I have largely ignored the details of the Charlie Sheen drama, but this provides a lovely summary of his recent interviews in a catchy song which is actually quite hilarious. WINNING!
P. D. and J. ...with a special appearance by H
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Some of the funniest sh*t on YouTube
My cousin Matt (by marriage, not blood) shared with me a couple of gems currently on YouTube. If you have not seen them, then you can credit me with injecting these into your consciousness. The first: an auto-tuned interview with a witness to a robbery. So catchy, you'll be humming it for the rest of your life:
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The Airport
Hello, blog. I was thinking about you most of the weekend. How I wanted to instantly post my thoughts as I made several insightful observations of people at the airport.
I spent all day traveling last week, Denver to Raleigh through Philadelphia. I think once you know flying is going to take all day, you can find this zen-like state where you are just passing the time and observing. For the most part, I was impressed to watch people follow the rules. We all line up, we all take off our shoes, etc., etc. I think maybe 95% of people don't cause problems as individuals at the airport. Of course, the more people there are, the more congestion there is, and that can cause its own problems, but those types of issues aren't attributable to any one person
But then there are those people that seem to have no sense of the impact of their actions on other people. Like, the woman who refused to get off the phone as our plane was taxiing. The announcement to turn off all electronic devices was made five times (I know they were addressing her). But I could believe she couldn't HEAR the request since she was hanging onto a phone call. But then when SHE decided to end the phone call, she was still texting and then waiting for a reply to her text. I watched her do this even as the flight attendant made a personal request for her to turn off her phone--she pretended to, then turned it right back on to watch her text screen. I wanted so badly to say something. Something like, "Hey, I assume you don't believe that there is a real reason for you to turn off your phone, but I do. And, since I'm a little anxious about being on a plane, would you mind, for the sake of my anxiety, turning off your GODDAMN phone?!" --see, I wasn't sure I'd be able to pull off a polite request.
She did eventually turn her phone off. She must have been an expert in flight navigation systems, right? Knowing for sure her phone being on was okay and all. Of course, she proceeded to talk incessantly to her neighbor on the flight (not me). And since her neighbor seemed interested in carrying on a conversation with this person, I decided not to let THAT upset me. But I do want to say that the next time anyone decides not to follow the rules on a plane, I will be willing you dead. Except not in a place crash.
That goes for the guy who, once we landed, jumped up to retrieve his suitcase from the overhead. The flight attendant asked him to sit. He said he couldn't--his phone was in his bag and his ride was waiting for his call. She explained (SO nicely--God bless her infinite patience) that she needed to get to the unaccompanied kids in the seats behind him to get them off the plane first and that he needed to sit down. Long story short: he yelled at her that he needed his phone as if it was OBVIOUS the need for urgency in this matter and completely disregarded her order. I want to know: WHERE WAS THE US MARSHALL?? I think he thought he was perfectly justified, but all I could think was: he is blatantly disregarding an order. If this were a fire and she were trying to direct us all out, he's be pulling the same crap and we'd all die so that he could get to his cell phone and let his ride know the plane had landed early in a fiery crash.
Oh, what else? Oh! The guy who wanted to be in another line in security, so crossed in front of me dragging his bag behind him. At first I thought, "Hm. He didn't even say excuse me" but THEN, his bag got caught on the bag of the standing in front of me and he STILL didn't say anything! He just annoyedly looked to see what the holdup was--never looked at the guy, just at the guy's bag.
And the lady who bumped into me several times as I was sitting on a stool at an airport restaurant. I looked to watch her mount the stool next to me and she let me know that she's "sorry, I'm just trying to sit down and keep my bag near me" which is fine and all except 1. I didn't appreciate the tone--I was perfectly nice about it, but it sounded like she was arguing with me and 2. she never LOOKED at me.
And then the guy who held up the plane as he left his 3rd row seat and PUT ON HIS JACKET before he left the plane. We are all watching you. And we are all hating you.
And, finally: baggage claim. If I am standing where the bags come out, that's my spot. I got there first. Just because you see your bag does not mean you get to elbow me out of the way to get it. Just wait and the belt will carry it down the line to you. I promise! And parents--it's not cute if your kid is the one doing this. Also: the rope they put in front of the area right where the bags come out? Your kid should not be standing in front of it. Casual observation tells you that the bags tend to come out with enough force that they could topple onto the ground right where your kid is standing. I mean, I'm pretty sure you'd still sue if your kid got hurt which makes it all the more annoying when you giggle everytime your kid winces at the bags toppling toward them.
All this being said, it's still my belief that the vast majority of people follow the rules and are self-aware, if not always super polite.
I spent all day traveling last week, Denver to Raleigh through Philadelphia. I think once you know flying is going to take all day, you can find this zen-like state where you are just passing the time and observing. For the most part, I was impressed to watch people follow the rules. We all line up, we all take off our shoes, etc., etc. I think maybe 95% of people don't cause problems as individuals at the airport. Of course, the more people there are, the more congestion there is, and that can cause its own problems, but those types of issues aren't attributable to any one person
But then there are those people that seem to have no sense of the impact of their actions on other people. Like, the woman who refused to get off the phone as our plane was taxiing. The announcement to turn off all electronic devices was made five times (I know they were addressing her). But I could believe she couldn't HEAR the request since she was hanging onto a phone call. But then when SHE decided to end the phone call, she was still texting and then waiting for a reply to her text. I watched her do this even as the flight attendant made a personal request for her to turn off her phone--she pretended to, then turned it right back on to watch her text screen. I wanted so badly to say something. Something like, "Hey, I assume you don't believe that there is a real reason for you to turn off your phone, but I do. And, since I'm a little anxious about being on a plane, would you mind, for the sake of my anxiety, turning off your GODDAMN phone?!" --see, I wasn't sure I'd be able to pull off a polite request.
She did eventually turn her phone off. She must have been an expert in flight navigation systems, right? Knowing for sure her phone being on was okay and all. Of course, she proceeded to talk incessantly to her neighbor on the flight (not me). And since her neighbor seemed interested in carrying on a conversation with this person, I decided not to let THAT upset me. But I do want to say that the next time anyone decides not to follow the rules on a plane, I will be willing you dead. Except not in a place crash.
That goes for the guy who, once we landed, jumped up to retrieve his suitcase from the overhead. The flight attendant asked him to sit. He said he couldn't--his phone was in his bag and his ride was waiting for his call. She explained (SO nicely--God bless her infinite patience) that she needed to get to the unaccompanied kids in the seats behind him to get them off the plane first and that he needed to sit down. Long story short: he yelled at her that he needed his phone as if it was OBVIOUS the need for urgency in this matter and completely disregarded her order. I want to know: WHERE WAS THE US MARSHALL?? I think he thought he was perfectly justified, but all I could think was: he is blatantly disregarding an order. If this were a fire and she were trying to direct us all out, he's be pulling the same crap and we'd all die so that he could get to his cell phone and let his ride know the plane had landed early in a fiery crash.
Oh, what else? Oh! The guy who wanted to be in another line in security, so crossed in front of me dragging his bag behind him. At first I thought, "Hm. He didn't even say excuse me" but THEN, his bag got caught on the bag of the standing in front of me and he STILL didn't say anything! He just annoyedly looked to see what the holdup was--never looked at the guy, just at the guy's bag.
And the lady who bumped into me several times as I was sitting on a stool at an airport restaurant. I looked to watch her mount the stool next to me and she let me know that she's "sorry, I'm just trying to sit down and keep my bag near me" which is fine and all except 1. I didn't appreciate the tone--I was perfectly nice about it, but it sounded like she was arguing with me and 2. she never LOOKED at me.
And then the guy who held up the plane as he left his 3rd row seat and PUT ON HIS JACKET before he left the plane. We are all watching you. And we are all hating you.
And, finally: baggage claim. If I am standing where the bags come out, that's my spot. I got there first. Just because you see your bag does not mean you get to elbow me out of the way to get it. Just wait and the belt will carry it down the line to you. I promise! And parents--it's not cute if your kid is the one doing this. Also: the rope they put in front of the area right where the bags come out? Your kid should not be standing in front of it. Casual observation tells you that the bags tend to come out with enough force that they could topple onto the ground right where your kid is standing. I mean, I'm pretty sure you'd still sue if your kid got hurt which makes it all the more annoying when you giggle everytime your kid winces at the bags toppling toward them.
All this being said, it's still my belief that the vast majority of people follow the rules and are self-aware, if not always super polite.
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