Tuesday, July 1, 2008

What's your type?

So last week my entire department received an e-mail from one of our techs. She has always included "motivational"-type quotes at the end of them...in bright purple lettering with certain words EMPHASIZED. And I'm so not into that. Luckily one of my friends here at work is a kindred spirit and within minutes of each of us receiving that e-mail, she called me and was all, "WTF?" As a joke, I started finding dumb reasons to e-mail her and with each e-mail, I included a new de-motivational quote. Here are a few:



Motivation: If a pretty picture and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.



If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
-Bill Lyon




Get to work. You are not being paid to BELIEVE in the power of your DREAMS.



Later that day, I was in our anticoagulation clinic and noticed a pamphlet on stools / constipation / diarrhea / scat in general meant to be given to patients. Very serious. It's hilarious and it prompted the following words of wisdom (along with a choice picture - it's all about context with this one):







“When life gives you separate, hard lumps…squeeze harder and make it sausage-shaped with cracks on its surface!” -- P

7 comments:

SIP said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA *wheeze*

And also--educational!

Unknown said...

re: "And also--educational!"

Indeed! Can I get a copy of that pamphlet? I am now deeply motivated to determine whether my scat is a healthy type.

Steve said...

you and David are a perfect match...

Laura said...

Yeah, I want to know the causes behind each! This is part of "You Are What You Eat" on BBCAmerica, and Steve will not watch that segment, lol.

But seriously, is that pamphlet available online?

Laura said...

OK, I did a search without "stool," in case they track our searches here at work. However, I couldn't resist checking out the suggestion at "aboutconstipation.com," lol, so I can't worry about what they see me doing now! At any rate, I found a good description here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_Stool_Scale

Paul said...

I am not sure if the pamphlet is online. I think aboutconstipation.com is where I got this so if you want to know more, that might be a good place to start.

SIP said...

Apparently, 3 and 4 are "goal stools". Good to know. I think it's funny that Laura's link said that types 5-7 "tend toward... cholera"

Oh, it must be FUN to work in a hospital, Paul!!