Monday, October 20, 2008

Scared of the Dark


That's right, I'm scared of the dark. I have always been scared of the dark. I believe it all started with "Howard the Duck" when I was a little boy. But that's for another post.

Recently, P went to Omaha to visit his parents. I wanted to post this then, but was afraid someone would see I was home alone and come attack me in my sleep. This is how my nights go when I'm home alone:

1. I turn each and every light on in the house.
2. I sit on the couch so that I have a strategic advantage. I can look down the entire length of the apartment. I find myself looking down the hall CONSTANTLY.
3. I stay up as late as possible for two reasons - first, that way I make myself super tired so I can fall right to sleep. Second, I don't have to face trying to fall asleep until I absolutely have to.
4. When I finally DO go to bed, I leave at least one light on all night. That way I can make out any shadow monsters on the walls and get the hell out of there.
5. I am super grumpy due to lack of sleep. I also have bloodshot eyes.

I should point out that I'm much less scared of someone breaking in than I am of some sort of ghost-like thing showing up. I lock the apartment up nice and tight even when I'm NOT home alone (thanks to my father for that sickness). And, I have one cat that I'm convinced will go for the jugular of a real person who is stupid enough to break in.

Matters certainly aren't helped by my watching shows like "Ghost Hunters" on SciFi. That is one of my favorite shows of all time. But you KNOW I'm scared when I cannot even watch that when I'm home alone. And P wonders why I can't watch "The Strangers"... my worst nightmare on film.

Well, time for bed. But first I need to check behind the shower curtain to make sure no one is ready to pounce. Wish me luck!

6 comments:

Steve said...

You need a weapon. That will end it. Get a baseball bat and put it under your bed. Problem solved.....nerd

Laura said...

When Steve's out of town, I make sure the cordless phone is on the night stand (we don't have a phone jack in the bedroom). I also refrain from parking in the middle of the garage so that it's not obvious the other car is gone overnight. And finally, I eat comfort foods like Kraft mac & cheese and mis-matched meals that Steve will never allow when he's cooking :)

SIP said...

A weapon won't help against a GHOST! I totally understand, David, even though I don't get scared to be home alone, you HAVE seen me in the wilderness where I am deathly afraid of aliens. WHAT would one DO if confronted by an alien?? Seriously?!

And, Laura, I am all with you on the mismatched meals--have you ever tried pork n beans over spaghetti?

Laura said...

No, but that sounds good! I think the one Steve hated the worst was when he called and found me eating leftover spaghetti and a sweet potato :)

SIP said...

In answer to my question, you apparently need 24 rocket missiles to fight off an alien. *faint*

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSTRE49J4RO20081020

SIP said...

oh and Laura--spaghetti and a sweet potato sounds AWESOME! I think sweet potatoes go with ANYTHING!