The shed

Remember my blog about stuff? As in, too much of it? Behold: The Shed

BEFORE:










Ok, so I don't have an after. Let's just say Dave and I were at our wit's end what with all the stuff, we gave up on the idea of a garage sale and took it all to Goodwill. A "prime" example of too much stuff--the paint we uncovered under all the OTHER stuff in the shed:











In answer to your shock and wonder: I don't know how. I just don't know.


WHat our yard looked like after our shed threw up and before we went to Goodwill (as in, this is how our yard looked for a little over a week):


*This picture will be used for tax write-off purposes.

OMG

So work was awful today.  I'd go into it, but it's my policy that I don't talk about work on the blog other than in generic terms.  I don't want this *gesture* to be the reason I get fired.  "Well, D, we would have given you a raise and a key to your own private bathroom, but we saw on your blog that you said something nasty about your coworker."  BUT, suffice it to say I was rip-roarin' mad when I left work today.

Cut to my train ride home.  As mentioned previously, I take a variety of trains to/from work each day.  The stop where I transfer is very busy during rush hour, and lots of people exit the train with me.  This JA (that's "jack ass" for those of you not up on the lingo) behind me kept saying "excuse me" in my ear.  I turned and said, "I'm getting off here, too".  He proceeded to put his hand on my back *audible gasp from the blog readers* and gently push me toward the door.  It took everything within me not to turn, grab him by the throat, and scream in his face.  He was shorter than me, and this is one chap I could beat up.  No, seriously.  He was weak.  

Note to other JAs on the train: don't ever touch me.  Ever.  I don't know where you've been, and nothing gives you that right.  Also, your pushing me and running to the other platform only allowed you to wait for longer than I did.  We both got on the same train, f'er.

How Old Is Your Brain (in Japan)

There is this website with a game that tests your brain then tells you how old your brain is. The site is in Japanese, so read these instructions before you head over there:

1. Click on 'start'
2. Wait for the countdown (3, 2, 1)
3. The screen will flash a set of numbers. Try to memorize their positions.
4. Then the screen will substitute circles, one where each of the numbers was. Click on the circles in order that the previous numbers were, in order from smallest value to largest value.


At the end of the game, the program will tell you how old your brain is. Mine is 24! (Unfortunatly, my back is 83...)

"...a canoe!..."

Making Dreams Come True

I am going to start an informal dance troupe and we are going to choreograph something similar to OK Go's backyard video and we'll probably do it in the park and then we will videotape it and put it on YouTube (AND PDandJ)

Nature as art

I want to see you on the inside...

So! Have I told you guys about my back?? Here, let me say it with a picture of my insides:


This is an MRI I had done of my back to see why I was crippled with pain. Turns out the disc protrusion is pressing on my spinal cord! In doing some research, it is also thought that the disc protrusion can f up the chemicals there which can also be a cause of excruciating pain.

Let me tell you, it is FASCINATING to see one's innards.

Let's see what else we see in the picture--my belly fat. And, I assume those dark spots are poop. Or tumors.

I really need to learn more about this. For instance, why are the bones around the L45 disc whiter? What's all that BEHIND my spinal cord??

Anywhoo, when one's inside looks like this, one's outsides look as follows: I no longer walk, I shuffle. When I stand up, I grimace and grab my back and bend one leg. Then I tentatively put one leg out in front of the other and take a few halting steps before I can get anywhere. I also sleep with 4 pillows and make several adjustments during the night. There are also a couple of walkers in our house. WALKERS.

Well, just so you know, I am determined to regain flexibility and mobility. I just haven't done anything in that direction yet. Any suggestions? I am considering: yoga, acupuncture, chiropracty.

What Goes Around...

So, as many of you probably DON'T know, I started a new job today! At DU, where I worked before I became a lawyer. Now, however, I work in a completely different department in public policy--very different from my other job at DU where I worked in finance and dealt directly with students.

As many of you DO know, I met P&D at DU. (Well, technically, P at DU, then D through P, but physically I met D at DU (or nearby).)

So, returning today brought back a FLOOD of memories from my prior life at DU (1998 - 2002). Of course, I am in a new building in a completely different department, but at least having worked there before affords me a little but of a leg up.

The weirdly familiar: they gave me my old Banner ID #. I chose the same old password. There are a lot of familiar names, but, outside my old department, I can't remember who I considered friend v. foe. Oh well--clean slate. Esp since I have a new last name *incognito*

The weirdly different: the DU high school isn't there anymore--that building is now part of Daniels College of Business, as is another building across the quad. They also fancied up the quad a bit by adding some elevation and some xeric plants. Cool. AND, I took the lightrail which was very convenient, except that it dropped me off on the opposite diagonal corner of campus. At least I got a walk in!

I kept having flashbacks to memories created with P&D at DU. And, I looked up to see who is still working in our old department. Etiquette q: how does one notify former co-workers that I am back on campus but do not wish to see or speak with them unless I need something from them?

Before today, there was this element of "oh, no, I am like the loser high school kid returning to school after graduation!" but today I realized I really have moved on and this position seems like it has endless opportunity, so I felt better. But I would also like to get the message across to the people I used to work with: "I did fine as a lawyer, I just took a new opportunity."
Can I phrase it that way?

P&D--I am thinking it would be fun to stalk people we knew at lunch, and will try to post stories and pictures. It will be as if we are up to our old shenanigans. Only it's just me here. Oh well, you'll be with me in spirit!

Saturday

We're going to see "The Dark Knight" (filmed in Chicago) with some friends.  Also, S&L, I submitted my passport application *sing-songy*

This is what happens when you kill yourself during rush hour.

I'm not sure if this kind of thing makes it to the national news (it probably depends on how slow the news day is), but Tueday, a woman was hit and killed at the Argyle stop on the Red Line train in Chicago. If you take a look at the route link, you will see that Bryn Mawr (my stop) is 2 stops away from Argyle. This all happened during rush hour.

Meantime, I was innocently on my way home from work. I work in the IL Medical District, which is off the Polk Street station on the Pink Line (keep up with me, now). From Polk, I take the train to the Loop, and transfer at Clark & Lake to the Brown or Purple Line. From there, I go to Fullerton (see Argyle link) and transfer to the Red Line. As you can imagine, a "track emergency" (as it was described by our conductor) would throw a major wrench my commute home. Normally, it takes me almost one full hour to make the trip each way.

What follows is a text conversation between P and I while I was trying to get home. We had plans to go to Trader Joe's for groceries once I got home.

5:22pm D: Am on delayed train.

5:22pm P: Boo

5:23pm D: I would offer to get off at Irving Park, but it is closed. There was an accident at Argyle.

5:26pm D: And there's this douche who won't let anyone sit.

5:38pm D: *called Paul to tell him they kicked everyone off the train at Belmont because of the accident. Went to Clark street to wait for the #22 bus.*

5:47pm D: There are 60 people at this stop.

5:49pm D: And 2 buses have gone by packed.

5:51pm D: Turn on the news and find out. This guy says suicide.

5:54pm D: Hello?!

5:55pm P: Just a G.D. minute.

5:55pm D: Video games, I presume?

5:56pm P: No, betch. Was in bathroom.*

*it is also possible that P was actually playing video games, or just trying to keep up with my lightning-quick texting. It is common knowledge that P is a very slow texter.

5:56pm P: All NBC says is that a ped was struck.

5:57pm D: Good Christ, this is a cluster [bleep].

5:58pm P: Police are investigating.

5:59pm D: There is one bus I can see *packed*

6:00pm P: What about the Brown Line?

6:00pm D: Where would it make sense to take it? Irving Park is closed.

6:01pm P: I don't know.

6:02pm D: ...

6:03pm P: Can you get to Belmont and Ashland?

6:04pm D: *thumbs down* I am in pants.*

*It was very, very hot that day

6:05pm D: People are going in the back door of the bus. It is approaching a mob.

6:07pm D: Numbers of people waiting are dwindling.

6:07pm P: Are you on?

6:07pm D: No.

6:16pm P: Where?

6:17pm D: Still waiting.

6:20pm D: Just on bus.

6:20pm P: Finally.

6:24pm D: No shit.

6:29pm D: Irving Park now.

6:30pm P: Leaving.

6:35pm D: Please pull in Popeyes.

6:36pm P: Duh.

For those keeping score, I left work at 4:30pm. I got to Popeyes at 6:35pm. It took me TWO HOURS to get to this corner, which is still quite a ways from my home. Being delayed home during rush hour brings out the worst in people. I saw things that must be what war is like. A young woman actually pushed an old woman who was trying to board one of the packed buses in front of her. Another woman tried, unsuccessfully, to illegally board a bus from the back door. She was yelled at and flipped off the driver before theatrically exiting the bus. It wasn't pretty. Meantime, the local news had three helicopters circling the scene of the accident. You know, three helicopters that guzzle gas in this era of extremely high gas prices? Yeah. Good times.

6:07 AM

So I'm going on to my 3rd week of life after residency. I'm not doing what I want to be doing (I spent the last year of my residency focusing on HIV and infectious diseases so that's what I want to do!!) but I'm making good money. In fact, I got a 253% raise over what I was making as a resident. So I can't complain too much. I'm sort of taking the path of many of the ID (that's Infectious Diseases for those out of the medical field) pharmacists that I work with and starting off in critical care. However, there are currently no openings in any of the ICUs. I want to eventually be in the Medical ICU - that's where most of us (read: ID pharmacists at Northwestern) seem to start out. In the meantime, I'll enjoy making money, getting here early and getting off early and having pretty much a guaranteed 8 hour shift. There is a lot of down time in this OR pharmacy so when the anaesthesiologists aren't at my window, I'll hopefully have more time to blog. As a preview of what's in store for my next post, enjoy this fine picture:

Something I find amusing...

...when I can hear my cat peeing in her litter box.  Oh, Sheila.

p.s. that's not my cat OR my bathroom.  hahahaha@the thought of it somehow being my bathroom, but not my cat.

Live From the Backyard

There I was, minding my own business, watering the few plants I recently planted, thinking that I really hope they survive when out of nowhere a large bird swooped down just behind me and into the tree in our neighbor's yard. There was a ruckus and a bunch of smaller birds instantly flew out of the tree in all directions. Then, the big bird flew back nonchalantly up and over our roof. I was like, what the--?? but it was over before I even pieced it together: I am sure he had been perched on our roof hunting the tree full of birds. And he certainly didn't let some person who interrupted by pulling out a garden hose get in the way!

It is just funny to imagine it from a bird's eye view: "There's the tree full of prey. Wait, what's that? Oh, right: a human. But why does it have a nest on its head? Anyways, back to the prey. Three... two... one... BLAST OFF!"

BTW, I have identified the bird as a Cooper's hawk. He was slate-colored with horizontal stripes across the tail.

Mickey House

This past weekend, P and I went to Disney World.  I had a conference, and I convinced P to come with me so I didn't have to ride the rides alone.  I remember it being way more fun.  I did the College Program eight years ago and had a blast.  Maybe it was too much of a good thing?  I was definitely ready to come home.  P only stayed until Monday, and my conference lasted until Wednesday.

A couple of things:

1. The lines weren't bad at all!  I think the longest we waited in line was 40 minutes or so, and that was only on one ride.  Most of the time we were on and off in 10 minutes.  That was surprising, especially since it was a holiday weekend.
2. There were about one million fat people there.  See the example below.  This woman was at my conference.  She literally had no neck.  Two different people caught me taking this picture, but they were amused and didn't tell the woman what I was doing.  I have reason to believe they are ALL from the Midwest.  
   
3. I can't get rid of the number below, so it looks like it will have to stay.  There is no number 4, though.  In fact, there's really not a number 3, but I felt I needed to explain.
4. 

What's the Deal With Kabbalah Again?

So, as we all (should) know, Madonna is being blamed for the breakup of A-Rod's marriage. Apparently, it was an affair of the heart and A-Rod (ummmm... anyone else see how fitting this douchename is?) was infatuated with Madonna. Now, we all know Madonna is hot, but is it really true she can seduce anyone??

I have to believe this is related to Kabbalah.

In fact, many of the articles suggest the same--"Pop icon Madonna is using kabbalah to brainwash Yankee star Alex Rodriguez into believing they are 'soulmates,' the ballplayer's estranged wife is telling friends."

Which leads me ONCE AGAIN to wonder what Kabbalah is all about. Here is what I got so far: its teachings are based on ancient, mystical teachings of Judaism.

*pause*

Ech--then Wikipedia goes on from there.

I do find religion fascinating, but it seems with Kabbalah, it's really hard to get just an overview. It's as if even the Wikipedia article itself is trying to suck me into its Sefirah...

All this being said, I really hope Madonna and Guy Ritchie can stick it out. I am definitely rooting for them. Why, I have no idea. I think it's mostly because that family looks so pretty together.

I also think Cindy Rodriguez made the right move, but COME ON, like she didn't know what was going on with this guy before he got a crush on Madge?
If it jiggled, A-Rod wanted it.

Also, DAM-MIT--Drew Barrymore and Jason Long have split. This was one of my top picks as far as celebrity match ups--they seem really alike to me--good-looking, smart(ish), goofy. I think bc she's my age(ish) and we kind of grew up together (although I skipped out on the early partying and drug-use), I just want her to be happy. And yes, I do think my personal attachments to celebrities are weird sometimes.

What I Accomplished Today (A Day in the Life of the Unemployed)

I kept thinking the cats were being cute and took their pictures. These represent the highlights, taken over the course of the day.

What's your type?

So last week my entire department received an e-mail from one of our techs. She has always included "motivational"-type quotes at the end of them...in bright purple lettering with certain words EMPHASIZED. And I'm so not into that. Luckily one of my friends here at work is a kindred spirit and within minutes of each of us receiving that e-mail, she called me and was all, "WTF?" As a joke, I started finding dumb reasons to e-mail her and with each e-mail, I included a new de-motivational quote. Here are a few:



Motivation: If a pretty picture and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.



If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
-Bill Lyon



Get to work. You are not being paid to BELIEVE in the power of your DREAMS.



Later that day, I was in our anticoagulation clinic and noticed a pamphlet on stools / constipation / diarrhea / scat in general meant to be given to patients. Very serious. It's hilarious and it prompted the following words of wisdom (along with a choice picture - it's all about context with this one):

“When life gives you separate, hard lumps…squeeze harder and make it sausage-shaped with cracks on its surface!” -- P