Final Demand Letter

Dear JENNIFER GRADY,

This letter serves as your final demand to submit a post to the blog. If you have not fulfilled your obligation by 5pm CST, legal action will be taken.

Sincerely,

Blog Management


UGH. WHAT ABOUT. GAH. How about you give me until Monday? Please?

No. Today. You need to force yourself to say something. ANYTHING. You have writer's block, and the only way to get over it is to write something. Even if it doesn't make sense. It can be a post through which we all learn something about overcoming adversity.

Use the final demand email as your starting point and go from there. This is what you NEED. You'll thank me later.

So, fine. I posted a blog. There are some items I want to post, but I also have pictures to go along with them which are on my camera. At home. If SOMEONE would just be PATIENT... I planned to blog this weekend. SWEAR.

Is that a rabbit in your pocket, or...

So my new favorite thing (as if you couldn't tell) is to look at the "Images in the News" section of chicagotribune.com. When I saw this, I thought... "Riiiiiiight, THAT'S real." Turns out, it IS!

Caption: (Getty photo by Sean Gallup / January 15, 2006)
Karl Szmolinsky, who raises a breed of rabbits called giant grays, shows Robert, an 8.5kg giant gray who is 74cm long and has ears 25.5cm long, in the backyard of his house in Eberswalde, Germany in 2006. Szmolinsky sold eight giant grays to a delegation from North Korea that wanted to raise the breed as a source of meat for the North Korean population. Szmolinsky said his rabbits reach a maximum weight of 10.5 kg (23.1lbs.).

There's also a video.

Ha!

I think I find this picture so funny because they look like old men! "GET OFF MY LAWN!"

But, the cutest part: their names are Shalom and Salam. Both names mean "Peace" in Hebrew and Arabic, respectively. Awww! They were about to receive vaccinations. This is exactly what Cole does when we take him to the vet.

We're Huge in Europe...

...apparently. A couple of days ago, I added a map to the blog (see left column). It automatically tracks who visits our blog. Two things surprised me. First, Steve and Laura show as being at their home when they are currently in Colombia. That was sad because I wanted it to look like we were very popular there. But then my eyes wandered to Europe, and low and behold! There are two tiny dots at two different locations! I have no idea who they might be (I assume they inadvertently stumbled across our blog because a keyword came up on google, and plan never to return), but I'm terribly excited about it.

J and I just had a gmail chat conversation about it, and decided they probably can't understand anything we're saying. They are expecting more "e's" on the ends of words and want to know why all our adjectives come before the nouns.

But, in any event... welcome, strange foreigners, with your tiny cars and even tinier apartments! We drink our soft drinks and beer cold and have turkey for dinner! Feel free to make comments about your strange and exotic customs. And we can send you some Levi jeans, if you're nice!

Help Wanted. Apply Within.

WANTED: Writers with interesting perspectives to assist one lone individual from having to write ALL posts on a blog. Applicants should be witty, entertaining and willing to write even when they have better things to do. Preference will be given to individuals with names beginning with the letters "J" and "P".

Our new dog!

Well, eventually.  But first we need to move.  When we are finally able to get a dog, we will get a Boston Terrier.  Isn't this family cute?!  That was my first reaction, too, until I read the caption.  Now I'm enraged.

Gizmo and family
(AP photo by Elise Amendola / January 29, 2009)
Four pure-bred Boston terrier puppies gather around their father, Gizmo, at the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals in Methuen, Mass. Five puppies were surrendered along with their parents, Gizmo and Sasha, after animal control officers in Lawrence, Mass., found them living in deplorable conditions and suffering from multiple medical issues.

Amusing

Not living in NYC, I don't get all of these references, but the ones I do get are funny.

(More) Colombia!

So two things:

1. I've scheduled my yellow fever vaccination. I'm not shocked at myself. I should have just done it when I first went. But, as a result of that vaccination, I've now scared myself. It seems there have been a (very) few instances of organ failure for newly vaccinated people. Fun! I already brought up my fear when I made my appointment, and the nurse laughed at me.
2. New to the agenda: Monserrate and La Candelaria.

*kickclap*

Colombia!

Our trip is in just a few weeks! So far, the iternary includes a trip to Lake Guatavita (which is making me wish I had gotten the Yellow Fever vaccine...). Although... I expect it's too high to have mosquitoes. Bogota sits at 8661 ft above sea level. The lake is at 9842 ft! Cripes.

More details re: our trip as they develop!

Ack!

Seriously?!? WHY would you allow yourself to leave the house looking like this?

Oh you look so beautiful tonight in your sexy boots

Who doesn't like U2?  This one's for Jenn, who I'm sure is even more excited then I am.  I just downloaded the new U2 single "Get On Your Boots" on iTunes.  It's good - different from most of their previous work.  I'm not a music critic so I won't try to describe it eloquently.  But I just really like it.  Plus who wouldn't love a song with the chorus "Sexy boots / get on your boots".  It's lighthearted.  

By the way, did you all see Bono and the boys perform for Obama on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial?  "City of Blinding Lights" will forever take on new meaning to me.  

My sentiments, exactll.

FREAKIN' ADORABLE

...here's the link to S & L's blog while they are in Colombia.

Picture of the Day

Wow. This blog is dead.

I'm not sure what happened, exactll. The blog was alive and kickin' not so long ago. And, it's not even a year old! Who knew it was so easy for a blog to curl up and die. It's sad. I guess I sort of blame the holidays. Well, and the election. Both took up WAY too much of our time. And J and I were discussing just today (at work via gmail chat) that Facebook also has distracted us. And apparently so has gmail chat! *sigh* I don't know... it's not like there's nothing to write about.

1. New niece
2. P and I are going to Colombia to meet her for the first time (my very first international trip -- other than Canada)
3. The Harry Potter Exhibition is coming to Chicago
4. Trip planned to NY for my dad's 60th birthday
5. Trip planned to Denver to see J and to visit Mesa Verde for the first time.

You'd think that'd spark some posts, huh? Maybe it's the winter blahs. Or the tax season blahs. But I don't think the taxes have much to do with it. I see them all day every day, so I'm sort of used to them. And my taxes are simple. The most difficult thing I have is a rollover. How do you know it's time to end a rambling blog post? When you start talking about taxes (not to mention rollovers). Oy vey.

All the single ladies...

For those not as obsessed with Beyoncé as me, here's the real video to one of her latest singles. As you must know by now, I love videos with lots of synchronized dancing, so you can imagine how I feel about this.

The SNL parody is equally as entertaining.

Mi Sobrina Nueva

I can't believe it's taken me THIS long to announce to our millions of blog readers that P and I are tíos! Mi hermano y nuestra cuñada are adopting a baby from Colombia, and we couldn't be more excited. S & L leave for Colombia very soon to pick up little Carmen Elizabeth. P and I are hoping to visit them while they are in Colombia. More details on that as they are available. In the meantime, I have two things to share with you. The first is a picture.



Second, Carmen asked me to help her with something. Turns out she absolutely loves Shakira. In honor of that, she's created this video to share. She's super excited about her trip to the States, and hopes to tour very soon. With that, I give you Shakira (feat. Carmen Elizabeth).

Cancer Panic, redux

So. Our loyal readers will remember that a few months back, I had a mole removed. My dermatologist was anything but pleasant, so I switched to someone new. This last weekend (and while in the shower), I convinced myself that two moles on my abdomen had changed in size. Needless to say, cancer panic set in. I was originally scheduled for a follow-up visit in March, but I called first thing Monday morning to change my appointment to 1/9/09.

Problems with my own hypochondria aside, there was a night and day difference in my visit. The dermatologist was (1) pleasant, (2) caring and (3) could read me like a book. He calmed me down and even offered to remove the moles -- even though he felt like they were just ordinary moles -- if I wanted. I wanted. I am writing to you with two fewer moles, and a lot calmer than I was this morning. And the best part is, I don't have to go for another appointment for a whole year, AND I can get the results over the phone! A-Hole dermatologist, take note. This is how one practices good bedside manner.

What Not to Wear, J Edition

Below is the actual text of my email to TLC's "What Not to Wear" nominating J for a complete makeover. Please note that many of the buzzwords from my email (i.e. "fashion diaster", etc.) were required to nominate someone. I'm not THAT mean. Well, maybe I am a bit... catty:

from: D
to: WhatNotToWear@bbcnyproduction.com
date: Mon, Dec 29, 2008 at 1:12 PM
subject: nomination!

Name: J
Location: Denver, CO
Age: 34
Size: 8-10
Height: 5' 6"
Occupation: program manager
Married
No Children
Personality: J is hysterical and lovable. She is always making others laugh. Her style? Well... a style of convenience would probably best describe it. She loves free and she loves cheap. She also LOVES (capitalization intentional) comfort. She is a disaster for several reasons. In a previous career, she was a lawyer. She would wear VERY unprofessional attire (examples: fleece pants and pilly sweaters). She rarely does anything with her hair. Make-up? What is make-up?? She wears next to nothing in the make-up department.
Upcoming event: J's 35th birthday is in June, and her husband turns 40 in October.
Photos: I am including two examples illustrating J's "fashion sense". The first is her sitting on a barrel (she's the one of the far left of the photo). The second is of her (2nd from right) with three female friends. This photo illustrates how she stands out compared to others.

Then there was a paragraph including my contact information, which I'm not sharing with all of the people on these Internets. What pictures did I include, you ask? Well:





Admittedly, not THE most offensive pictures of J, but still.

What Not to Wear

Happy New Year!

Sometime over the holidays David offered to nominate me for WNTW. I wanted to post my avatar for his use in his quest to get me some fine clothes and a trip to NYC.