Once we had settled down, cleaned it up and gotten the cats out of hiding (they BOTH had a guilty look), we found out about the events of last night that led up to the now-infamous Cat-Piss-In-Laundry-Basket Incident: 2008 Edition.
It all started innocently enough with a forty of Schlitz Malt Liquor (follow that link - hilarious!) that Cole was able to buy despite the fact that his "fake ID" was actually David's ID from work. Cole & Sheila split it and then cracked open a dime bag of schwag (I spent time amongst potheads in college...studying their fascination with Phish so I knew right away the confiscated goods were just that...schwag). Well, Cole can't handle his THC and gets very paranoid. And the cheap intoxication of Schlitz only made the paranoia fodder for Sheila...she played him like a two-bit whore and convinced him that The Strangers were on our back patio (this would have scared the shit out of David too had he not been sound asleep).
Cole was so freaked out and under the influence that he refused to leave our bedroom. He stayed under our bed for 4 hours and 32 minutes while Sheila continued to play Digital Underground's "Humpty Dance" over and over again. Of course, drinking 20 ounces of cheap malt liquor is bound to catch up to you and Cole certainly does not have a bladder of steal. He had to "piss like a race whore" (his misuse, not mine) and crept out from under the bed. He saw the laundry basket and in his high / drunk state, thought to himself, "OH THANK JEEBUS! They moved the litterbox in here! Well, now...I'll just hop on in...I don't remember the sides being so high...and didn't this thing have a top...and guys sure need to put more litter in here...WHO THE F PUT A HANGER IN MY LITTERBOX? OH SHIT, WAS THAT THE STRANGERS!?!? NOBODY HERE, STRANGERS!"
And that's how the cat piss got in our laundry basket. So once Cole recovers from the night, I am going to hang this picture above our laundry basket to remind cole that it isn't his "pissin' hole":
3 comments:
That movie looks scary!!!
This morning, I heard a 911 call from a cop who'd stolen pot form the evidence room and made it into brownies. Went something like this:
"911."
"I think my wife and I overdosed."
"On what?"
"Marijuana."
"How much did you have?"
"I don't know. We made brownies."
"How do you know you overdosed? Do you have a fever?"
"No. I think we're dead. Time's passing very slow!"
Oh, mg, P, I am totally submitting this one for the online blog awards (Pulitzer? Webbie?). Too funny.
But also--that Schlitz commercial was WEIRD. We (FINE--I) grew up in the 80s. SO WEIRD. And, is it my imagination or is the blue-stripped dancer/clown (a little racist? no?) a thinner Re-Run? Was he a dancer?? Was this how he got his start? Or is this a celebrity ad and that's why he's in blue?
OMG, AND THE STRANGERS LOOKS SO FRICKIN' SCARY. I can't even watch the previews. Although, the thought of donning one of those burlap sacks and scaring David makes me giggle uncontrollably.
Oh and also, I personally think that laundry baskets are just too tempting to cats. I have left clothes in the basket before (me? no!) and come back to find them with that distinctive odor... although not QUITE pee, I kind of assume George got in there and sprayed his little heart out. I think he's in love with Dave, so he wants Dave to smell of him so no other cat gets the wrong idea.
Post a Comment