Fake X-Mas Madness!

'Twas the morning of fake X-Mas when all through the house

Jenn was stirring in her worn-out-last-night blouse

The fake tree was trimmed by David... who cares?

Jenn was showing off her cheap, taudry X-mas wares

Paul can't be anymore creative than that

It's still early but we have to work on getting fat

Sorry... we have apparently killed this blog!

Maybe we can work on it this weekend now that J FINALLY has internet at home. Welcome to the 20th century!

Funny Pic

Why this is funny: I THOUGHT I had posted the original image of this poor little girl running away from a ferocious-looking dog, but can't find it.  Apparently, other people thought the sheer terror on her face was HILARIOUS and they've Photoshopped her into different scenarios.  The above was the best one.  Says me.

An open letter to the CTA

Dear CTA Administration,

I would call myself a pretty loyal customer.  I take the train to and from work each and every day, Monday through Friday.  Each way includes two transfers to different lines.  I've noticed some things that I thought were worthy of pointing out.

1. I'm not sure what exactll is going on with the track switches in the loop, but my pink line train sits (on average) five minutes when trying to enter the loop on the way home.  There's one man that usually rides in my car (no matter which car I choose!) that gets pretty violently angry when this happens.  He swears very loudly and says things like, "This train is already ten minutes late!  Come on!  Let's go! *expletive*".  You can tell it makes the passengers uncomfortable, so if not for me, would you consider fixing whatever it is at issue?
2. When your trains are late, they tend to get overcrowded.  Duh, right?  Well, also "duh" is that when that happens, it's going to cause (a) people to try and cram themselves into whatever little space there is in a train when one happens by and (b) an increase in the amount of time it takes at each stop.  More people = more time getting around the crowd that has formed at each door.  One thing that doesn't really help the situation is when the train operator comes on the loud speaker to chastise paying customers for trying to get on the train.  Everyone just wants to get home.
3. The phrase, "there's an immediate follower directly behind me" really means nothing to passengers.  That's because (a) they've been waiting for probably 15-20 minutes already for a train, so the thought of waiting longer isn't terribly welcome news and (b) the "immediate follower" will be just as crammed full as the train sitting in the station.  
4. When trains get behind, one or more of them tend to run express to some stop that no one seems to want to go to.  I understand you're trying to get things back on schedule, but seriously?  During rush hour?  You're going to run express from Belmont (major stop way before the end of the line) to the end of the line at Howard?  Doesn't that just make the red line the purple line?
5. I can't help but think things like "If the CTA was a restaurant, it would have closed in the first week after it opened!" when I ride your trains.  That's because some of the people that work for you (not all, but some) are not very good at their jobs.  Your employees are providing a service to the people of this good city.  People pay to ride the train.  So, that means that the people that work in the stations and drive those trains should at least pretend to want to help the people they meet.  Let me provide a personal experience for you.  One of my friends was in town a couple of months ago.  We went to the station to get on the train and my fare card didn't work when I tried to pass it back to her.  I pay monthly and know that my credit card is tied to my account just for such situations.  When my card didn't work, instead of being helpful, the station attendant said I "wasn't using [the card] correctly".  Really?  Cause all you do is touch it to the little pad thing on the turnstile.  So what wasn't I doing correctly, do you think?  A helpful response would have gone something like, "I'm sorry for your trouble, sir.  Please step through this gate since I know that you have an account with us and I'm sure something is at issue.  Here is the number for our customer service folks so you can get that fixed.  Enjoy your day!"

Thank you for your consideration in these matters.  I truly do think that if you fix these (and similar) issues, we might actually get the Olympics in Chicago someday.  Until then, let's focus on some smaller event -- like a Cubs game!  But that's for another letter.

Yours in concern,

D

Diarrhea (fft! fft!)

I just don't know what to do with our little Boston Terrier eating machine.  As I'm sure most of you know by now, Fergie has had bouts with diarrhea since we got her.  We've tried four different kinds of food, contacted the breeder we got her from, have made several vet appointments, and have googled "diarrhea and 'Boston Terrier'" 'til our fingers bled.  We've been assured that she'll grow out of it.  And I'm sure she will but in the interim, it's obnoxious.  Don't get me wrong -- I feel for my little schnarfey, but come on!  The current batch comes after a three-week period of relative firmness.  We think what set it off is THE CUP OF CAT FOOD THAT SHE ATE the other night.  Needless to say, P fixed the broken dog gate immediately following.

Other recent developments with The Ferg include:

1. She has taken to air humping her bed.  No matter how much you try and stop her, she won't.  
2. She will stand in front of P (not me, just P) and bark at him for no apparent reason.  This drives P bonkers.
3. Originally we thought she didn't shed.  We were wrong.
4. She insists on eating sticks (which end up in her poop).
5. She gets carsick.  That should make for fun road trips during Thanksgiving and Christmas!

I didn't mean for this post to be anti-Fergie.  I love her to death.  Here she is doing her best to look completely uninterested in everything.

  

B-cycle!

So I have been intrigued by the Denver bike sharing program, B-cycle.  They have several kiosks around DU. 

Saturday, I walked around the new neighborhood and saw that Highlands also has a ton of B-cycle kiosks.  And, I should add--I hate my new commute.  I have walked or biked a short distance to work for almost TEN YEARS now.  Now, I live 10 miles from work (which B says doesn't REALLY qualify as a commute).  SO, I decided to bike to work!

Well, technically, I decided to bike HOME yesterday.  It was DELIGHTFUL!  My route took me along Wash Park, then the Cherry Creek trail, to Commons Park and across the pedestrian bridge over I-25 to the Highlands (not having to bike in the road helps a LOT).

It took me 45 minutes kiosk to kiosk.  Then I had about a 20 minute walk home. 

So, I decided to keep at it and ride to work today.  Let me add that I am not a strong bike rider.  We lived at the top of a hill on a busy street when I was growing up so I didn't ride much.  I'm slow and I'm scared of traffic (hell, ask David--I'm skittish about cars IN my car!)

So the commute TO work is a tad more difficult than the one home.  For one thing, it's all uphill.  For another, the bikes only have 3 gears.  I won't say it was a HILLY ride, but there was one point in Wash Park I wasn't entirely convinced I was going to pass an old lady power-walking.

I just kept thinking, "This is hard!"  That usually translates to "Well, then don't do it if it's hard."  Which got me thinking about all the times I've avoided things because they're hard.  Which made me remember that there's no point having goals if you're just going to quit when it gets hard.  I don't want to add to the traffic and air quality problems we have in Denver.  And, I'd like to be more active.  So I will keep at it.  Until it gets REALLY hard.

Adventures on I-70

This weekend, I decided to head up to Eagle for the day.  I wanted to see Jill and Lainey, and to see how far Eagle is from our new place since we're waaaaay closer to I-70 now (still 2 hours).  AND, I wanted to see some fall color since it never lasts for long in Colorado! 

I had a lovely time in Eagle (we had pumpkin pancakes and coffee, hiked to the park--no such thing as a walk in Eagle!, then had lunch and I was off again to head back home to get stuff done around the house).  But I just HAD to stop to take some pictures outside of Vail:

So I was happily driving along I-70 thinking how EASY it had been to get Eagle and back in a day when I pulled up to this:

And saw THIS behind me:

The electronic billboard had told me there was an RV fire at MM 188, but I didn't think much of it until we were stuck for AN HOUR 3 miles behind it.  Luckily, I was tired anyways, so took a nap, then played with the setting on my camera.  Once we started moving, it still took us another 30 minutes to get 3 miles, but here's what the RV looked like after the fire:

New Olympus PEN

Soaked! And proof I need a new point-and-shoot

Thursday night we went to see Scissor Sisters at the Riveria, which is only 3 blocks from our place. But when we got out, it was pouring rain. We got SOAKED. I had to document it in the spirit of J and the result is... I see my point-and-shoot camera now sucks. It hasn't been the same since a trip to the beach this summer. Luckily I got some really good pictures of my niece Maddy. And thankfully D got me an Olympus PEN for our anniversary. Now once I learn how to use that effectively, you'll hopefully see the results.

Fergie & the disaster

Fergie surveying the damage after our great room flooded. You will note the exact moment the scale of the disaster finally sinks in...

Studio Livin'

That's what it's like, people.  Two cats, a dog and two homeowners crammed into a master bedroom while the rest of the condo is a disaster.  The second bedroom and hallway are full of everything that should be in the living room/kitchen.  I can't even bring myself to take pictures of it all right now.  But maybe this will give you some idea of the scale of The Mess.

Those bags contain what were our hardwood floors.  That's a lot of bags, no?  It's all very sad.  Adding to this fun, a couple of other things have come up.

1. My car's "check engine" light came on.  It comes on (and stays on) when the manufacturer feels you should take it in.  This time it was cause I reached 25,000 miles.  This was especially important because I need new tags in August, which require my car to pass an emissions test.  They automatically fail you if your check engine light is on.  So, I took it in and learned that it would cost "a minimum of $330" to change all the fluids and do the 25,000 check.  Next thing I know, I have two voicemails and several missed calls from the dealer and P.  Apparently when they couldn't reach me, they called him.  When I called them back, they told me my front rotors and break pads needed replacing, and that it wasn't safe not to replace them.  When I got my 15,000 mile check-up, I had my rotors resurfaced and my break pads replaced.  This was in 2006.  As you can see, I don't drive my car very much.  It's a 2004 with 25,000 miles, and it was a program car, so it had 5,000 miles on it when I bought it.  I guess that's part of the problem.  I know nothing about cars, but this man tells me that normal breaking will remove surface rust from your rotors.  Since I don't really do much "normal breaking", my rotors rusted through.  Total cost: $714.
2. This whole "studio living" thing isn't so good for interpersonal relationships.  So, we needed to get out of the house.  We met our friend Mike at Wild Pug for "Dog Day Afternoon".  The bar opens its doors to pets and their owners, and all the dogs run around and tire each other out while their people get drunk.  It's a real good time and Fergie loves it.  When we came back home to show Mike the devastation in our unit, we noticed that there was water leaking out of the freezer.  There wasn't much water, but there isn't much floor, so the water was in danger of hitting the subfloor, which can't be good.  I called our insurance company immediately because I had visions of a "well, since you didn't call us about this, this isn't covered" kind of conversation.  They told me to call the adjuster, which I did.  He didn't answer, so I left a VM.  Still waiting for a call back.  I also tried calling the company that did the floor removal but got some poor man in the Hinsdale branch who had no record of our service call.  To that man, I apologize.  I wasn't in a terribly good mood.  I eventually got the correct number.  They've put a large piece of plastic over the door to our living room/kitchen -- it's a bit like "ET".  They set up five air movers and a huge dehumidifier to dry the subfloors.  The A/C sensor is in the hallway, on the other side of the plastic.  So, the living room was pretty hot compared to the rest of our condo.  The freezer began to defrost.  I think we've got it under control now, but it made for a very tense evening.  Again, those interpersonal relationships are hard in situations like these.  

That's pretty much it for the disasters.  Knock on wood!  On today's agenda: move the cable box into the bedroom so we can watch our programs.  Cause we're 80 and are set in our ways.  

Disaster area

This blog post coming to you live from a newly declared disaster area. The floors are being torn up, and air movers and dehumidifiers are being brought in to deal with the water. More on this developing story at 11.

Maybe just give this video a chance?

Maddy, 8 months

I've been absent from this blog for a long, long time. Meh. I won't make any excuses.

But what better, easier way to blog than to show off pictures of my adorable niece, Maddy!

My brother, sister-in-law and Maddy recently came to visit Chicago for a wedding and I got to spend a lot of time with Maddy. So now I'm just going to fill up the rest of this post with pictures.

The Big Flood

I stumbled out to our living room at 4:45am this morning and immediately stepped in a large puddle on our floor.

Me: uh oh!

Also, I heard water running. I turned on the lights to find that our water dispenser in our refrigerator was stuck in the "on" position. Apparently it had been for a while as our great room (there, I said it, Paul) was covered in water. I tried switching the function from water to ice (it was early, people!) and then ice starting coming out. Then I got the bright idea to lock the dispenser -- you know that little button that says "lock - hold for 3 seconds"? That worked.

Then the clean up began. It took every towel and blanket we had to mop up the water, all of which are molding in our tub as I type. We both had to work. The only thing that saved us was our 8x10 area rug. Those suckers can hold a ton of water! So much that it held back the puddle (by 8 inches, or so) from reaching our power strip behind the tv. The rug is ruined and was immediately left by the dumpster. And it took two hours or so to clean up all the water.

What freaks me out is, what if we'd been on vacation or had slept in?! Ack! It looks like we avoided permanent damage. Or at least we hope so. I guess we'll find out when we try to sell the place.

A word to the wise: when you leave your house or go to sleep, lock your ice dispenser. I know I will!

Jenn? Frugal?

Okay, it's true.  Sometimes I'm not frugal at all, then I will decide $1 is to much to pay for something.  *shrug*

BUT, yesterday I saw that Target was having a Black Friday sale. Starting at midnight Pacific time.  And the featured item?

Philips 47" Class 1080p 120Hz LCD HDTV

A tv is something I have been frugal about since the late 1990s, when I acquired my current tv (for free).  But ever since my lover moved in, all I've heard about is how we NEED a new tv.  And, I have to admit, with the HD conversion, we miss dialogue and part of the picture.  No foolin'.  Modern tv was not made to watch on a 27" square box.

So, I set my alarm for 1:50am, which proved far too early since all I had to do was ask B for his iPhone and get to target.com.  So, I waited another 8 1/2 minutes and then hit the "Buy Now" button.  I don't know why the whole process took 45 minutes, but it did.  I chalk it up to late-night confusion and my chubby fingers having difficulties navigating the website.  So, I just confirmed I did buy the tv - for $699.  Quite a bargain, no?  But now we have to update our Directv package and buy a tv stand.  Or do we?  *calculating possible savings*

David's Visit (Addendum)

So J pretty much said it all in her post.  From my perspective, it was certainly hot.  But it's a dry heat, so...  More what was at issue for me was J's insistence on being frugal at weird times.  Examples:

1. She would insist on unplugging the air conditioner during the hottest part of the day.  Then we would come home to a sauna and sweat ourselves to sleep on her couch.
2. The car key.  This is how I roll: had I been buying her car, I would have demanded a second key as part of the deal.  At the very least, I would have had a key made immediately -- not because I would lose the key, but because I would worry I would lose the key.
3. The muddler.  EVERYONE knows you NEED a muddler to make a proper mojito.  J thinks a muddler completely unnecessary.  For that, I feel sorry for her.

I do have some bits to add.  The mojito I was holding in the photo looked like this when it was first made.

OK, not FIRST made as you can tell I drank a bit of it.  But doesn't it look refreshing?!

This was the most interesting part of our trip to Lowry because it made me think of my dog:

This was a damn good bowl of noodles.  And it makes me remember a very interesting part of the weekend.  Two different times I told J that something she was eating would cause an explosion in the bathroom.  Guess how many times I was right!?  That's right!  TWO!  The first is this fancy noodle dish. The second was her Thai Iced Tea at Thai Basil.  The most interesting part is that J rarely poops.  We're talking twice a month.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the picture that saved us from having to ride the bus a second time.  Thank you, Kelly, for driving us everywhere this weekend.  J owes you one.  I don't because I was only a guest.

Lastly, J is being modest.  She didn't drop me off at the LIGHTRAIL on my last day.  She drove me all the way downtown!  Sure, it was mostly to get to work later than she would have otherwise, but still!

David's Visit

Well, FIRST of all, while I was so happy to get to see David again, I was so sad Paul couldn't come.  It just wasn't the same without him.

In setting the scene for the weekend, I shall refer to this article in the Denver Post:

102-degree reading breaks Denver temperature record

It was hot.  We have ceiling fans, box fans and a small air conditioning window unit in the dining room which all adds up to a near-constant oppressive heat.

Which explains a lot of sleepiness and lounging on the couch.  (Thank God for that couch.)

Friday, I picked David up from DIA and we fought traffic all the way to Garbanzos.  When we finally got there, we were both starving.  But the guy in front of us had apparently never been to one (or to a restaurant or out in public, is my guess), so the employees took turns walking him through the process of pointing at what he wanted.

Garbanzos is GOOD and David agrees.

So then my big idea was to go to Lowry for a free concert.  Concerned it would only be the two of us, David asked what I had done to alienate everyone.  Or, he wondered, is Paul the real draw?

On the way to Lowry, my AT light went on on my dashboard.  *waiting for it*  Exactly.  I had no idea what that meant, either.  So, David pulled out the car manual.  It basically said to stop driving immediately.  Not satisfied with that explanation, David Googled it on his phone (Thank God for the iPhone) and before it fully loaded, he read aloud the words "major mechanical".  Super.

We went anyways and immediately realized it was not for us.  I can't quite explain why.  Too white.  Too many kids.  Too many people sway-dancing.  We spotted a Salty Rita's and headed right for it.

I forget what David is showing me here.  But what's up with the 2 nosy girls behind him?

A marg each under our belts, we decided to walk over to Savory Spice, but it was closed.  We then decided to brave the crowd and get our $5 burrito and drink at Qdoba.  As soon as we walked it, though, it looked like Disneyland--there was a line 8 miles long!  I heard David behind me, "How dedicated are we to this?"  Not very.

So we drove all the way back to my house in what apparently was my undriveable car.  On the way, I pointed out Jordan's Bistro by DU.  As we arrived at my house, we had finally decided Jordan's looked like our best option.  So we drove over there.  (One hundred degrees, people!!)

We split a $5 pizzas and had a couple of beers.  Then headed home for some couch time.  In fact, David and I were sprawled-out asleep on it when Brian got home.

Kelly came and hung out with us Sat.  I had to take my car in (oil change and turning the AT light off = $100), so she drove us around town.  It was fun.  We helped her pick out a dress for an upcoming wedding (no, not HER wedding), then ate lunch at Thai Basil.

That place is so very good.  We had sesame chicken and Pad Thai.  I had a Thai iced tea which came from a warning from David.  Which came true, but still--SO good.

When we got back to the couch, I made mojitos.  

See?  Mo-HEE-to.

David was appalled we didn't have a muddler.  As he went on and on about it, he sounded JUST LIKE BRIAN.  I decided they were in cahoots.

B and I decided to take David to one of our favorite restaurants, Bones.  It is just about perfect.

  See?  These are the pork belly sticky buns.

We sat at the bar because it's tiny and we couldn't make timely reservations.  B commented that it might not have been the best idea to sit next to the grill on a hot day (102 degrees, remember?).  It was hot, but so fun to watch the chefs in action.  

We had:

• pork belly sticky buns

• escargot potstickers

• ramen with poached lobster, edamame and miso lobster broth.

Incredible.  Seriously.  Best meal ever.

David eating with gusto

Brian had been up eeeeaaarrrllly, so we took him back home.  Meanwhile, we were supposed to meet Sarah Uptown.  I told her 10 minutes and we showed up in 35.  Good ol' good-natured Sarah!

"Hiyaaaah!!"

We met her at JR's after she said the drag show at Hamburger Mary's sounded depressing.  We drank vodka sodas with lime.  Damn, they were strong.

Not that you'd know it from this picture or anything as we used each other for support.

I had intended on a somewhat early evening and driving home.  But, after a short nap in the car, decided that wasn't such a hot idea.  Here's Sarah hailing us a cab:

 

 

 

"Hiyaaaaah!!!"

And then...  this:

*still waiting for a cab*

Yeah, it was That Kind of night.

We got into the cab around 3am.  We took Sarah home first ("Byeee!!"), then chatted up the cabbie on the way home.  

We then proceeded to sleep it off.  Well, me more so than David.

The first order of business Sun, then, was obviously to go get the car.  But first I had to find my key.  And I couldn't.  I have NO EARTHLY IDEA what happened to it.  And no, I didn't have a spare.  I bought the car in Feb and it was on my to-do list, but you know how those things go.

So we called Kelly,  She'd know what to do!

She drove us to the car and we tried to use The Secret(tm) to find the key, but the stupid Secret(tm) doesn't work (or, maybe I did have some doubt it would work and that's why it didn't work. It's sort of a complicated principle.) So we ate breakfast at Steuben's.  It was good.  And we all needed it (Kelly had had her own drink-fest the night before).  

Anyway.  I decided to call some locksmiths from home.  Kelly dropped us off and there was some more couch-sitting until I hit upon one that said he'd meet me at the car in an hour.

Not wanting to bother Kelly, I devised a plan to take the bus.

David was not what you'd call "enthusiastic" about this plan.

But, he went through with it.  Mostly because I hadn't yet burst into tears re: the whole key thing.

It was too hot in the sun, so we waited across the street in the shade and then scurried across it when we saw the bus coming.

It was air conditioned, so that was a treat.  What was not a treat was the old man who got on at Wash Park, then turned to face us as the bus took off.  He started chatting in a mumbling sort of way about the heat... and 2 year olds... and gorillas... at least that was what we could make out without asking him to speak up. 

We successfully did not engage with him, so arrived downtown in good time.  Oh--and this is after the bus TURNED at one point unexpectedly.  Still, it got us way closer than we would have been otherwise (remember: it was record-breaking hot).  

We went to Hamburger Mary's for a milkshake since we arrived too early for the locksmith.

Doesn't that look good?  Yeah, well, it wasn't.  It was too milky and had no flavor.  We were not impressed.

So added to THAT letdown, while there, the locksmith called to say he couldn't make a key without towing it to the dealer.  But dealerships are closed on Sundays.  At least I didn't have to worry about a parking ticket!!

So then we headed back to the bus stop.  David had already looked up the schedule (again: thank God for that iPhone) and we knew we had a wait.  As we waited, this woman approached us and said two things:

"The bus comes every half hour.  I don't know what to tell you."

We were like, "Okaaaay..."

Then she walked away, but mumbled that it was 1:30pm and about 95 degrees.

We sat for some time.  I took pictures of the tree overhead.

Then Crazy Lady (I should also mention she was wearing long sleeves and pants--all black) came back!  She sat down beside us and started talking about how there are so many crazy people out there (*wide-eyed look exchanged between me and David*).  Then B called, so I left those two alone.

Next thing I know, Kelly's on her way.  I'll let David explain how that came about.

Sunday night was City Park Jazz.  Having to come pick us up, there wasn't time to make anything, so the 3 of us stopped at the store.  I had to do some convincing to still go (again, it was near 100 degrees and it had been, as I described, a long-ass day).

We made it to the Park.  We couldn't really hear the music and it was hella crowded, but always fun to join the community and have a picnic with friends!

The adorable couple.

The other adorable couple.

*Not pictured: Karen was there, too*

Sarah took us home and we were spent.

Monday morning, I walked David to the lightrail and sent him on his way, then headed to work.  After work, everyone came over for a bbq.  Yay!!

Right before everyone got there, Brian had "there's not enough food panic".  We've all had it when we host.  You don't want people to be satisfied--you want them STUFFED!  So I had to run to the store for hamburger.  

When everyone arrived, B then Sarah made mojitos.  Official Drink of the Summer.  Brian did all the cooking.  

 At the grill.

The food came out in courses:

• crab cakes

• crab-stuffed shrimp

• adobo chicken

• ribs

• hamburgers

Not to mention the chickpea salad, quinoa salad, watermelon, chips and salsa, leftover boneless chicken wings, and tomato-cucumber salad.  See now why I was reluctant to make that last trip to the store?

Anyways, it was, as expected, a fun time.

 David being hilarious.

David talking to Paul.  Hi, Paul!!

At one point, about a dozen flies descended on the food at the table.  We kept trying to shoo them away.  I noticed one fly sitting on the electric wires above us watching his minions.  

They eventually left and, sure enough--when I looked up the Fly Leader was gone, too.

Karen made a chocolate pudding pie for dessert.

YUM!

I wanted to add this photo last.  I'm not sure what ruined it for David, but he's obviously stopped having a good time.

Tues, B drove David downtown (after giving me a look like some friend I was being for NOT driving him to the Convention Center) and I went (yes, AGAIN) to work.  Via email, Kelly and I hatched a plan for the evening to go to happy hour at Lime and eat $1 tacos.

When I got there, those 2 were well into the chips and salsa and their 1st margaritas.  I took one sip of mine and it gave me goosebumps--they were ridiculously strong for $3.

But the tacos were excellent, esp for $1.

I should also mentioned it rained on us so we had to move inside.  The record-breaking heat had FINALLY broken!

David and I headed back home and watched Pawn Stars.  (Paul's thinking, "What? No "America: The Story of Us"?"  Waited for B to get home, watched Glee, went to bed.

I drove him to the lightrail station the next morning and said goodbye.  It sure was a fun weekend!!!