I'm a Banana Republic whore.

Seriously, I am. Easily 90% of my entire wardrobe is from BR. At the same time, I'm generally not a fan of Gap or Old Navy, which is interesting to me. I guess I like to spend a lot more on the clothes I buy, even though they are made in exactly the same place as the "lower end" items. Actually, I think it's that BR clothing is more tailored than the other two stores. But this really isn't the point of the post.

P's brother is getting married in three weeks. I've been asked to do a reading at the wedding, and so I feel as though I should wear a suit. I bought a suit a couple of years ago. I really don't wear suits that often, but it just so happened that I needed one for work recently. I pulled out my suit and put it on, and it no longer fits. I think the walking in Chicago has been good for me. I really need to have it taken in. But, even if I did have it taken in, I really do need a more tailored suit for my frame. I look like a little kid playing dress up. As if I needed MORE justification to shop at BR.

I have been eyeing several suits there. The problem: they tend not to have my size. A week or two ago, I went to BR specifically looking for a suit. They didn't have one pair of pants or one jacket in my size. So, at the recommendation of the store, I went online to look. I have BR's Luxe card. For those who don't know what that is, you're better off. Essentially what it means is, I spend FAR too much at the store in a single calendar year. In celebration of my poor spending habits, BR has awarded me a special shopper status. It's like BR platinum. I get VIP invites to special events (P and I went to a LUXE-only premier party -- yes, I said party -- at a BR in San Francisco*. At said event, we each got a goody bag for making a purchase. We also got complimentary appetizers and wine. There was even a DJ), free alterations, free shipping online, and I earn coupons for purchases more quickly than non-LUXE card holders. I have a $20 giftcard that has been burning a hole in my pocket, so I planned on using that to get a suit.

* We didn't go to SF FOR this party. We happened to be there visiting because I had a conference for work. I don't have that much of an addiction.

Last night, I added the brown pinstripe suit of my dreams to my cart on BR.com, and then thought, "oh what the hell, let's google 'banana republic coupon codes' and see what comes up". Turns out, there is private sale going on for friends and family of BR employees. Employees get ten invites through which participants receive 25% off their entire order. The problem is, I don't know any BR employees. After looking through 14 pages of google search results, I decided to check ebay to see if any employees were selling their discounts. Sure enough, many were! I bought a discount for $4. After applying it to my cart, I got a discount of $118, PLUS free shipping! You know you have a problem when you get high from getting a deal.

Now, I just wait patiently for my suit to arrive. I plan to stand around just like this in it:


I think I like the orange tie. And I DO still have my $20 coupon...

The shed

Remember my blog about stuff? As in, too much of it? Behold: The Shed

BEFORE:










Ok, so I don't have an after. Let's just say Dave and I were at our wit's end what with all the stuff, we gave up on the idea of a garage sale and took it all to Goodwill. A "prime" example of too much stuff--the paint we uncovered under all the OTHER stuff in the shed:











In answer to your shock and wonder: I don't know how. I just don't know.


WHat our yard looked like after our shed threw up and before we went to Goodwill (as in, this is how our yard looked for a little over a week):


*This picture will be used for tax write-off purposes.

OMG

So work was awful today.  I'd go into it, but it's my policy that I don't talk about work on the blog other than in generic terms.  I don't want this *gesture* to be the reason I get fired.  "Well, D, we would have given you a raise and a key to your own private bathroom, but we saw on your blog that you said something nasty about your coworker."  BUT, suffice it to say I was rip-roarin' mad when I left work today.

Cut to my train ride home.  As mentioned previously, I take a variety of trains to/from work each day.  The stop where I transfer is very busy during rush hour, and lots of people exit the train with me.  This JA (that's "jack ass" for those of you not up on the lingo) behind me kept saying "excuse me" in my ear.  I turned and said, "I'm getting off here, too".  He proceeded to put his hand on my back *audible gasp from the blog readers* and gently push me toward the door.  It took everything within me not to turn, grab him by the throat, and scream in his face.  He was shorter than me, and this is one chap I could beat up.  No, seriously.  He was weak.  

Note to other JAs on the train: don't ever touch me.  Ever.  I don't know where you've been, and nothing gives you that right.  Also, your pushing me and running to the other platform only allowed you to wait for longer than I did.  We both got on the same train, f'er.

How Old Is Your Brain (in Japan)

There is this website with a game that tests your brain then tells you how old your brain is. The site is in Japanese, so read these instructions before you head over there:

1. Click on 'start'
2. Wait for the countdown (3, 2, 1)
3. The screen will flash a set of numbers. Try to memorize their positions.
4. Then the screen will substitute circles, one where each of the numbers was. Click on the circles in order that the previous numbers were, in order from smallest value to largest value.


At the end of the game, the program will tell you how old your brain is. Mine is 24! (Unfortunatly, my back is 83...)

"...a canoe!..."

Making Dreams Come True

I am going to start an informal dance troupe and we are going to choreograph something similar to OK Go's backyard video and we'll probably do it in the park and then we will videotape it and put it on YouTube (AND PDandJ)

Nature as art

I want to see you on the inside...

So! Have I told you guys about my back?? Here, let me say it with a picture of my insides:


This is an MRI I had done of my back to see why I was crippled with pain. Turns out the disc protrusion is pressing on my spinal cord! In doing some research, it is also thought that the disc protrusion can f up the chemicals there which can also be a cause of excruciating pain.

Let me tell you, it is FASCINATING to see one's innards.

Let's see what else we see in the picture--my belly fat. And, I assume those dark spots are poop. Or tumors.

I really need to learn more about this. For instance, why are the bones around the L45 disc whiter? What's all that BEHIND my spinal cord??

Anywhoo, when one's inside looks like this, one's outsides look as follows: I no longer walk, I shuffle. When I stand up, I grimace and grab my back and bend one leg. Then I tentatively put one leg out in front of the other and take a few halting steps before I can get anywhere. I also sleep with 4 pillows and make several adjustments during the night. There are also a couple of walkers in our house. WALKERS.

Well, just so you know, I am determined to regain flexibility and mobility. I just haven't done anything in that direction yet. Any suggestions? I am considering: yoga, acupuncture, chiropracty.

What Goes Around...

So, as many of you probably DON'T know, I started a new job today! At DU, where I worked before I became a lawyer. Now, however, I work in a completely different department in public policy--very different from my other job at DU where I worked in finance and dealt directly with students.

As many of you DO know, I met P&D at DU. (Well, technically, P at DU, then D through P, but physically I met D at DU (or nearby).)

So, returning today brought back a FLOOD of memories from my prior life at DU (1998 - 2002). Of course, I am in a new building in a completely different department, but at least having worked there before affords me a little but of a leg up.

The weirdly familiar: they gave me my old Banner ID #. I chose the same old password. There are a lot of familiar names, but, outside my old department, I can't remember who I considered friend v. foe. Oh well--clean slate. Esp since I have a new last name *incognito*

The weirdly different: the DU high school isn't there anymore--that building is now part of Daniels College of Business, as is another building across the quad. They also fancied up the quad a bit by adding some elevation and some xeric plants. Cool. AND, I took the lightrail which was very convenient, except that it dropped me off on the opposite diagonal corner of campus. At least I got a walk in!

I kept having flashbacks to memories created with P&D at DU. And, I looked up to see who is still working in our old department. Etiquette q: how does one notify former co-workers that I am back on campus but do not wish to see or speak with them unless I need something from them?

Before today, there was this element of "oh, no, I am like the loser high school kid returning to school after graduation!" but today I realized I really have moved on and this position seems like it has endless opportunity, so I felt better. But I would also like to get the message across to the people I used to work with: "I did fine as a lawyer, I just took a new opportunity."
Can I phrase it that way?

P&D--I am thinking it would be fun to stalk people we knew at lunch, and will try to post stories and pictures. It will be as if we are up to our old shenanigans. Only it's just me here. Oh well, you'll be with me in spirit!

Saturday

We're going to see "The Dark Knight" (filmed in Chicago) with some friends.  Also, S&L, I submitted my passport application *sing-songy*

This is what happens when you kill yourself during rush hour.

I'm not sure if this kind of thing makes it to the national news (it probably depends on how slow the news day is), but Tueday, a woman was hit and killed at the Argyle stop on the Red Line train in Chicago. If you take a look at the route link, you will see that Bryn Mawr (my stop) is 2 stops away from Argyle. This all happened during rush hour.

Meantime, I was innocently on my way home from work. I work in the IL Medical District, which is off the Polk Street station on the Pink Line (keep up with me, now). From Polk, I take the train to the Loop, and transfer at Clark & Lake to the Brown or Purple Line. From there, I go to Fullerton (see Argyle link) and transfer to the Red Line. As you can imagine, a "track emergency" (as it was described by our conductor) would throw a major wrench my commute home. Normally, it takes me almost one full hour to make the trip each way.

What follows is a text conversation between P and I while I was trying to get home. We had plans to go to Trader Joe's for groceries once I got home.

5:22pm D: Am on delayed train.

5:22pm P: Boo

5:23pm D: I would offer to get off at Irving Park, but it is closed. There was an accident at Argyle.

5:26pm D: And there's this douche who won't let anyone sit.

5:38pm D: *called Paul to tell him they kicked everyone off the train at Belmont because of the accident. Went to Clark street to wait for the #22 bus.*

5:47pm D: There are 60 people at this stop.

5:49pm D: And 2 buses have gone by packed.

5:51pm D: Turn on the news and find out. This guy says suicide.

5:54pm D: Hello?!

5:55pm P: Just a G.D. minute.

5:55pm D: Video games, I presume?

5:56pm P: No, betch. Was in bathroom.*

*it is also possible that P was actually playing video games, or just trying to keep up with my lightning-quick texting. It is common knowledge that P is a very slow texter.

5:56pm P: All NBC says is that a ped was struck.

5:57pm D: Good Christ, this is a cluster [bleep].

5:58pm P: Police are investigating.

5:59pm D: There is one bus I can see *packed*

6:00pm P: What about the Brown Line?

6:00pm D: Where would it make sense to take it? Irving Park is closed.

6:01pm P: I don't know.

6:02pm D: ...

6:03pm P: Can you get to Belmont and Ashland?

6:04pm D: *thumbs down* I am in pants.*

*It was very, very hot that day

6:05pm D: People are going in the back door of the bus. It is approaching a mob.

6:07pm D: Numbers of people waiting are dwindling.

6:07pm P: Are you on?

6:07pm D: No.

6:16pm P: Where?

6:17pm D: Still waiting.

6:20pm D: Just on bus.

6:20pm P: Finally.

6:24pm D: No shit.

6:29pm D: Irving Park now.

6:30pm P: Leaving.

6:35pm D: Please pull in Popeyes.

6:36pm P: Duh.

For those keeping score, I left work at 4:30pm. I got to Popeyes at 6:35pm. It took me TWO HOURS to get to this corner, which is still quite a ways from my home. Being delayed home during rush hour brings out the worst in people. I saw things that must be what war is like. A young woman actually pushed an old woman who was trying to board one of the packed buses in front of her. Another woman tried, unsuccessfully, to illegally board a bus from the back door. She was yelled at and flipped off the driver before theatrically exiting the bus. It wasn't pretty. Meantime, the local news had three helicopters circling the scene of the accident. You know, three helicopters that guzzle gas in this era of extremely high gas prices? Yeah. Good times.

6:07 AM

So I'm going on to my 3rd week of life after residency. I'm not doing what I want to be doing (I spent the last year of my residency focusing on HIV and infectious diseases so that's what I want to do!!) but I'm making good money. In fact, I got a 253% raise over what I was making as a resident. So I can't complain too much. I'm sort of taking the path of many of the ID (that's Infectious Diseases for those out of the medical field) pharmacists that I work with and starting off in critical care. However, there are currently no openings in any of the ICUs. I want to eventually be in the Medical ICU - that's where most of us (read: ID pharmacists at Northwestern) seem to start out. In the meantime, I'll enjoy making money, getting here early and getting off early and having pretty much a guaranteed 8 hour shift. There is a lot of down time in this OR pharmacy so when the anaesthesiologists aren't at my window, I'll hopefully have more time to blog. As a preview of what's in store for my next post, enjoy this fine picture:

Something I find amusing...

...when I can hear my cat peeing in her litter box.  Oh, Sheila.

p.s. that's not my cat OR my bathroom.  hahahaha@the thought of it somehow being my bathroom, but not my cat.

Live From the Backyard

There I was, minding my own business, watering the few plants I recently planted, thinking that I really hope they survive when out of nowhere a large bird swooped down just behind me and into the tree in our neighbor's yard. There was a ruckus and a bunch of smaller birds instantly flew out of the tree in all directions. Then, the big bird flew back nonchalantly up and over our roof. I was like, what the--?? but it was over before I even pieced it together: I am sure he had been perched on our roof hunting the tree full of birds. And he certainly didn't let some person who interrupted by pulling out a garden hose get in the way!

It is just funny to imagine it from a bird's eye view: "There's the tree full of prey. Wait, what's that? Oh, right: a human. But why does it have a nest on its head? Anyways, back to the prey. Three... two... one... BLAST OFF!"

BTW, I have identified the bird as a Cooper's hawk. He was slate-colored with horizontal stripes across the tail.

Mickey House

This past weekend, P and I went to Disney World.  I had a conference, and I convinced P to come with me so I didn't have to ride the rides alone.  I remember it being way more fun.  I did the College Program eight years ago and had a blast.  Maybe it was too much of a good thing?  I was definitely ready to come home.  P only stayed until Monday, and my conference lasted until Wednesday.

A couple of things:

1. The lines weren't bad at all!  I think the longest we waited in line was 40 minutes or so, and that was only on one ride.  Most of the time we were on and off in 10 minutes.  That was surprising, especially since it was a holiday weekend.
2. There were about one million fat people there.  See the example below.  This woman was at my conference.  She literally had no neck.  Two different people caught me taking this picture, but they were amused and didn't tell the woman what I was doing.  I have reason to believe they are ALL from the Midwest.  
   
3. I can't get rid of the number below, so it looks like it will have to stay.  There is no number 4, though.  In fact, there's really not a number 3, but I felt I needed to explain.
4. 

What's the Deal With Kabbalah Again?

So, as we all (should) know, Madonna is being blamed for the breakup of A-Rod's marriage. Apparently, it was an affair of the heart and A-Rod (ummmm... anyone else see how fitting this douchename is?) was infatuated with Madonna. Now, we all know Madonna is hot, but is it really true she can seduce anyone??

I have to believe this is related to Kabbalah.

In fact, many of the articles suggest the same--"Pop icon Madonna is using kabbalah to brainwash Yankee star Alex Rodriguez into believing they are 'soulmates,' the ballplayer's estranged wife is telling friends."

Which leads me ONCE AGAIN to wonder what Kabbalah is all about. Here is what I got so far: its teachings are based on ancient, mystical teachings of Judaism.

*pause*

Ech--then Wikipedia goes on from there.

I do find religion fascinating, but it seems with Kabbalah, it's really hard to get just an overview. It's as if even the Wikipedia article itself is trying to suck me into its Sefirah...

All this being said, I really hope Madonna and Guy Ritchie can stick it out. I am definitely rooting for them. Why, I have no idea. I think it's mostly because that family looks so pretty together.

I also think Cindy Rodriguez made the right move, but COME ON, like she didn't know what was going on with this guy before he got a crush on Madge?
If it jiggled, A-Rod wanted it.

Also, DAM-MIT--Drew Barrymore and Jason Long have split. This was one of my top picks as far as celebrity match ups--they seem really alike to me--good-looking, smart(ish), goofy. I think bc she's my age(ish) and we kind of grew up together (although I skipped out on the early partying and drug-use), I just want her to be happy. And yes, I do think my personal attachments to celebrities are weird sometimes.

What I Accomplished Today (A Day in the Life of the Unemployed)

I kept thinking the cats were being cute and took their pictures. These represent the highlights, taken over the course of the day.

What's your type?

So last week my entire department received an e-mail from one of our techs. She has always included "motivational"-type quotes at the end of them...in bright purple lettering with certain words EMPHASIZED. And I'm so not into that. Luckily one of my friends here at work is a kindred spirit and within minutes of each of us receiving that e-mail, she called me and was all, "WTF?" As a joke, I started finding dumb reasons to e-mail her and with each e-mail, I included a new de-motivational quote. Here are a few:



Motivation: If a pretty picture and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.



If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
-Bill Lyon



Get to work. You are not being paid to BELIEVE in the power of your DREAMS.



Later that day, I was in our anticoagulation clinic and noticed a pamphlet on stools / constipation / diarrhea / scat in general meant to be given to patients. Very serious. It's hilarious and it prompted the following words of wisdom (along with a choice picture - it's all about context with this one):

“When life gives you separate, hard lumps…squeeze harder and make it sausage-shaped with cracks on its surface!” -- P

Yes We Can!

Last week, we were contacted by an Obama Fellow, a nice young gent named Dillon. (I just think the term "fellow" is funny--I was sure to ask him about the "Obama Ladies") Dillon is 20, I think, from Steamboat Springs and is spending his summer here in Denver working for the campaign.

We were asked to host a house party on June 28th, which also happens to be my birthday. Dave had asked me about throwing a party anyways, so this made an even better excuse.

I was a little nervous people would think it was a secret fund raiser. But, one of the great things about the Obama campaign is they just want people to get involved (I mean, not just, but at this party, anyways). People so often want to get involved or think about getting involved, and yet Barack Obama's campaign gives you very specific ways you can help (registering new voters on July 4th, for example).

And Dave made the best point when he asked, "Do you think you do enough for your country?" I mean, really, we all pretty much think our country is great (even despite its faults) and yet, what do we do, actively, to show our appreciation and to contribute?

So whether you are going to vote for Obama or not, I hope you can appreciate the excitement his campaign has inspired. "We are the change we've been waiting for."

Also, you all remember Will.I.Am's video of Barack Obama's speech? This is the acapella version by a college singing group which I think is even BETTER!

*operatic* Haaaaaaaaaaaaaappy Birthdaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy...

toooooooooooo yooooooooooooooou!

Happy Birthday, Jenn!  062874

Don’t sit there like some silly girl
If you wait too long you’ll be too late
I’m not telling you something new
There ain’t no time to lose (No time to lose)
It’s time for you to celebrate

(So get down, beep beep, gotta get up outta your seat)
Get up, little girl
(Get down, beep beep, gotta get up outta your seat)
It’s time, your world
(Get down, beep beep, gotta get up outta your seat)
Your life, your choice
(Get down, beep beep, gotta get up outta your seat)
It’s time, live it up

On and on, on the beat goes
On and on, on the beat goes
On and on, on the beat goes
On and on, on the beat goes
On and on, on the beat goes
On and on, on the beat goes
On and on, on the beat goes
On and on, on the beat goes

You don’t have the luxury of time
You have got to say what’s on your mind
Your head lost in the stars
You’ll never go far (No time to lose)
It’s time for you to read the signs

(So get down, beep beep, gotta get up outta your seat)
Here comes, my hand
(Get down, beep beep, gotta get up outta your seat)
Take it, you can
(Get down, beep beep, gotta get up outta your seat)
The time, is now
(Get down, beep beep, gotta get up outta your seat)
I’ll show, you how

On and on, on the beat goes
On and on, on the beat goes
On and on, on the beat goes
On and on, on the beat goes
On and on, on the beat goes
On and on, on the beat goes
On and on, on the beat goes
On and on, on the beat goes

Say what you like, do what you feel
You know exactly who you are
The time is right now
You got to decide (woo!)
Stand in the back or be the star

(Get down, beep beep, gotta get up outta your seat)
Here comes, my hand
(Get down, beep beep, gotta get up outta your seat)
Take it, you can
(Get down, beep beep, gotta get up outta your seat)
The time, is now

(Get down, beep beep, gotta get up outta your seat)

I'll show, you how

I can’t keep waiting for you
Anticipating that you’ve
No time to lose
I can’t keep waiting for you

(Kanye West: )
Ah, it’s the M part 2 I want you, I’m gonna do to you what I want to do to you
Your girlfriend she wants too, beautiful, just flew F from perry, voulez-vous
In a city that don’t snooze, smooze a monster hoos hoos
And I use my celeb to get this one home
Why everything that feel good gotta be so wrong?

Give me room now, I’m like a vampire under a full moon now
And i don’t know about you now but I think I wanna try some'in new now
See what it do now
And when you sat down, uh, cause you was using your breath now, uh
Cause you be doin’ it to death now, she’d be doin’ either F now, what’s left now?

Mister West now, can you get any more fresh now? I think I just did just now
Talkin’ my shit that's how, I’m a profes' now
I admit that, flashin’ lights so I live that
Fame is a drum, wanna hit that?
Cause I know exactly where to get that, did you get that?

(Get down, beep beep, gotta get up outta your seat…)

On and on, the beat goes…

Gay Pride and Gay Pee

So this is Pride weekend in Chicago.  Our friend Mark is in town for the festivities.  We met Mark last Pride.  He's since moved to TX, which we constantly complain to him about, but he works for Southwest so he can fly here for free whenever he wants.

When Mark lived in Chicago, he was roommates with David (stay with me here.  This is a different David, and not me).  Last weekend, we went to the beach for a BBQ.  This was our second BBQ with David's mini grill that he got at the grocery store for $9.  It works pretty well, and apparently it's entirely legal to grill at the beach on the grass because cops passed us two different times and didn't say anything.

The only problem with grilling at the beach is that your grill gets really hot.  You have to dump the coals in order to successfully get the grill off the beach and back to your apartment.  So, we dump the coals around a tree, and then douse them with water to cool.  Well, this time we were not as close to the lake water or a drinking fountain as we were the last time, and all we had to transport water was one Styrofoam cup.  

David got tired of waiting for P, who admittedly DOES take a very long time to walk to the lake and back with a cup of water.  He decided he would pee in a second cup that we found and use that on the coals.  Before I knew what was happening, I saw this:

This is right before David realized that Styrofoam cups are weak.  As such, this cup cracked, and an all out stream of urine started running from his shorts leg.  In the end, he had an impressive cup of urine, and it did work to cool six or eight coals so that we didn't start another Great Chicago Fire.  But David's shorts were soaked.  Next time, we will be sure to bring a larger container to transport water.  Thankfully, no cops came by while this was happening.  Otherwise I might be blogging to you from jail.

Jenn Gr'08dy

Thanks for all the support, guys!

Link to News Story

DIY Home Improvement

Dave and I embarked upon improving our backyard some time ago. It is amazing how quickly it can come together with a little persistence. Our inspiration: delivery of 15 tons of sand and gravel on Friday.

This is what 15 tons looks like, if you don't already know:
















Dave did all the digging and heavy lifting. I took pictures. Oh, and squared up the pavers.




























Done! Patio I:

















I think Dave was looking for his keys...




Patio II was finished last night (before & after):
































What's left: digging out, bordering and lining and finishing a breeze walkway. Also on the agenda: addition of ground cover around patio II, garden and hopefully a gazebo-like structure over patio II. More pictures to come!

New Species Discovered: A Sign of Global Warming?

I was watering in our front yard at dusk when I spotted a hummingbird drinking nectar from our flowers. I ran to get my camera and took several shots, then zoomed in to see this:










ECH! It's some sort of alien-mutant BUG! Which is cool and all, but doesn't give you the warm fuzzies like seeing a hummingbird would. Has anyone seen anything like this?

Also, I need glasses.

UPDATE: it's a nessus sphinx

Real or Fake?

Here is a fun game to play on About.com:

You look at a picture and guess whether it's real or fake. I was definitely surprised by some of them!

Sample: Dog meets porcupine, real or fake?

All

Or, to those of us without a Southern U.S. accent, OIL.

I hardly pay attention to the news about oil. All it ever seems to be is "Oil Prices at Record High". But I would really like to UNDERSTAND what is going on and how we can best approach a solution.

In my very brief research on the subject, I learned:

Most of our (U.S.) oil comes from the U.S. (41%), North America and the Western Hemisphere (in that order)
Most of the world's oil comes from Saudi Arabia.

The Middle East has, by far, the largest oil reserves.

Hence why we are so interested in the Middle East (besides the spread of democracy and Christianity). Because even though we don't YET consume very much of their oil, we might need to. Soon.

However, you have to factor in developing nations like India and China. Their oil consumption is increasing exponentially.

I wanted to exhalt the E.U. on its investment in renewable energy resources, but apparently they have fallen short of their goals.

Of course, as a tree-hugger, I don't want to drill for more U.S. oil. I would much rather everyone concentrate on alternatives to oil and I think one of the best ways to urge consumers and industry to do that is to keep the price of oil high. People seem to pay attention to issues when they hit their pocketbook. But then again, I don't want the oil industries to realize absurd profits. And I don't want the U.S. to become even more dependent on foreign oil. And, honestly, I don't want to personally take the hit in resulting increases in food and other prices.

So, looking into WHY oil prices are so high, it seems it's not just the law of supply and demand--it has to do with investors trading commodity futures (as well as the falling value of the Dollar). Their investments in oil have inflated the price. So how is drilling for more oil (which, btw, is apparently only going to keep the U.S. running another couple of years) going to help solve that? Sounds to me like there needs to be regulations regarding that type of investment. Because, much like the housing bubble, it's going to burst and I can't wait to see what bailout the U.S. government will offer up then!

All this being said, I am still extremely ignorant of all the factors at play here, so anyone who knows more is more than welcome to comment/criticize!

Stuff

So, my grandma died. She was a super sweet lady and I think knew a lot more about life than I ever asked her about. She had the best approach--to laugh, because what else could you do? And she just took things as they came (she WAS 90...)

So, as a result, we ended up with some of her stuff. One of the nicest things my grandma did for her family was to downsize--she continually went through her stuff and weeded out the unnecessary items. She was down to a clean 2 bedroom apartment.

So Dave and I took some stuff home, stuff we thought we could use. As we tried to fit some of it in one room, Dave pointed out that just because we COULD use an item doesn't mean we SHOULD. I tend more toward the "I don't want to have to re-buy this or buy something like it down the line" mode, but then I end up with wall-to-wall STUFF. And let me tell ya, Dave and I are both feeling a little bit overwhelmed by our STUFF lately.

We have 3 bedrooms, 2 living areas, a large kitchen. PLUS, a shed. Which is huge. And FULL.

And we are 2 people.

The shed REALLY is beginning to bother me (and has Dave for some time now). I don't even know what's IN there! And if I haven't USED it, why should I KEEP it?

But then the nagging thought: bc you don't want to WASTE it (meaning, get rid of it and have to buy it again later). But, if I could find someone who could USE it, then my conscious would be appeased.

I have a real hard time just GIVING stuff away. I know someone will find it eventually, but I would like to know the right person is getting it.

I know, it's a sickness.

Anyway, we are a shed-cleaning away from a yard sale, then I think I will be able to give up and give it all away.

Also, I read this post on Anchored Nomad and it would seem she's feeling the same way (but writes a more universal statement about Americans and our need to CONSUME).

Annoying people annoy me

That's right, I used "annoy" twice in the title -- and trust me, twice wasn't enough.  There is this gaggle of jerk wads that get on my train every single morning.  They are all middle-aged and white *eye roll* and insist on talking at about a billion decibels re: things no one else cares about.  For example (and this example uses an annoying female specimen from the group, but the males are just as -- if not more -- annoying), today the topic of conversation was how Annoying Woman 1 saw "Sex and the City".  During the previews, she saw an advert for a new Richard "Jeer" (her pronunciation, not mine) movie.  She wanted everyone to know that he's still "as hot as ever".  First of all, ew.  Second of all, stfu, please.  It's 7:30am, and I'm not sure how it's possible you're even talking, much less talking about Richard "Jeer".  Kindly shut your pie hole, tell your Red Hat Society friends to do the same, get out of the way of the door, and leave everyone else in peace!  

No matter which car I get on, they find me.  And switching ends of the car doesn't matter.  You can hear them no matter where you are.  I can even hear them over my ipod (which I always manage to forget).  I know it's wrong to hate, but...

Will attempt to get a picture of them with my cell asap.

It's finally happening, part II

So, not that I have blogged very much about it, but I was not feeling very satisfied in my job. I wasn't busy, I didn't feel important, and I HATED billing hours every month.

Well, my subconscious prayer was answered last week when they laid me off!

Which, really, is good news. Now I am free to explore my options--think about what I REALLY want to do--and be picky about my next job choice.

So. Now. I am at the end of Week Two and wondering where all my time has gone! I have filled my time weighing job announcements ( Would I REALLY like working in Boulder?), assuming each one would hire me, working and re-working my resume and cover letters, and occasionally cleaning the kitchen. I had this idea I would have so much free time, I needed to make a list so I wouldn't get bored.

On the list: clean out shed, clean out office, go through and organize all the stuff I brought home from my office, work out every day, start garden, apply for at least one job per day, network, get part-time job and work on some of the home histories Dave has.

Thusfar accomplished: I have applied for 2 jobs.

Ugh.

I assume things will really start happening NEXT week!


*Just to be clear--the firm is downsizing. When I started there 5 years ago, I was one of 6 attorneys and we had 2 secretaries. They were down to just me. The other partner is retiring, so my boss would have had to pay my salary alone. And, considering I wasn't exactly working my tail off, I don't blame him for his choice.

It's finally happening!

It's official!  PD&J has a fan!  I'm going to make you more interested in the blog by forcing you to sort through the comments to find out more.  The thing is, all it's done is make P and I fight over whose posts are funnier.  

But this has gotten me wondering.  How are people finding the blog?  Is it googlable? I've just tried it and we are!  I had to put in "PD&J blog", and we were the first entry!  Much to my chagrin, it's P's post on douchetooth headsets.  Way to rub it in, google.  

Today's Tentative Itinerary

The 'rents made it to Chicago!  They also had their first experience on the L (nothing to report).  Here's a look at today's schedule (pronounced SHED-ule):

1. Breakfast at Orange.
2. Visit Chicago's famous Magnificent Mile.
3. Light lunch (TBD)
4. Afternoon drink in the John Hancock Center's 95th floor Signature Lounge.
5. 90-min Lake Michigan/Chicago River Boat Tour.
6. Dinner (TBD)

70's chic

I meant to post this yesterday and forgot.  I was waiting for the train, and this guy's pants struck me as odd.  You might not be able to tell from the slightly blurry camera phone shot above, but his cuffs are HUGE.  They are like bell bottom dress pants.  I commend him on the length of his pants (the length was absolutely perfect), but wtf were you thinking?  It looks like he took a giant's pants, cut the legs off, and sewed them up.  

On your knees, biotch

Throughout Middle School, High School, and College, my summers were spent at Crossroads Ice Cream Stand in Dresden, NY.  One of the many things I learned while working there (other than the value of air conditioning -- we did not have it) was that there is no substitute for a good, old fashioned, on-your-knees floor scrubbing.  I complained about it at the time, and no one could stand to be around me because of the strong bleach smell, but it's one of the things that has stuck with me ever since.

One of the worst purchases that I ever made was the Swiffer Sweeper.  All it does is spread the mess around, spray sticky chemicals all over the place, and waste resources since you have to buy replacement pads constantly.  P is the only person who uses the thing, and every single time he does, I have to clean up after it.  

Tonight, I did what I've been threatening to do since we bought it.

I don't have time to clean up after my cleaning supplies.  I buy cleaning supplies to clean, not to make a larger mess.  And honestly, sweeper, I've given you PLENTY of chances.  Our relationship had to come to an end.  I think we both knew it wasn't working.  Please tell your friends automatic shower cleaner, daily shower spray and the rest to stay away if they know what's good for them.  We have a LOT of dumpsters in our alley (as you can probably tell from the picture).  

Train Freak of the Day

The above photo was covertly taken by me on my way home from work this evening.  I was on the Red Line.  Here's what the rest of this person looked like: 

• Jet black pigtails with tightly shaved and bleached blonde hair on the back of her head
  
• Shaved eyebrows (and none drawn in)
• A spikey piercing through her lower lip in the center of her mouth
• Super-short shirt dress with ruffles at the waist
• Military jacket 
• Stick legs

In short, she was a hot mess -- with a surprising jolt of femininity (based entirely on the delicate ruffles at her waist).

I also took a picture of a man who looked remarkably like Colonel Sanders, but it didn't come out.

Grandpa's story time

Tonight is an historic night. Barack Obama is the presumptive Democratic nominee...the first African American presidential nominee. (We here at PD & J know deep down that it was this blog's endorsement that put him over the top. NBC news projected that we are worth 0.0001 super delegates.) However, one man tried to get in on this historic night, crash the party if you will: John McCain.

We were just watching his speech in Louisiana. Despite what the talking heads on cable news say, it was an awful speech. Both Hillary and Barack are head and shoulders above him in terms of their ability to inspire. To me, it sounded like an old man reading a story to a child. That's partly because he WAS reading it. And it was almost as if there were cues to him for different forms of nonverbal communication, gestures. *Smile here* *Chuckle here* *Nod head knowingly here* *Shake head for affect here*

Luckily, MSNBC cut him off early to announce that Obama had essentially won the nomination by garnering enough of the vote in South Dakota.

Also, it reminded me of the Andy Dick bit where he played Bush's speech writer. Watch it!

So broke!

Has anyone else noticed lately that they don't have ANY extra spending cash? I really don't feel like my spending habits have changed but for the past several months, I get to the end of a pay period, just before payday and I am BROKE. I have dipped in to my line of credit (a life saver as without it, I would have overdrafted at least a dozen times over the last 2 years) more recently than ever. Basically, my money does not go very far anymore. And I blame out of control inflation and increased cost of living.

And do you know who I blame for that? Bush and his cronies. (Then again, I pretty much blame everything on Bush..."Oh, you got fired from your job? I blame Bush." Or, "Oh, your daughter flunked out of high school? I blame Bush." Or, "Oh, you got syphilis over the weekend from too much orgy sex? I blame Bush.") But all joking aside, it's all a ripple effect...Iraq war leads to higher oil prices which leads to higher gas prices which leads to higher food prices...and higher prices for everything else. Has anyone tried to book a flight or hotel recently? THEY ARE RIDICULOUS. And you know what? I BLAME BUSH.

Does anyone else feel like they are just waiting for the other shoe to drop? Something's gotta give, right? I mean luckily for me, in a few weeks I'll start making really good money. But in this country, most people are really getting screwed. The poor are getting poorer and the middle class is shrinking. But Bush's cronies aren't hurting...

BTW, that picture...all I did was do a google image search for "no money" and found that. I have never heard of Henry Lee Summer but I totally dig his hot hair and I just know that if I heard his music, I'd love it.

The Bedroom

Funny story: The only real picture we have of the bedroom prior to the paint job is this, but you can see that the walls were a sage green and beige combo:
Why this is funny: I was blitzed beyond belief.  We had had a dinner party, and between six of us, we polished off eight bottles of wine.  We made a Korean feast, which went over very well.  Anyway, the above picture came about after I passed out for the night.  Two of our guests were passed out on our couch, and P and two other friends were performing to Madonna's entire concert DVD collection.  

What happened right after this: I threw up (red wine) all over our beige carpet.  And I cleaned it up with our Dyson, which only recently lost that pleasant puke smell we all know and love. 

I don't know about you, but I always hate it when before and after shots look too dissimilar: 

The red pillows will eventually be gone, once we find replacements.  But, three of the walls are now blue.  The one behind the bed is a milk chocolate.  Here's a better picture (though it is not nearly as funny):

A cat had just jumped on the bed, hence the imperfect duvet cover.  The colors are deeper than they look in the picture, but we like it a lot.  Even Paul.  And he complained nonstop about having to paint.

Humorous Post Coming Soon

Let it be known that a relatively humorous post will appear here soon.  But not tonight.  Daddy had a bad day at work.  Public comments welcomed.

EDIT: Having just put my computer to sleep for the night, I walked into the bedroom to flop down on the bed and almost stepped in cat puke.  I then quickly realized that I forgot the paper towels at the store (again), and so had to use napkins to clean it up.  I got throw up on my finger (yes, I washed my hands before sitting down to type this).  And I was just thinking it might be nice to get the cats something from this website.  FAT CHANCE, JERKS!

The Stallion

I just took this quiz on TestCafe.com in order to generate my mob name. The funniest part is I answered the last question "false" and it said it wouldn't assign me a name because I wouldn't fit in "da family". hahahaha
Among the questions the Mob Name Quiz asks:

What typa mobster is I?
I'm smart and can tink real good wit da numbers
I usually just lift da boxes and punch people
Everybody else is short
Everybody else is tall
I would rather eat a juicy steak than make da sweet love
I would rather make da sweet love than eat da stupid steak
If my car is blown up in da parkin' lot, I take da cab home
If my car is blown up in da parkin' lot, I go inta hidin'
If da sun is shinin', it's gonna be a good day
If da sun is shinin', da sniper can pick me off bettah
I tend ta get upset real easy-like
I stay calm mosta da time
I get goaded inta doin' jobs for alla my buddies
I goad some punks inta doin' da jobs for me
I'm good at da gamblin'
I'm real bad at da gamblin'
I bashed a coupla guys' heads in before
I ain't never bashed nobody's heads in

STUPID KITTY

There is nothing like the smell of cat piss to start the day off right! That's what we woke up to this morning...in a most unexpected place: our laundry basket. Luckily we had stopped putting clothes in the basket several weeks ago after some of them suspiciously had that distinctive cat piss odor...which doesn't wash out, by the way.



Once we had settled down, cleaned it up and gotten the cats out of hiding (they BOTH had a guilty look), we found out about the events of last night that led up to the now-infamous Cat-Piss-In-Laundry-Basket Incident: 2008 Edition.



It all started innocently enough with a forty of Schlitz Malt Liquor (follow that link - hilarious!) that Cole was able to buy despite the fact that his "fake ID" was actually David's ID from work. Cole & Sheila split it and then cracked open a dime bag of schwag (I spent time amongst potheads in college...studying their fascination with Phish so I knew right away the confiscated goods were just that...schwag). Well, Cole can't handle his THC and gets very paranoid. And the cheap intoxication of Schlitz only made the paranoia fodder for Sheila...she played him like a two-bit whore and convinced him that The Strangers were on our back patio (this would have scared the shit out of David too had he not been sound asleep).



Cole was so freaked out and under the influence that he refused to leave our bedroom. He stayed under our bed for 4 hours and 32 minutes while Sheila continued to play Digital Underground's "Humpty Dance" over and over again. Of course, drinking 20 ounces of cheap malt liquor is bound to catch up to you and Cole certainly does not have a bladder of steal. He had to "piss like a race whore" (his misuse, not mine) and crept out from under the bed. He saw the laundry basket and in his high / drunk state, thought to himself, "OH THANK JEEBUS! They moved the litterbox in here! Well, now...I'll just hop on in...I don't remember the sides being so high...and didn't this thing have a top...and guys sure need to put more litter in here...WHO THE F PUT A HANGER IN MY LITTERBOX? OH SHIT, WAS THAT THE STRANGERS!?!? NOBODY HERE, STRANGERS!"



And that's how the cat piss got in our laundry basket. So once Cole recovers from the night, I am going to hang this picture above our laundry basket to remind cole that it isn't his "pissin' hole":