Oh SNL short videos

SNL hasn't been at it's best for a few years but occasionally they still have some hilarious stuff.

Happy freakin' holidays!

So it's not even Christmas day and I can officially say that this is the worst Christmas ever. And I blame that in general on working in healthcare and specifically on the current situation where I work. I got the un-luck of the draw and have to not only work Christmas day but the entire week of and weekend after. Seven days straight. AND we were supposed to go to Omaha for a 3-day weekend last weekend to celebrate Christmas with my family. We were supposed to go leave Thursday night. But after sitting at the airport for 4 freakin' hours our flight (and all flights) to Omaha was cancelled due to an ice storm. So we had to rebook for Friday afternoon. And because of the same storm hitting Chicago, that flight was 1.5 hours late. Then our flight home on Sunday night was delayed by 2.5 hours. It's AWFUL trying to travel in the midwest in winter.

So now I need some help coming up with new career paths that will forever get me out of working holidays. And weekends / evenings to boot. Here is my list of good choices so far:

1. Photographer for National Geographic. Sure, I have no training in photography. And I've barely left the U.S. But I think I take some pretty decent pictures AND I'm a quick learner. And I like to travel. Isn't that all I should need? (Not to demean those of our loyal readers that are NG photographers...there must be a few in our vast legion of follower [intentional omission of plurality]... I'm sure it's a challenging career).

2. Work as an aid worker in Africa for the Clinton Global Initiative. I have a background in HIV / AIDS so that should help. Plus see #1... I like to travel. And I'm open minded and money would be no object if I loved what I was doing and felt as though I were helping people in Africa. So I'd like to ask those of you with connections to the Clintons to hook me up, please.

(Ya know technically for both of these jobs I would probably end up working evenings and weekends... but I wouldn't care).

3. Professional cat wrangler. Hell, we have a dog whisperer so why not a cat whisperer? Qualifications: I have two cats who are both a handful. 'Nuff said.

4. Personal shopper. I have good taste AND I like to shop. And I would be very thorough... just ask D & J about our trip to Urban Outfitters in Boulder a few years ago... how long did it take me to pick out some T's?

Any other suggestions? And is anyone willing to help me put my CV in order to get one of these jobs? It would take just a tad bit of creativity...

In honor of the holidays (note the PC title)

Steven Colbert + Dance Off = Hilarity

It took a while for SC to grow on me, but that man is FUNNY.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Rain Dance-Off

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

OMFG

This is one of the many things I would worry about if I had a child. GOOD GOD.

Oh, the Obama Obsession will NEVER end!

Bonjour! and Merci! and bon... jour...

Dave and I went to Montreal! Above is a picture I took while helping Dave navigate our way back to the interstate, back to the states. As you can plainly see, I was not completely to blame for misleading directions.

Dave and I make an annual trek to Dave's hometown of Coventry, CT every year (well, okay, for the past THREE years now) after Christmas. This year, we decided to switch it up a bit and go for Thanksgiving. Plus, Dave had a high school reunion that weekend.

The thing about Canada is, I never expect it to be that different from the States. But it is--as soon as you cross the border, things are just a bit different.

After MILES of flat farmland, you suddenly see Montreal across the river. It's a wonderful city. Of course, IT instantly feels different because of all the French everywhere. And, for all those little differences. For example, KFC is PFC in Montreal:










We stayed at the Omni, which is a 5 star hotel (Dave got a us a rocking deal) and is in the central shopping district. It was perfect. Here is a picture of one of the must-see sights we saw in our 24 hours in the city: Notre Dame. It is spectacular!


Here we are taking our own picture there:

We then spent the next night at a family friend's beach resort on the coast in Maine. I fell asleep to the sound of crashing waves. Here we are on the beach:

The rest of our time was spent in Coventry, which if you haven't been is quite a cool little town. At least the way Dave gives the tour.

Back to Canada: Dave and I decided Canadians are extraordinarily nice. Even the angry callers to the talk show we listened to on our way back to the States were extremely polite in their arguments and then took forever to thank the host and say goodbye. It's remarkable.

Hate

I posted a slideshow from Picasa on another blog with the tag "Obama". Suddenly, it seems, many of the pictures that pop up are hate-based. I plan on clicking on all of the pictures and tagging them for hate. You can, too--if you see a picture on the slideshow you want to tag, click on it and it should show up on the poster's picasa site. In the right column at the bottom there is a link to tag it.

See, for example this one.

In the spirit of the season...

Have a listen.

I find the comments at the bottom of the page fascinating. This goes back to J's post on comments. Seriously? This is offensive to you? Because "Italian" is mentioned? Really? That must be so sad for you. You must really be broken up about italian dressing.

OMFG

P is at work, which means I have a bit more freedom to watch all the "crap" (as he would call it) I want on TV.  Presently, I am watching a show called "17 Kids and Counting" on TLC.  The family pictured above is REAL.  And the mom either just had or is about to have her 18th child!  As you can tell from their hair and clothes, they are uber religious -- "be fruitful and multiply" and all that.  They live in what looks like a metal barn and have several sets of appliances.  I just saw their laundry room and it has at least 4 sets of washers/driers.  It seems to me that by the time she's done, her "parts" are going to fall right out.  There doesn't appear to be an end to how many kids they will have.

They just got into a discussion about the "evils of porn on the Internet".  In case you're wondering (and you're probably not), the oldest sisters and mom will sometimes go to the Library to "go on the Internet", but they don't have online access at home.  I would ask how people used to live without the Internet, but that's pretty obvious just from the few minutes I've watched of this show.  

Mammaries...

We had one of these when I was growing up, and it was one of my favorite Christmas decorations:

I know... ugly, right?  But it's one of my favorite Christmas decorating memories.  That's why I've been asking Mom to send it to me since moving away from home.  She hasn't been able to find it, which means she did not have the same emotional attachment to it that I did.  This is when I'm glad for ebay* -- I was able to find the lovely plastic monster you see above for $12.99.  The funny part: it shipped from West Seneca, NY which is very close to my parents' house.  I wonder if the woman who sold it bought it from my Mom's yard sale?  

*Yes, even though the CEO was a McCain campaign advisor.

Also, I thought I would take this opportunity to show everyone P's and my Christmas tree.  I am including two photos below.  The first is blurry, but I find it funny because Sheila is staring at the camera.  She won't do that normally -- only when you are trying to get a picture of something you don't want her in.  

From both photos, you can tell the cats like to play on the tree skirt.  And you can see Cole in the back.  He's the black lump.

Cheers!

Goth v. Vampire

This one is for P, especially. I caught this clip, then watched the full episode. I am guessing it mark Peter Murphy's comeback with a new hit "Burning Down Hot Topic"

Over the Line

I SOMEHOW found this website selling a children's book titled "Mama Voted for Obama". While I had high hopes, it looks really dumb. (it's a rhyming book, not a version of history for kids)

The seller also has a book called Why Mommy is a Democrat. In my humble opinion, it overreaches. Excerpt below. Notice the guy selling drugs in the background. "Democrats are tolerant of drug use." hahahaha

The big 3-1

Happy birthday to... you...
Happy birthday... to you...
Happy birth... day... Mr. President...
Happy birth... day... to... you...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAUL!

I want a shiba inu!

OMG, the puppies in this video are what I want for Christmas...

M. Night Shyamalan, you owe me 201 minutes I can never get back

Like everyone, I was taken in by The Sixth Sense several years ago.  Yes, I remember jumping out of my seat several times in the theater.  And countless dumbasses played off variations of "I see dead people..." for way past its prime and we had a pop culture phenomenon on our hands.  Then Signs was a decent movie with several good scares and it was before most people realized how much of a mega douche Mel Gibson is.  But then it started to go downhill fast.  I believe I saw Unbreakable (yes, I'm being smart...) and then it started to seem like maybe M. Night had just gotten lucky.  The Village was just bad and I for one started to wonder if the director / "actor" / writer / producer really thought moviegoers would let him get away with over-wrought movies based on a twist.  

Then came The Lady In the Water.  That was just about THE WORST movie I have EVER seen and that is saying something...I was also just recently made to watch Xanadu.   The dialogue was horrible.  The story was cheesy as hell.  And the acting was marginal at best.  I feel obligated to mention at this point that D made me rent this.  (Speaking of which...I am now blogging so as to not have to pay attention to D's current selection Alvin & The Chipmunks.)  The last straw came just the other night with The Happening.  Another completely stupid premise and the trademark heavy-handed attempt at social and/or environmental commentary.  I found myself laughing at scenes that I'm sure were mean to be horrifying.  For example, I was laughing out loud when the construction workers were throwing themselves off of buildings and crashing to the ground all around their mortified friends.  

I probably wouldn't be so hard on M. Night were it not for the fact that he seems to be SO full of himself.  He takes himself and his movies way too seriously.  And appearing in your own movies?  I'm sorry, but you are NO Alfred Hitchcock.  

So please figure out how to give me back that lost 201 minutes.  Hey, that's a bargain...I'm not charging you for The Village or Unbreakable.  

  

I want to puke

This article was reprinted in the Red Eye today.  I know there are a lot of assholes out there but they are teaching their children to hate and that is the epitome of disgusting.  I am hopeful for the future of this country but we apparently have a long way to go.  Considering these people can't get along with those that are different with them I think Obama's first executive order should be shipping them off to an island where they have to survive (without guns) while being reprogrammed to love and respect those that are different than them.  Or here's an idea:  ship them to Gitmo, which Obama has said he'd shut down with another executive order.  Like killing two (racist) birds with one stone! 

Happy Holidays from the Obamas

I know it's a little early, but I couldn't wait to share:

Comments

I think I have commented on this before, but I find it ASTOUNDING what people will comment on and the nature of their comments.

Today's Example: I checked the weather forecast on the local news channel: 9news.com

The forecast is told in narrative form, but pretty much says there will be a winter weather advisory for the mountains, Denver could see light snow and cold. Mmm kay. Got it.

Then I scrolled down and there are PAGES (7, apparently) of comments. To a short story about tomorrow's weather. The likes of which I have excerpted here:

kamcakes wrote:
YAY for snow!!! It's about time!! I can't wait until Thanksgiving and Christmas!!

(um... no one cares)

User Image
HIYA1 wrote:
denver2008 wrote:
Snow? I really do not think it is nearly cold enough to snow. Now, this makes the 6th time it was SUPPOSE to snow in the Denver Metro area. Please....can you guys predict the weather more accurately?
-------------------------------------------------------------
It is called a PREDICTION for a reason... they can't control the weather; only guess as to what they have going on and what would be more likely to happen... no way of telling if the winds will change etc. Bet you couldn't do any better.

(Yikes...)


denver2008 wrote:
HIYA1....your damn straight I could not do any better. However, I did not go to school for that, nor is that what I do for a living. If I did my job, like these guys do theirs....you better believe I would be fired. Predicting snow 6 times and not one time is right....well, I guess that is all I need to say.

(oh! denver2008 actually SAW the response to their comment and thought they should comment AGAIN. Interesting...)



HIYA1 wrote:

DENVER, I am assuming then that your job is not pending on nature...sht even a doc can predict that chemo would work or a med would work, but doesn't mean that it will... plus they predicted snow in the mountains, which they got. And have you calculated the percentage of correct over incorrect? I bet you have had errors in your job as well.



HIYA1 wrote:

and denver, read sirpukealot's comment- I believe that is directed at you- someone who does such a good job and can't get your/you're correct



Wow. It's THE WEATHER, people!

A Plug for Green produce Bags

Kelly bought these for me as a gift. They're grrrrrreat!