I haven't laughed this hard in a while.

We're so gay...

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

P.S. The back of my t-shirt said "Get stupid...McCain...Get stupid...Palin". I'm so controversial!

Another celebrity endorsement

So you may have heard that we went to see Madonna on Sunday. But as you would expect from Madonna, she gave us her two cents worth on a number of issues via her background videos, especially this one that played during a costume change. Not only did it feature the above picture of Obama (which prompted, I might add, loud, unanimous cheers) but in the first half of the video (what I like to call the "Get Stupid" portion), pictures of McCain, Bush, Romney, etc were flashed on the screen with the words "get stupid" (from her song "Give It 2 Me"). Obama was part of what I call the "The Time Is Now" portion.

Oh, the thrill of seeing celebrities come together for a common cause

HA especially @ "I lika Bone-o"

More pics

Oh, heck--just view my pics online

Another historic event with Barack

I hope I'm not getting too braggy about this stuff.

Once again, living in Denver pays off. Yesterday Dave convinced me we should volunteer for the Obama rally today. I didn't want to. I wanted to camp out and end up right behind him and on tv (and mouth the words "I am so right, MOM!")

But Dave and I went to the volunteer training and as soon as we got out of the car, I was swept up in something bigger than myself. People poured into Manuel High School from all directions. We entered the gymnasium to see 1,200 volunteers. All sitting quietly, waiting for instructions. We immediately saw several friends from different groups.

The assembly started with a story told by one of Colorado's lead volunteer organizers. Very early on in his candidacy, he got to spend the day with Barack Obama. He spent the entire day before trying to think of questions he wanted to ask the Senator. But as soon as he introduced himself, and for the entire day, Mr. Obama asked all the questions ("Where are you from?" "What do your parents do?" "What are your issues?" etc.) He said that the character of this campaign comes from the boss himself--a genuine interest in serving one's community. Indeed, the motto posted in all of the campaign offices is "Respect. Empower. Include."

So, as if they didn't have me THEN, they made a more direct appeal: Barack Obama NEEDS our help.

Our training: Smile. A lot. Be friendly. Be helpful. Don't yell. Don't run.

And then some details, but those are the instructions that stuck with me.

As you have probably heard, the number of people who came to the rally in my hometown broke not only all local records, but national records for attendance at a political rally. As Dave pointed out, this is not about politics: this is about a movement for change.

As a side note, Dave and I being the hams we chatted with the people waiting in line, encouraging them to vote early and to volunteer. Dave told them, "You are the change we've been waiting for!" Loudest laughter: mine.

Downtown Denver Vote Early Rally

Laura Dern spoke, then introduced her husband, Ben Harper, who sounded AWESOME!!

Tax Savings

My tax savings under Senator Obama's plan: $250.

And yours?

http://taxcut.barackobama.com/

*exasperated*

I find it fascinating that the people asking others to vote "Yes" on Prop 8 in CA are so passionate about it.  I guess I understand your having such a strong opinion relative to your children if you think homosexuality is immoral.  Obviously I don't agree with that view.  But the 18 and 19 year old?  Where did they come from?

Picture Essay

I loved that he cleaned up after himself before leaving an ice cream shop in Wapello, Iowa. He didn't have to. The event was over and the press had left. He is used to taking care of things himself and I think this is one of the qualities that makes Obama different from so many other political candidates I've encountered. Nov. 7, 2007.

See more photos here.

A Trip Down Memory Lane

Ron Howard, my new hero, plugs Barack Obama by doing sketches with his former co-stars, Andy Griffith and Henry Winkler.

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Probably the Funniest Video I have EVER seen

Especially for David: a dance-off between the candidates!

Hate to Bring it Down, But...

This is Bobo, a 6 year old Yorkie who was burned by his owner. He died today after really, truly valiant efforts to save him. Read the story here.

You Can't Judge a Book By Its Cover

Are candidate bumper stickers as prevalent in other parts of the country? Time spent in the late summer on the Western Slope of Colorado, I didn't notice many, but there are, as you might expect, a bunch in Denver. I am often surprised by the types of vehicles sporting Obama stickers. This morning: a beat up gray pick up hiked up on big tires. I just would not have expected them to be an Obama supporter. But, then again, I just read this post on another blog:

Ben Smith received an interesting e-mail. It's from an Obama canvasser in Southern Ohio and deserves repeating.

In the first house I visited, a huge Confederate flag that completely filled my field of view was tacked to the living room wall. Couldn't take my eyes off it as I launched into my standard Obama talk. The guy stopped me mid-sentence, "We're with Obama. He's the only one for the working man. Most of us around here are GM and GM is with Obama."

His neighbor was a postal worker. I almost missed the ceramic black lawn jockey on his porch, a relic of bygone days in many other parts of the state, but what was unmistakable was the household's political allegiance: a "Postal Workers Back Obama" yard sign was planted on the front lawn.

Easing P's Fears

Dave sent Megan the following to help ease her near-constant anxiety about fluxuating poll numbers:

Two words: We're okay

Attached is the poll comparing 2008 to the previous two races, along with the most recent electoral college graph (read about the state-to-state details here)

This graph shows the poll numbers for each of the Democratic candidates leading up to Election Day, 2000, 2004, and 2008. For Gore and Kerry, the Xs show the actual percentage after votes were counted (or not, as the case may be).


Obviously, Barack Obama's lead is unprecedented among Democratic candidates.

Feel better?

Obama rally in Grant Park on election night!

So in the Red Eye this morning (the free daily put out by the Chicago Tribune) they mentioned that Obama is planning a rally in Grant Park on election night. They are planning the event now with huge needs for security, etc. They are expecting 100,000 people but I'll bet there will be even more. I HAVE TO BE THERE!

Now that I'm saying this, being the superstitious pessimist that I am, I now believe that I have jinxed the Obama campaign. No one wants to be too cocky and...*other cliches*

BUT I do have to say if I were John McCain and Sarah Palin, I'd be pretty worried right now. With only 12 days to go, here's how MSNBC's Chuck Todd breaks down the polls in swing states:

Those for Obama: Indiana (51- 41%), Iowa (52-39%), Michigan (58-36%), Minnesota (57-38%), Ohio (53-41% - remember 2004?!?), Pennsylvania (52-41%), Wisconsin (53-40%), Nevada (51-46%), North Carolina (51-47%), Virginia (56-44%).

McCain's only lead in a "swing state" (I put it in quotations to indicate that West Virginia hasn't been in this position in the last 2 election cycles but it did go Democratic in '88, '92, and '96): West Virginia (44-53%).

So now that I'm putting these numbers up here, I feel sick. Because I don't want to get too hopeful. As perhaps I did in 2004. I woke up the morning after that election night and had myself a good cry as I "looked forward to" another 4 years of W. I won't stop feeling anxious until it's all over after Nov. 4th. We all know that Republicans have gotten quite good at stealing elections.

Yes We Carve

I tell ya... people are clever and talented. I will not be attempting any of these as I threaten to cut myself everytime I chop vegetables.

Also, if you're like me and plan to redecorate your entire house in an Obama theme (kidding!...or AM I...), you can download and print really creative posters here.

Because I never (ever) get sick of it...

Just in case you are as intimately familiar with the real video, you can see it here. Click Madonna looking at the camera in a similar pink outfit.

*giggle*

Guess what happens this weekend!

This.

The only bad thing is, I was planning on taking the Monday after the concert off.  Turns out, I have an all day meeting that I have to be at on Monday morning.  *groan*

This is Sand

Have you heard about this website?

If you click on the square in the upper left of the screen, it gives you directions, but the gist is this: if you double-click, sand starts falling from the cursor. To change the color, type "c" and click on the color you'd like. You end up making art out of the sand that falls to the bottom of your screen. It's quite zen, really...

Scared of the Dark

That's right, I'm scared of the dark. I have always been scared of the dark. I believe it all started with "Howard the Duck" when I was a little boy. But that's for another post.

Recently, P went to Omaha to visit his parents. I wanted to post this then, but was afraid someone would see I was home alone and come attack me in my sleep. This is how my nights go when I'm home alone:

1. I turn each and every light on in the house.

2. I sit on the couch so that I have a strategic advantage. I can look down the entire length of the apartment. I find myself looking down the hall CONSTANTLY.

3. I stay up as late as possible for two reasons - first, that way I make myself super tired so I can fall right to sleep. Second, I don't have to face trying to fall asleep until I absolutely have to.

4. When I finally DO go to bed, I leave at least one light on all night. That way I can make out any shadow monsters on the walls and get the hell out of there.

5. I am super grumpy due to lack of sleep. I also have bloodshot eyes.

I should point out that I'm much less scared of someone breaking in than I am of some sort of ghost-like thing showing up. I lock the apartment up nice and tight even when I'm NOT home alone (thanks to my father for that sickness). And, I have one cat that I'm convinced will go for the jugular of a real person who is stupid enough to break in.

Matters certainly aren't helped by my watching shows like "Ghost Hunters" on SciFi. That is one of my favorite shows of all time. But you KNOW I'm scared when I cannot even watch that when I'm home alone. And P wonders why I can't watch "The Strangers"... my worst nightmare on film.

Well, time for bed. But first I need to check behind the shower curtain to make sure no one is ready to pounce. Wish me luck!

Watching the Elk

Here is a pic I took of the elk in Estes Park a couple of weeks ago:

The Stock Market

I cannot bring myself to look at my retirement account statements. I am one of those people that obediently put my money away, but was never very sure of whether I was well-invested in the right stocks and whathaveyou.

But it's hard to avoid some information and it's enough to scare the bejeezus out of me--someone who has another 30+ years until retirement. I cannot imagine how anyone in their 50s or 60s who planned well feels right now.

As an example of what I am referring to (assuming you're like me and have avoided the financial stories out of confusion, fear and avoidance of feeling completely ignorant):

GM stock is down from $40/sh last year to $5.50 today.
Last year, Apple was at $167. Today: $89.

Today's chart for Citibank stock looks like this:


*GULP*

People are so Clever

Oh, Tina Fey... J'Adore

7-Election

Some pretty interesting results via the 7-11 7-Election campaign.  I just got mine, and might I suggest the pumpkin spice latte?  *sip*

Obama's Constructive Criticism Ad

This is funny. I didn't know The Onion had videos!



Obama Runs Constructive Criticism Ad Against McCain

Another reason to dislike Sarah Palin

OMG, I was just reading in the NYT quotes from the Couric interview w/ Palin and now it's personal.

And on gays, Governor Palin said: “But what you’re talking about, I think, value here, what my position is on homosexuality and you can pray it away, because I think that was the title that was listed on that bulletin. And you know, I don’t know what prayers are worthy of being prayed. I don’t know what prayers are going to be asked and answered. But as for homosexuality, I am not going to judge Americans and the decisions that they make in their adult personal relationships. I have one of my absolute best friends for the last 30 years happens to be gay, and I love her dearly. And she is not my “gay friend,” she is one of my best friends, who happens to have made a choice that isn’t a choice I would have made. But I am not going to judge people.”

Excuse me, Mrs. Palin but I didn't choose to be gay (not that if someone were to "choose" being gay there would be anything wrong with that...we are fabulous). I was born gay just like you were apparently born with limited capacity for knowledge.

I'm sorry, what?

Sherri Shepherd is one of the women on The View. I haven't seen many of the "she said WHAT" type headlines from that show recently. When Rosie was on, she seemed to make the entertainment page about once a day or so. That's why I wasn't prepared for the few clips I just watched featuring Sherri Shepherd.

To set the scene, Sherri is a devout Christian that was "saved" in recent years. She gave an interview in a Christian magazine saying she "had more abortions that [she] would like to count" prior to finding Jesus. She also "doesn't know" if the world is flat. During a discussion about Epicurus, she argued with Whoopi and Joy saying that Christians pre-date the BC philosopher. It's no secret that I'm not a religious person, and I certainly don't judge anyone who does have faith. I should say I don't judge most people that have faith. What Ms. Shepherd has is a case of faith turned insanity. Much of what she vehemently defends has already been disproven.

• The world is not flat -- that much is pretty clear, no? To anyone that isn't blind and has an understanding of basic shapes? I'll bet if I had asked the little boy that was sitting behind me today on the train what shape the Earth was, he'd get the answer right. He's learning shapes in school right now.
• B.C. stands for "before Christ". That means if someone was born in 341 B.C., they certainly predate Christ and His teachings.
• These are just two of her ravings. I'm sure I'll find more. I won't promise to point them out since this post has already made me exasperated.

The clip below is Sherri talking about how Sarah Palin being a mother of five qualifies her to be Vice President (and potentially President) of the United States. Really? That's what it takes, huh? My Mom is one of six kids, and I don't plan to nominate my grandmother to run for public office. I have a great deal of respect for parents, and I may even be one someday. But that doesn't mean I'm going to be qualified to run for public office. I'm not suggesting that this is the only argument that Sherri can make re: Palin's qualifications, but she needs to stop using this one.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/02/sherri-shepherd-palins-fi_n_123281.html

Not surprisingly, she doesn't believe in evolution either... aaaaaaand I'm spent. I need to go read a book.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNC117UYsHs

Can't we all just get along?

So I've noticed that there is some tension going down on the blog. And so I'm gonna go all Edna Garrett on this blog's ass. "GURRRRLS! GURRRLS!" (and guys)... can we agree to disagree on some things and keep it civil? Thanks!

Now I know that this blog has a very liberal slant. And right now is a touchy time with an election only weeks away. But that doesn't mean that we can't get along. Some of my best friends are conservatives. I disagree with them regularly. But an incident with my very conservative family at the start of the Iraq War involving e-mail forwards and responses taught me how sticky politics is - especially amongst friends and family. So while I'm not calling for an end to ideological slant to this blog or any comments, let's not get personal or slanderous. Not that it's been that bad but I know things can deteriorate as quickly as Rush Limbaugh's OxyContin high (oh, I couldn't resist).

It's either we all get along or I'm going to make you paint your bedroom in a ploy to get you to work things out. And we all know that will end in messy hilarity!

Fashion Critique of the Candidates

I thought this was funny. And informative. Like John McCain, I, too, struggle to avoid "looking like a rectangle."

www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/photo/galleries/frontrunners

Thoughts on the Debate

It's hard for me to be objective, but watching John McCain leaves me wondering:

is McCain deaf in his left ear? He never looked at Senator Obama. At best, it made him seem old and deaf, at worst, it made him seem dismissive and rude.

every answer of McCain's involved his opponent. Defensive, much? I imagine if I were undecided I would have been put off by it. It just made McCain seem petty and like he was avoiding representing his own ideas.

Also, what is with Republicans being so snotty and condescending (see debate tonight and their entire convention).

I don't know. I feel like I got more substantive info from Barack Obama. At different times when McCain was speaking, I kept thinking he sounded like a sedated Kasey Kasem.

Ooooh, BURN!

Reid: "We have Sen. Bennett who is a high-ranking Republican Senator standing before all of you saying, 'We've got a deal in principle. All we have to do is put it down in writing and this is almost over with.' And then Guess Who came to town, and that completely fell apart.

...people who constructively engaged in the process were castigated in the Republican Caucus by people who aren't here a lot, at least a person who isn't here a lot of time..."

Now I am REALLY Scared

Palin doesn't think the U.S. should ever second-guess Israel. Because we don't want a second Holocaust. Because if Israel acts agressively, "we know who the good guys are". *grimace*

Crab on a Jellyfish

I don't why, but this really cracks me up. It's just a crab on a giant jellyfish.

Volunteering

I just want to urge Obama supporters to get online and volunteer. I realize you're in a blue state, but you could reach out to people in purple states and really help, I believe. Dave's aunt is in Ohio (she lives in Mass.) volunteering all day long! Karen and I just made a few calls last night. The thing is, there are people out there who need to be reminded about educating themselves and voting. I am not saying "call them and convince them to vote for Obama"--I am saying "call them and make them think about the issues most important to them. Then remind them there are resources for getting the facts about the policies of each of the candidates. Then remind them how and when to register to vote and that voting by absentee ballot is the easiest."

I spoke with a Hillary supporter who had "no idea" who she's going to vote for. I asked her what her concerns are and she said the economy. I asked her who she thought would best handle the economic problems we're facing. "Oh, Obama for sure" We kept talking, but I think it made her realize that neither candidate is perfect, but you exercise your vote with the faith that the person you vote for will do the best job.

I also spoke with someone who enthusiastically answered "Oberack" to my question. Me: "uuuuhhh... do you mean Barack Obama?" Her: "*laughing* I can't say the guy's name, but you know who I mean!" (funny especially since I told her I was a volunteer with the Barack Obama campaign in Colorado. She might have also been the one who asked, "Who's that?" hahahaha--oh, PEOPLE!)

Conservative Racist Bastards

I am not saying all conservatives are racist. But the history of the Republican Party since the 1960s speaks for itself.

Dave put together this blog post after seeing news stories on the subject below.

Jenn,

There is a new conservative meme out there trying to explain the financial meltdown on, get this... black folks.

Yes, you read that correctly. The poorest segment of the American population has apparently outwitted America's great financial institutions, and took them for all their worth.

This is the new talking point initiated by Neil Cavuto at Faux News. A few days ago, he suggested that giving home mortgages to minorities was the underlying problem. Since the same argument was parroted by both Laura Ingram and John Stossel this evening, discussed at length by the ultra-conservative Investor's Business Daily, and traceable to a Cato Institute rag from January 2008, I thought I ought to look into the matter a bit.

The argument suggests that the Community Reinvestment Act (first passed in 1977, and strengthened in 1995) is responsible for much of the crisis because it supposed "empowered banking regulators to punish banks which do not lend to the poor and minorities at the level that Obama's fellow community organizers would like." Banks were thus given "numerical quotas," which made our powerful financial corporations quake in their boots. Oh no, Big Gummit is comin' to town. And so, the argument goes, "loans started being made on the basis of race, and often little else"

(Pause for laughter and ridicule.)

What was the result? According to conservatives, them minorities just jumped into the market and diluted all our good mortgages with their own bad juju. Since those ingrates refuse to pay back their loans, good white folk are left high and dry.

Here are a few useful and brief responses:

1) "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaa! What a joke. Oh my god, you CAN'T be serious!"

2) "Black folks owned 9% of the homes in 1994. Eleven years later, they owned the exact same percentage. So there really wasn't any huge racial disparity. And if there wasn't a huge racial disparity, you can't really blame blacks can you? Sorry, no."

3) "Of the subprime loans, only 20% were connected with the Community Revitalization Agency. In other words, 80% of these 'bad' loans had little to no connection to the agency you said caused this thing. Now don't you feel silly?"

4) "If risky loans were a problem, why did Bush change FHA rules in 2005 to allow the government to provide federally-backed, zero-money-down loans for the first time ever? Man, that would have been exceedingly dumb."

5) "The loans themselves aren't the problem; the problem is what happened after the loans were made. Thanks to new rules, loans were swapped and resold dozens of times over, and that's how $1 trillion in subprime loans become a $40 trillion house of cards."

6) "The financial industry earned $3.5 trillion in profits from 1995 to 2007, yet now cry about $2 billion in potentially-bad loans. Since all those profits went in their pockets, shouldn't the bailout come from the same place?"

Oh, those crazy Republicans. They sure know how to divert attention, play on racial stereotypes, and stick their snouts into the public trough, don't they? They'll tell you that the market is king and government should stay out of it, but when those salad days end, they're first in line for a handout. Instead of "trickle down" economics, we just get to "trickle up" our tax dollars.And then magically, the government should just stay out of the market again.

I say no! No to the Wall Street bailout, and yes to helping borrowers and ordinary folks as needed. We really don't need to pay the fat cats first, or listen to claptrap about deregulation. Greed can be both helpful and doleful, which is why regulations are essential for a well-ordered market that serves society.

McCain campaign meltdown

OMG, the last 2 weeks have been BAAAAADDDD for McCain but it just got horrendous in the last 24 hours. Suspending your campaign? REALLY? Skipping the debate? WHAT?

Perhaps 2 things will go down in history as the beginning of the end for the McCain / Palin ticket: McCain canceling his appearance on Letterman and Palin's interview with Katie Couric.

I will pretty much let the clips speak for themselves. First, Letterman. If you haven't seen this, you must.



Some of my favorite things that Letterman said:

"Are we suspending [our campaign] because there is an economic crisis or because our poll numbers are sliding?" To which the audience responds with "Oooooohhhh!" and Paul Schaffer says, "Oops! Oops oops!"

"And let's say there's a time of crisis...and then Sarah Palin takes over as president, well she ought to be ready because she's handled crises like this in the past...oh wait a minute, she really hasn't handled a crisis like this in the past."

And the interview of Sarah Palin with Katie Couric speaks for itself. Here is the worst of it - what will go down in history as "the Russia question":



I am blown away by how...DUMB she sounds. I almost feel sorry for her because I think the McCain campaign really wanted to beef up her foreign policy credentials and they've made her tout the Russia thing even though it sounds SO STUPID.

Goodbye, John McCain & Sarah Palin. Thanks for the blog fodder.

Joining the Apple revolution

So I broke down and just got an iPod nano last night. It's the 16gb in blue, the latest and greatest 4th generation, natch. The iPhone will have to wait till June (so D, quit the hysterical whining about how you want an iPhone before me...we both have to wait now).

But anyhoo...I started the process of preparing my music for an iPod last night. I have a TON of music that is inconveniently not in the correct format (they are mostly WMAs...stupid Windows) and so much to my surprise the latest version of iTunes started to automatically convert these files to types that are okay for an iPod. The process started last night around 630 pm and as of 730 am this morning, it was only about 60% finished with the process. OMG, I have a ton of music. So far, playback time of my library is over 1 week...meaning if I were to listen continuously, it would play for over a week. That's some crazy sh**. So I left my computer running so that it could finish this process. Keep your fingers crossed that this doesn't crash my poor PC laptop! Or that once I get my fancy new nano that it doesn't crash itself or the laptop. Of course, if it did I would have an excuse to get a MacBook.

I'm ridiculous.

Some things you should know re: previous post

Just two weekends ago, I was threatening to break my contract with Verizon just so I could get an iPhone.  

P: "You're going to pay $100 just do you can get an iPhone" *dripping with judgement*

Needless to say, I did not switch.  

Also, my contract should have been up ~8 months ago.  Guess why it's not!  Because P made a change to our contract.  That means I am bound by the new contract (and the new dates).  

AND, I can't afford an iPhone any longer, so if he switches: (1) my monthly plan price will increase, (2) I will have to take over the billing because it is under his name right now, and (3) I will be stuck under his contract until June.

The second day the music died

So I was on my way home from work yesterday (here's your expected response: "OMG, you were working ANOTHER weekend?" Me, indignant and mad, through gritted teeth: "YES") and all of a sudden my stupid Gigabeat (Toshiba's NO LONGER MADE MP3 player) just stopped working. All of a sudden, a screen came up that said, "Send me the f*** back to Toshiba, bitch!" Well, not exactly but you get the gist of it.

I had to send it back once before (see previous blog entry entitled "The day the music died"...too lazy to link you back to it...). So now I'm thinking that I'm done with this and it's time, ladies and gentlemen, to make the switch to Apple. Yes, I want an iPhone. But there are several problems with that and this whole endeavor could be a MAJOR mess:

1) I have been on a PC forEVER and my music collection is huge (yes, you may not know this about me but I am a huge music lover and have A TON of it). It is basically all on there as MP3s that are in Windows Media Player. To boot, I know that iPods and iPhones tend to have trough sync'ing to Toshibas. So how much of a hassle is it going to be to transfer all of that over to a Mac...who knows... and can the "genius bar" at the Apple Store help me? But that brings me to another problem...

2) I want a Mac. My Toshiba laptop has pissed me off more times than I care to count and it's SOOOO SLOW. So can I justify spending about $2500 to get a MacBook Pro? I don't know.

3) I am currently under contract with Verizon and to break my contract (and D's...we are on a Family Share Plan) before June of next year would cost $100 EACH! Apparently there are websites dedicated to swapping with people to get out of your contract but is it worth it? Maybe...

4) I want something now. After all, I am an American and I want NOW NOW NOW! I can't wait for anything! Certainly not till June...and I can't go for even A WEEK without some sort of MP3 device.

OMG! HELP! WHAT SHOULD I DO?