Things I did today...

I bought myself a macbook pro!!!

Also -- I'm drunk.

Thanks, Rob

I guess I should be more of a fan of Rob Thomas. If only there were more vocal straight people standing up for gays. I could talk gay rights till I'm blue in the face and not be nearly as effective as a straight ally such as this.

Hey baby...

Fun with camera phones

This will be even more fun when we finally get out iPhones (t-minus one month and counting!) It can only serve to make you, our loyal readers, feel closer to us, your loyal blog writers.

This is the beer I had at a bar this weekend. It tasted exactll like banana bread. I'd recommend it.


This is my favorite picture of Sheila of all time. P took this one night using his camera phone (with flash). The lights were all out, and he had no idea how the picture would come out. I still laugh whenever I look at it.

Maybe it's life in the big city...

...but I was full of piss and vinegar today. (Like the old-timey lingo?)

So twice today I was sassy to complete strangers. Without even thinking. Like it was second natu

re. Like I was... Jenn. (Seriously, loyal readers... I can't even tell you how many times I thought Jenn would get us beat up by complete strangers... like the time she tried to give away a buy-one-get-one Long Island Ice Tea to a woman at a bar, basically just setting it in front of the woman).

I think it's a function of having lived in Chicago for 3 years now (as of this weekend!). And using public transportation the whole time.

Anyhoo, the first "incident" came after lunch today. A booth had been set up outside our cafeteria advertising a blood drive next week. A woman said to us as we were passing by, "Would you like to help us out? We're having a blood drive next week." Without a second thought I said, "No, sorry I can't. I'm not allowed." Much to the delight of my friend Leslie that was with me. I totally don't regret it though. The fact that as a gay man I can't give blood in this country is discrimination, plain and simple.

Later today I got onto a crowded bus. I was near the front with nowhere to move and no one in the back was moving further back. This girl got behind me and was all, "excuse me! excuse me!" After her having done that several times and me having moved as far as polite / possible into the personal space of the poor guy in front of me, she kept trying to shove past me. So I said, "I don't know where you think your going to go!" And she was all, "there're people trying to get on the bus. The people on the front need to move back." To which I replied, "No, the people on the back need to move back." Seriously, I can't go back until everyone ahead of me moves to the back and it's one of my pet peeves when people don't recognize this and shove past you to move back on the bus. I'm sorry but I want to move back too but I'm not a FUCKING ASSHOLE. I've almost been knocked over by douches thinking that's okay.

I guess I don't know if I like this new "city sass". That's what I'll call it. The jury's out. What does everyone think? I NEVER would have done that when I lived in Denver or Omaha. Is this the new Chicago Paul? New and improved with a touch of ass? Or just plain ass?

Hockey.

I love it. I usually limit myself to college hockey (specifically, Clarkson hockey) and the NHL playoffs. This year, Clarkson was terrible, and I got really frustrated. But now Chicago is in the conference finals for the first time in a gazillion* years. If the games weren't already sold out, I'd drag P to one. Oh well. I'll just have to settle for the fight song, which I first found in College. My favorite part is that it goes on forever. If I owned the team, I'd still use it. And I'd make them wear leisure suit style unis, too.

*exaggeration

Green Pornos

So. I was just reading about this series on Paste Magazine's website. I haven't watched it yet (I'm at work, as usual), but it sounds... intriguing?

"Green Porno focuses on the mating habits of various animals. Each short begins with Rossellini’s simple statement of, “If I were a mantis,” or, “If I were a starfish,” before quickly jumping directly into how her genitals would work in each case, what her turn-ons would be, and, with surprising frequentcy, how exactly she would defecate. Rossellini herself acts out each of these in a stunning handmade animal costume, mating with a giant prop partner and then ending abruptly when the act is finished. This brief description doesn’t do the series nearly the justice it deserves, though. Suffice it to say, if you wish to see Rossellini dressed as a snail crapping on her own head, these are the videos for you. And if, like the other 99.999% of the population, you never would’ve conceived of such a thing, there's a chance you’ll probably still want to check out the series."

Mother Translator

Last week's SNL was funny for SO many reasons. I thought Justin Timberlake was HILARIOUS. He stole every skit, by far. (Side note: is it just me or is the level of repeat sketches really, really annoying?) And, as usual, the SNL Digital Short "Mother Lover" was a hit.

The very first fake commercial, though, had me REALLY laughing. It advertised the "Mother Translator" which helps you translate what celebrity your mom is trying to tell you about (as she usually mangles their name and you have no idea who she's talking about). So funny because it's TRUE. At the end, the announcer tells you "you can buy the Mom Translator wherever mom stuff is sold... so, Ann Taylor" Which is funny because P&D make fun of me for buying mom clothes at the Loft.

You can't stop this momentum, you right-wing "Christian" haters!

It was just announced today that Maine's legislators approved a bill that would legalize same-sex marriage... it just has to be signed by the governor who hasn't indicated which way he will go. Let's hope he's not a hater.

She's 120 in dog years...

When I work evenings (HATE) at least I get to catch some daytime TV. Folks, the last 2 hours of the Today Show is all fluff. But this was just on and I had to show you a picture. This is Chanel, supposedly the oldest dog in the world (although I don't know how anyone would know that... the last dog census... wait, there never was one). She's 21. The goggles are for cataracts. I believe she's a long-haired dachshund.

Also apparently the traditional belief that dogs age 7 "dog years" for every year is apparently not accurate (and would mean that Chanel is 147...) The Today Show said she was 120 in dog years but I just read online (hence it must be true) that a more accurate estimation is that dogs age 10.5 dog years for the first 2 years of life and then 4 dog years every year thereafter. Hence Chanel would actually be 97. Not that impressive anymore, Chanel!

Iceland Twenty-Ten!

That's right, P, D and J are going to Iceland in 2010! I'm so excited, I could pee!

I hope that (1) this post brings visitors from Iceland for our blog map, (2) I can afford all-over body hair removal so I can be seen in the volcanic hot springs and (3) I am able to afford a 66 degrees north coat.

Fast fact about Iceland -- they have a national registry of first names. You can't name your child anything other than what is already on the registry.

Cuisine I will not be trying in Iceland includes:
1. rotten shark (Hakarl)
2. Entrails, brains or testicles of anything
3. whale meat