What's your type?

So last week my entire department received an e-mail from one of our techs. She has always included "motivational"-type quotes at the end of them...in bright purple lettering with certain words EMPHASIZED. And I'm so not into that. Luckily one of my friends here at work is a kindred spirit and within minutes of each of us receiving that e-mail, she called me and was all, "WTF?" As a joke, I started finding dumb reasons to e-mail her and with each e-mail, I included a new de-motivational quote. Here are a few:



Motivation: If a pretty picture and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.



If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
-Bill Lyon



Get to work. You are not being paid to BELIEVE in the power of your DREAMS.



Later that day, I was in our anticoagulation clinic and noticed a pamphlet on stools / constipation / diarrhea / scat in general meant to be given to patients. Very serious. It's hilarious and it prompted the following words of wisdom (along with a choice picture - it's all about context with this one):

“When life gives you separate, hard lumps…squeeze harder and make it sausage-shaped with cracks on its surface!” -- P