Literal Video

Thanks to the lovely Heather McDowell for turning The Blog(tm) on to this video.

Mesa Verde

This is our destination. I plan to research things to do along the way next week (at work).

We'll be staying at the Far View Lodge which is IN the park, so we don't have to worry about the two hour drive in and out of the park!

Did You Know?
On a snowy December day in 1888, while ranchers Richard Wetherill and Charlie Mason searched Mesa Verde’s canyons for stray cattle, they unexpectedly came upon Cliff Palace for the first time. The following year, the Wetherill brothers and Mason explored an additional 182 cliff dwellings.

IF YOU HAVE ONE HALF DAY OR LESS...
Plan to spend at least four hours at Mesa Verde. Two hours of this time will be spent driving in and out of the park.
•Your first stop should be at the Far View Visitor Center (15 miles from the park entrance) for information and orientation.
•Visit the Chapin Mesa Archeological Museum and Spruce Tree House -or- drive the Mesa Top Loop Road (six-mile loop).

IF YOU HAVE ONE DAY...
•Stop at the Far View Visitor Center to purchase tickets ($3.00) to visit Cliff Palace or Balcony House.
•Drive the Cliff Palace/Balcony House Loop Road. If you plan to visit Cliff Palace or Balcony House, be sure to purchase your tickets at the Far View Visitor Center first.
•Visit the Chapin Mesa Archeological Museum, take a self-guided tour of Spruce Tree House, -and- drive the Mesa Top Loop Road (six-mile loop).
•Hike the Far View Sites Complex.

IF YOU HAVE ONE DAY (alternative)...
•Stop at the Far View Visitor Center to purchase tickets ($3.00) to visit Long House on Wetherill Mesa.
•Take the Wetherill Mesa Drive, hike the trails to the mesa top sites and cliff dwelling overlooks, and enjoy the tram service.
•Join a ranger for your ticketed tour to Long House. Be sure to purchase your tickets ($3.00) at the Far View Visitor Center before driving to Wetherill Mesa.
•Take a self-guided tour of Step House.

IF YOU HAVE TWO DAYS OR MORE (one day activities plus)...
•Stop at the Far View Visitor Center to purchase tickets to visit all three cliff dwellings (Cliff Palace, Balcony House, and Long House).
•Hike one or more of Mesa Verde's hiking trails.

NEXT WEEK

P&D are coming! WHEE!!

Not only will I get to catch up with them (and, as a result, get to know them better since I expected to score 100% on their respective "How Well Do You Know" Facebook quizzes), but we'll get to see some gorgeous Colorado scenery, play in Denver, and create life-long memories! AW.

Things I'm Excited About in June

1. Our trip to Denver/Telluride/Mesa Verde to see J!
2. My new computer
3. Our new iPhones!

*whispered* iPhones are coming.

Bing bong!

P and I are taking the plunge (we hope)! On Monday night, we met with a Realtor®, which is both exciting and pee-in-my-pants scary. She's lovely, which is nice. She knows the area we want to live in very well, which also happens to be the area we currently live in. The whole process is terribly confusing, and I work with loans all day long. Our next step -- we need to get pre-approved. Also scary, mainly because we both (OK, mostly me) are paranoid that we won't get approved. I'm sure we will, but I wouldn't be me if I wasn't worrying! Also, see my previous post about buying a computer. So much for not making major purchases right before you apply for a mortgage. What can I say? I like pretty things. We'll show pictures of our search. More to come! Unless we don't get approved, in which case I will never write of this again.

Happy Birthday to Me!

I hope that didn't make anyone panic--it's not my birthday--YET! But, it IS this month, so the free stuff is starting to trickle in. Not from my real friends--from my friends at the mall!

I used to be reluctant to sign up for memberships and clubs at stores, but then I started to realize there are some benefits (and MANY more if you shop way more savvier than I). The birthday benefits, though, are ALWAYS the best!

Thusfar, I have a $10 off coupon at DSW (min. purchase $20--that's half off!!) and a $10 gift certificate from Origins. (Thanks, guys!!) The ones I am looking forward to include the one from Aveda (years past have included free product and a custom scent--2 of which I still have!), Banana Republic (I forget what they gave me last year, but I haven't been to Banana in forever which I assume means it will be GOOD!), and I think I get something for having a GAP card.

And I certainly hope my old friend Ann Taylor LOFT remembers my birthday. She emails me every single day, I assume they're all leading up to a really nice gift!

P. D. and J. want to hear from you!

Dear European and Canadian Blog Readers,

In an effort to better understand what attracts you to our blog, we invite you to comment on this post. There are over 100 hits to our blog between you. Do you find our quaint stories of American Life(tm) exotic and strange (believe it or not, not a single one of the blog's authors drives an SUV, and we don't eat at McDonald's! Well, I guess I can't speak for J, but I presume if she knows what's good for her she doesn't! And get this! We don't own or carry guns, either! And we have health insurance! Don't let that fool you, though. True to form, we don't save nearly enough money, we carry balances on our credit cards [except P, who just paid his cards off {jerk}], and we are definitely as materialistic as they come. In fact, let's go shopping!)? Or is it just fascinating that we don't end all of our words in "e's" and call chips "french fries"?

I should point out that we DO have our similarities. I love hockey, for example, and can sing the entire Canadian national anthem. And my experience with people from Quebec is that they are annoying. (If you are from Quebec and are reading this... oh who am I kidding? By now, since you've realized this site isn't in french, you've given up.) And your blog authors are all of European stock, so we understand what it's like to be pasty and burn, even when it doesn't seem like there was enough sun to cause any sort of problem (except P, who is Italian and does not burn, ever [jerk]). And P and J have been to Europe.

In any event, please... comment. Let us know what you like, what you don't understand, and what we can do to make this a more pleasant experience for you.

Pip pip for now! Cheers! Eh? You get the picture.

P. D. and J.

Things I did today...

I bought myself a macbook pro!!!

Also -- I'm drunk.

Thanks, Rob

I guess I should be more of a fan of Rob Thomas. If only there were more vocal straight people standing up for gays. I could talk gay rights till I'm blue in the face and not be nearly as effective as a straight ally such as this.

Hey baby...

Fun with camera phones

This will be even more fun when we finally get out iPhones (t-minus one month and counting!) It can only serve to make you, our loyal readers, feel closer to us, your loyal blog writers.

This is the beer I had at a bar this weekend. It tasted exactll like banana bread. I'd recommend it.


This is my favorite picture of Sheila of all time. P took this one night using his camera phone (with flash). The lights were all out, and he had no idea how the picture would come out. I still laugh whenever I look at it.

Maybe it's life in the big city...

...but I was full of piss and vinegar today. (Like the old-timey lingo?)

So twice today I was sassy to complete strangers. Without even thinking. Like it was second natu

re. Like I was... Jenn. (Seriously, loyal readers... I can't even tell you how many times I thought Jenn would get us beat up by complete strangers... like the time she tried to give away a buy-one-get-one Long Island Ice Tea to a woman at a bar, basically just setting it in front of the woman).

I think it's a function of having lived in Chicago for 3 years now (as of this weekend!). And using public transportation the whole time.

Anyhoo, the first "incident" came after lunch today. A booth had been set up outside our cafeteria advertising a blood drive next week. A woman said to us as we were passing by, "Would you like to help us out? We're having a blood drive next week." Without a second thought I said, "No, sorry I can't. I'm not allowed." Much to the delight of my friend Leslie that was with me. I totally don't regret it though. The fact that as a gay man I can't give blood in this country is discrimination, plain and simple.

Later today I got onto a crowded bus. I was near the front with nowhere to move and no one in the back was moving further back. This girl got behind me and was all, "excuse me! excuse me!" After her having done that several times and me having moved as far as polite / possible into the personal space of the poor guy in front of me, she kept trying to shove past me. So I said, "I don't know where you think your going to go!" And she was all, "there're people trying to get on the bus. The people on the front need to move back." To which I replied, "No, the people on the back need to move back." Seriously, I can't go back until everyone ahead of me moves to the back and it's one of my pet peeves when people don't recognize this and shove past you to move back on the bus. I'm sorry but I want to move back too but I'm not a FUCKING ASSHOLE. I've almost been knocked over by douches thinking that's okay.

I guess I don't know if I like this new "city sass". That's what I'll call it. The jury's out. What does everyone think? I NEVER would have done that when I lived in Denver or Omaha. Is this the new Chicago Paul? New and improved with a touch of ass? Or just plain ass?

Hockey.

I love it. I usually limit myself to college hockey (specifically, Clarkson hockey) and the NHL playoffs. This year, Clarkson was terrible, and I got really frustrated. But now Chicago is in the conference finals for the first time in a gazillion* years. If the games weren't already sold out, I'd drag P to one. Oh well. I'll just have to settle for the fight song, which I first found in College. My favorite part is that it goes on forever. If I owned the team, I'd still use it. And I'd make them wear leisure suit style unis, too.

*exaggeration

Green Pornos

So. I was just reading about this series on Paste Magazine's website. I haven't watched it yet (I'm at work, as usual), but it sounds... intriguing?

"Green Porno focuses on the mating habits of various animals. Each short begins with Rossellini’s simple statement of, “If I were a mantis,” or, “If I were a starfish,” before quickly jumping directly into how her genitals would work in each case, what her turn-ons would be, and, with surprising frequentcy, how exactly she would defecate. Rossellini herself acts out each of these in a stunning handmade animal costume, mating with a giant prop partner and then ending abruptly when the act is finished. This brief description doesn’t do the series nearly the justice it deserves, though. Suffice it to say, if you wish to see Rossellini dressed as a snail crapping on her own head, these are the videos for you. And if, like the other 99.999% of the population, you never would’ve conceived of such a thing, there's a chance you’ll probably still want to check out the series."

Mother Translator

Last week's SNL was funny for SO many reasons. I thought Justin Timberlake was HILARIOUS. He stole every skit, by far. (Side note: is it just me or is the level of repeat sketches really, really annoying?) And, as usual, the SNL Digital Short "Mother Lover" was a hit.

The very first fake commercial, though, had me REALLY laughing. It advertised the "Mother Translator" which helps you translate what celebrity your mom is trying to tell you about (as she usually mangles their name and you have no idea who she's talking about). So funny because it's TRUE. At the end, the announcer tells you "you can buy the Mom Translator wherever mom stuff is sold... so, Ann Taylor" Which is funny because P&D make fun of me for buying mom clothes at the Loft.

You can't stop this momentum, you right-wing "Christian" haters!

It was just announced today that Maine's legislators approved a bill that would legalize same-sex marriage... it just has to be signed by the governor who hasn't indicated which way he will go. Let's hope he's not a hater.

She's 120 in dog years...

When I work evenings (HATE) at least I get to catch some daytime TV. Folks, the last 2 hours of the Today Show is all fluff. But this was just on and I had to show you a picture. This is Chanel, supposedly the oldest dog in the world (although I don't know how anyone would know that... the last dog census... wait, there never was one). She's 21. The goggles are for cataracts. I believe she's a long-haired dachshund.

Also apparently the traditional belief that dogs age 7 "dog years" for every year is apparently not accurate (and would mean that Chanel is 147...) The Today Show said she was 120 in dog years but I just read online (hence it must be true) that a more accurate estimation is that dogs age 10.5 dog years for the first 2 years of life and then 4 dog years every year thereafter. Hence Chanel would actually be 97. Not that impressive anymore, Chanel!

Iceland Twenty-Ten!

That's right, P, D and J are going to Iceland in 2010! I'm so excited, I could pee!

I hope that (1) this post brings visitors from Iceland for our blog map, (2) I can afford all-over body hair removal so I can be seen in the volcanic hot springs and (3) I am able to afford a 66 degrees north coat.

Fast fact about Iceland -- they have a national registry of first names. You can't name your child anything other than what is already on the registry.

Cuisine I will not be trying in Iceland includes:
1. rotten shark (Hakarl)
2. Entrails, brains or testicles of anything
3. whale meat

"P&D to Visit"

It's on my calendar. P&D are coming out in June and we are trying to plan a road trip to Mesa Verde during their time here.



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The drive from Denver is about 8.5 hours. And, to throw a wrench in everything, we'd probably leave Sunday or Monday and I would have to be back by Wed afternoon. SO. Carrie and you other Colorado travelers, your input is welcome. I am thinking we should drive through Montrose, maybe stay near Durango. If we left mid-morning Sunday, we could stop in Montrose and arrive in Durango before dark. Then, take in Mesa Verde the next day, stay another night and make our way back Tues. I'm just wondering what else there is to see on the way. Telluride is gorgeous--we could stop and shop there (by "shop", I mean look for celebrities). What do you think?

I *heart* Pop

I really do. Which is why I was excited to learn that Colombia is the world's third largest consumer of the stuff! I tried a few different kinds of pop while I was there, but the most interesting to me was Coke. The Coke in Colombia was sweetened with real sugar and was MUCH better than the kind we have here. So, imagine my surprise when I saw Pepsi Throwback in the store! Pepsi Throwback is made with real sugar, just like it was in the 60's and 70's. It also tastes much better. They are also making Mountain Dew Throwback, which is even more exciting. That stuff used to pump through my veins in College.

Also, at Target, I found a "premium" Pepsi available in 4-packs. It's called Pepsi Natural. Think Jones Soda. Of course, I bought some. I also enjoyed that quite a lot.