Overheard on the train

*Middle-aged white man (MAWM) who looks much older than I assume he is sitting on train. Wearing a "Phat Farm" coat, which I could not get over. And a fuzzy, dirty "Elmer Fudd" style cap, but not checked -- totally covered in fur. This is all making him sound funky and hip. He was neither. He was gross and most likely purchased all of these items at a yard sale or thrift store. Again, not in a funky/hip way. More like in an old way. Anyway, he coughs.*

*[Younger] man (YM) sitting in front of him speaks*

YM: "Dude, cover your mouth!"
MAWM: *grumble* "I did!"
YM: "No. You didn't. Fourth time, man. Fourth. Time."
MAWM: "Oh, like you can see me with your back to me?"
YM: "I can in that reflection in that window right THERE!"
MAWM: "Oh, right."
YM: "Unbelievable."
MAWM: "There's no laws saying you can't cough on buses." [note: we were on a train, not a bus. But even so, his point was stupid. It's not about laws, it's about common courtesy.]

*friendly woman sitting across from YM asks a question.*

"Would you like to switch seats?"

*My thoughts instantly went to, 'WHY would you want to sit next to all that?!' Apparently she's nicer than I am.*

YM: "Naw, thanks. I already got the swine flu from this one."

*YM switches seats when people exit train*

Train Freak of the Day

The above photo was covertly taken by me on my way home from work this evening.  I was on the Red Line.  Here's what the rest of this person looked like: 

• Jet black pigtails with tightly shaved and bleached blonde hair on the back of her head
  
• Shaved eyebrows (and none drawn in)
• A spikey piercing through her lower lip in the center of her mouth
• Super-short shirt dress with ruffles at the waist
• Military jacket 
• Stick legs

In short, she was a hot mess -- with a surprising jolt of femininity (based entirely on the delicate ruffles at her waist).

I also took a picture of a man who looked remarkably like Colonel Sanders, but it didn't come out.